Dalam Dakapan Ibu

My Mak

2012-01-24T00:33:00.000+08:00

Back in 2009, on Mother’s Day, I wrote a posting on how I felt about my Mak.

How much I loved her. How much she meant to me. How grateful I was for all the things, sacrifices and everything she did for me.

How I loved our at-least-5-times-a-week phone conversations and enjoying every minute of them listening to her stories.

How I appreciated her for lending me her shoulders and ears when I was down. How I valued the tips and advices she gave. How much it truly meant for us in helping us coping with having two special children and during our ups and downs.

How happy I was to see the sparkle in Mak’s eyes or the happiness in her voice everytime she was with good news. And just how painful it was for me to see or hear her cry.

I wrote about the unconditional love she gave, and about why she never once raised her voice to me. How I loved her babying her grown-up children and grandchildren. And how I adored her perfections... and imperfections.

I wrote about how great a cook she was. How I loved her air tangan. Of how contagious her smiles and laughters were. Of how gentle the words she spoke. Of how much I loved her that it hurts.

I remember writing how I wanted her to be there forever for me and my family.

I wanted her to be IMMORTAL. And that I know was simply impossible.

That was when I stopped writing the entry. I just couldn’t fathom the thoughts of not having her anymore in our lives. And it felt rather childish, a 43yo wishing her mom to live forever. Get a grip, I told myself. Nothing lasts forever.

Thus I made this post instead.

How I wish I’ve posted the first entry which I’ve deleted. So that she knew how much she meant to me when she read my blog. How much I loved her.

Now my Mak is gone.

She who meant the world to me. Whom I still need. Whom I never dared to imagine could die, had died.

But Allah knows best. Although it was sudden, we were given the chance to say our goodbyes when she was in a coma. We gave her our hugs and kisses. We held her hands. We talked to her. We recited prayers and gave her our do’as. In her deep sleep we knew she’d be in safe hands when she was ready to leave.

My heart was torn to pieces as I struggled to prepare for her loss.
And within that <60 hours, she left us. Peacefully.

Exactly two months ago.
Thursday 24th November 2011 @ 3:57am.
She was 69. Massive Subarachnoid Hemorrhage.

It was excruciatingly painful to lose someone you love.

But I have accepted everything with my utmost redho.

Innalillahi wainna ilahiroji’un – From Allah We Came and Unto Him is Our Return.

.................... 9th August 1942 - 24th November 2011 ...............

May Allah grant my Mak, DATIN RAHMI JURAU, the highest place in the Jannah. Semoga Mak tenang di sana di samping orang-orang yang Beriman. Amiin.

**To those who still have their Maks, or Ayahs – ‘enjoy’ having them in your lives while you can coz when she/he’s gone, they’re REALLY GONE**

Teringin

2011-05-29T02:39:00.004+08:00

It’s already six months since my last posting. I wanted to write but somehow things got in the way, like always. It’s not that I was that busy, since my life routine’s still the same. Although my Hasya and Haifa have stopped going for their swimming classes and squash trainings (equals to more free time), I just couldn’t sit in front of this laptop and type. Blame it on the lazy bug, boleh?

Tonight however I feel like writing…hahaha

I’m now at home. Feeling elated at the thought of seeing my family next week. Up north, where my beloved parents and my siblings/families will be gathered. My Ayah and Mak will be there, and I’d already bought the things that my Ayah… in Kedah-meaning - TERINGIN.

He called me up last few weeks, out of the blues:

"Ja, Ayah baru makan benda ni yang Ja kirim tu.."

(Hmmmh, what did I kirim? I remember I didn’t kirim anything for him thru my nephew Zhafri when he went home for holidays in early April)

"Apa Ayah, Ja tak ingat la.. cuba habaq... "

"Ni yang macam kerepek tu.. dalam plastik.. sedaap ... Ayah tak perasan dok ataih meja… bila rasa, sedap sangat".

"Errr ... apa dia Ayah.. "

"Ayah cari kot Aloq Setaq tak dak pun. Sebab paket plastik dia takdak tulih nama syarikat apa. Macamana nak cari kat sini taktau... "

(Suddenly I remembered... The jajans I gave Zhafri when he came to leave his things from UIA before going back for holidays the next day)

"Oh, tu kerepek macam maruku tu Ayah. Ja beli kat kawan kat ofis. Memang sedap pun. Nanti Ja beli kat Ayah".

"Ha.. yang tu la kot.... nanti hang tulong beli no.."

"Ha, nanti Ja bawak pi cuti nanti naa… "

"Satu lagi, yang biskut yang ada badam tu Ayah beli kat sini tak sedap yang macam yang hang beli... yang sana punya rangup.. "

"Oh tu Biscotti Ayah, nanti Ja order & bawak sana na.. " (dalam hati nak tergelak pun ada)

"Okay na Ja. Terimakasihlah. Kirim salam kat Zaki na..."

"Okay Ayah".

I put down the phone & burst out laughing!

Two simple things that my 74yo father wanted or teringin to eat. Knowing ayah, it took some courage for him to call and ask for these simple things. Like my Mak, he too never asked for anything for us to buy.

I'll bring more than what was in the pics. I only hope I have enough space in the cars for that tho..hahaha :)

Temperamental Old Man

2010-11-25T12:18:00.001+08:00

While driving to work this morning, I saw a green Mercedes which looked rather familiar. I was trying to recall the significance of it when it suddenly hit me – it looked like that Mydin carpark car!

I didn’t blog about this when the incident happened - sometime in April or May this year. I actually witnessed something in Mydin USJ covered carpark that changed my perception of a naïve old man. I never would have thought that a small, innocent-looking pakcik would be so aggressive and so temperamental that he’d do what did that day.

I had just reverse-parked my car and was readying myself to go out when something caught my eye. A man in an old green Mercedes was trying to park his car. I was across these 2 Kancils which were parked in the row infront of me, and this man was on the other row which was facing (butt-to-butt) with these Kancils. Since I was facing the road, I could see what he was doing.

He struggled to park, that I could see. He reversed his car to get a better angle to go in but couldn’t. Then I think he realized that there was a shopping cart which was at the corner of his parking space. He got off his car, walked to the cart and literally PUSHED the cart away! The cart went astray and finally headed towards my car. I got off my car and somehow managed a “Hoiiii!”. Lucky for me the cart was stopped by that unlucky EZ850 silver-colored Kancil!

The fragile-looking pakcik got out of his car, locked it and walked towards the shops. He didn’t even bother to check the dented-Kancil. Haisshh! At first I stood there unmoved since I was in a state of shock! It was so jahat of him lah! Later when I checked, the Kancil had a pretty deep dent. Kesian this Kancil owner :(

So guys, if you happen to see this green E230 Mercedes driven by a pakcik with plate number BER7XX1, do stay away ya?

20.10.2010

2010-10-20T16:58:00.002+08:00

Everyday when I hug him before going to work, I have this feeling that he’s actually saying,
“Bye Ibu, drive carefully” with that slanting smile of his.

And today, I did the same thing... but somehow this morning, I had this momentary glimpse of him turning to me and say,
“Ibu, I want a new handphone for my birthday".

That never happens, but that imaginary moment became like a replay of a two-song-playlist all the way to work.

If only he knew how much we love him.

Happy 17th Birthday my brave boy.
We love you.

pic update: Hanis chose Chocolate Indulgence cake for Haziq :)

“We’d give you the world if we could, baby”.

Haircut, anyone?

2010-10-11T17:08:00.001+08:00

Six drafts! I wrote six postings and left them unfinished and unpublished. So many things happened and so many things to write about.. but when I sat down and began to write, some things would get in the way. So terbengkalai lah posting2 itu :P I’ll try to finish them up and post them with the dates I started writing. Let’s see whether I’ll be able to do that (hahaha...I don't think so!)

Well, now that Syawal is over, we’ve no more open houses to attend to. Last Sunday my Haifa mengongot, “Ibu dah lama tak buat Fettuchine Carbonara” and since I had no plan other than to check my plants in the garden, cooking seemed to be a good excuse to be in the kitchen and get my face greasy from the stove. Too lazy to debone the chicken, I drove to Ayamas with my Hasya to buy a few trays of raw chicken fillets. Came back and saw my Hanis’s room locked. Saw this on the door,

so I put some coins in, and knocked. Haifa opened the door and when I stepped inside.... I saw rambut blonde merata-rata!!! Aiyooo!!! What happened???

Rupanya my Haifa (and Hanis - her partner in crime) decided to play salon!

Just look at the cutting 'style'! I doubt they'll be getting any customers...hahahaha....

Alahaaai..kesian the Barbie dolls tu. All short-haired now.
And don't forget, kesian to Haifa's Ibu too. If one Barbie is priced at RM89, how much have I spent on them all! Nasib baik I came in early, or some more Barbies will be Kents!

When asked why she cut Barbies’ hair,
“Nak bagi cantik” came the answer.

Hmmhhh... Haifa, Haifa :)

My 2010 Raya

2010-09-23T23:10:00.019+08:00

Today’s September 23rd, meaning that it has been two weeks since we’ve celebrated the first day of Syawal. Talking about Raya, what a wonderful Raya it was! And so tiring as well! It was Kedah’s turn this year and since there were 11 of us to fit into the MPV, we exported two kids and a maid via air to Alor Setar on the Tuesday before Raya. The rest of us had to travel on the PLUS highway a day after.

We managed to buka-puasa with my parents for two days. On the last day of puasa, we went to Stadium Darulaman for its Pasar Ramadhan and I was so happy that I got to buy the famous Nasik Ulam Aishah and the White Palace Cucur Udang! Too bad we didn’t have the time to go to Kuala Kedah for Laksa Telok Kechai... or else it would definitely be a perfect buka-puasa for me!

That night was Bunga Api night. What is Raya without Bunga Api, right? My kids, nephews, nieces, maids, and of course yours truly had so much fun that night. It was worth the money spentlah.

The first day of Raya was spent in Alor Setar and Kodiang. That morning, after Raya prayers and salam sessions, it was family picture time, where all 30+ of us had our family picture taken at a studio. Then off we went to my Mak Ndak's newly renovated house and later to my Adik’s house. By then, all tummies were full but we had to continue our Raya Journey..to meet the Queen, my dad’s mother – TOK!

The destination was Kodiang (pronounced Kokdiang ya.. it’s my Ayah’s kampong and the place I was born).

Bukit Keplu in Kodiang

It was a bit gloomy this year since my cousin just lost her husband, Abang Mat, in a road accident in Ramadhan. Kak Fauziah was in tears that evening when she told me how Abang Mat practically did EVERYTHING for her, and she stressed to me again and again – EVERYTHING! Now that he was gone, she was left clueless. What with her mother, Wa (my aunt), being bedridden after falling on the hospital staircase and broke her leg while visiting Abang Mat in the ICU on that fateful day. Listening to her relating her story of her Abang Mat made me appreciate life even more with my loved ones around.

Al Fatihah to Abg Mat who was such a jovial and helpful person. May he be blessed and placed amongst the Muqarrabin. Amiin.

Every second day of Raya will be Tunjang day. Tunjang, the place where my Mak was born and raised. She’s the youngest of 8 Jurau siblings – 2 deceased, now leaving her with 1 brother and 4 sisters. Tahlil session was held at Mak Chik’s house in the late morning and a small kenduri later in the afternoon. It was a nice reunion/gathering where the four generations of the Jurau clan exchanged their stories, and laughters were heard throughout the evening.

L to R : Mak Njang, Mak Ngah, Mak Ndak, Mak Chik and Mak.

This is my Mak with her siblings. It would be nice if their eldest, my Pak Chaq who lives in Pontian is in this pic.

And oh, later after leaving Tunjang, we went to Mak Njang’s house right before Maghrib prayers. Dalam kelam-kabut tu aku pi jugak rumah hang tau!

The third day of Raya was my parent's Open House day. It was Meehoon Sup Utara this year. Such joy melayan tetamu who came.. didn’t feel tired at all!

The fourth day was Raya @ Siblings’ day. Went to my eldest bro, Bemmie’s house in Alor Setar, then to Sg Petani to my 2nd bro, Benjie’s and later to my only sis, Kak Anim’s house. It was a fun day and.. *burp*.. filling as well ..hehehe.. Dear Hubby wasn’t feeling well that night, and since we were supposed to leave the next day, we decided to postpone the trip home to the 6th Raya, 15th Sept. I called MAS to reschedule Hanna+Hasya+Tini-the-maids’ flight tickets from the 15th Sept to the 16th Sept but couldn’t since we bought the tickets via Grab-a-Deal.

Oh well, we couldn’t leave on the same day with the girls on the 15th for sure since the girls would be arriving in KUL much earlier than us! So we had to stick to the original plan, us leaving on the 14th, and the girls flying on the 15th. Dear Hubby took paracetamol and hit the bed much earlier than us that night. He had to rest since he gotta drive us home the next day.

The fifth day was 14th Sept, my Hanna’s 13th Birthday! Hanna loved the beautiful birthday cake, and the younger kids the KFC!

Nice cake isn’t it? Tasted great too (TQ Zue)

We left Alor Setar at 3pm (I think). Reached home 4-5 hours later.

All in all, it was a great Raya for us all :D

Ramadhan Al-Mubarak

2010-08-11T07:25:00.001+08:00

Salam Ramadhan al-Mubarak to all my Muslim brothers and sisters.

May we be blessed with great health, strength and patience in this Holy month to perform extra deeds, and may this be our best Ramadhan ever!

Patience, my girls :)

2010-07-23T14:10:00.003+08:00

This time my Hasya and my Haifa managed to practically act on how to be truly patient. They learned how it felt to wait for something they really wanted to happen. They also learned how to maintain their cool with their friends whenever the topic they so badly wanted to hear was brought up. They managed the stressful period of 1-week so well. Kudos Hasya and Haifa!

Yes – they so badly wanted to watch Eclipse! But their Ayah and Ibu told them that they could only watch the movie when my Hanna’s back for the weekend break. Of courselah I could bring them to watch the movie when it was out and watch it again later with Hanna, but it wouldn’t be fun for Hanna to watch it with people who’d blurt out what the next scene would be like!

Hahahaha...I’m proud of you girls!

To Raihana

2010-07-14T13:53:00.004+08:00

To my beautiful friend, my confidante,
I know it’s hard for you to accept what’s happening in your life right now. The life you thought would be void of cruelty and madness. I know it’s even harder for you to wear that fake smile to show the world that you’re not hurting. I know it hurts, dear. It hurts so bad that even I can feel your pain.

If only we could go back to change things to the way we want them to happen. If only that could be done. Mistakes are made, I know, but it depends on how they happened. How severe those mistakes were. How ugly the actions were that you’d want to puke and cringe just thinking about them.. How dirty the mistakes were that they can’t be erased with anything....

Except TAUBAT.

Only taubat will be the answer. But the person who made those mistakes will have to give his all. But did he? Or will he? After all these years, and after all those so-called mistakes, will he change?

I know you’re a giver, dear. You’re the kind of person who’d give the shirt off her back. You believe that people can change for the better. You’re willing to take the risk. Thus you ignored everything around you. The others who love you. Those who care for you. Those who’re part of you in the whole episodes of your life.

Sigh. There are so many things I want to say to you. But I just don’t want to lose you.

Sigh.

Hanna & MRSM

2010-07-07T13:25:00.004+08:00

I was cleaning my drawer last night when I saw 6 movie ticket stubs. We watched the movie last year at Sunway Pyramid and I still remember one incident while queuing up to get that tickets. I was waiting with my Hanna when she recognized this guy in the same queue.
She went “Ibu, itu Sam Bunkface!”
I asked her, “Are you sure?”
“Very sure lah Ibu!” came the answer.
So I went like “You really want to buy his CD, so why don’t I ask him?”
“Jangaaaan Ibu.... malu!”

Hahaha.. I was just bluffing and there Hanna was – trying to make herself invisible for having a daring mom like me! I saw her face reddened. My God, my 11+ yo daughter really thought I was gonna embarrass her!

Since Sam and his pretty girlfriend were like two feet away when the line went the corner, I sakat Hanna some more... I whispered “Let me take his picture with my phone. You definitely wanna post this in FB and Myspace”

“Jangaaaaaan IBUuuuuuu.. pleeeeeezz nooooo”, and she turned away.... Malu for sure.. so I said “Oklah”. But I did snap twice when they were waiting for their popcorns. I know Hanna would like to tayang to her two sisters – Hasya and Haifa later on.

Alahai... Teringat my Hanna... who is now away from me in a boarding school up north since end of March. Sigh. I miss you. Double sigh.

You see, when she took the UPSR exam last year, just to be ‘fair’ I told her that she’d only be applying for MRSM, and not other schools. So I didn’t get online to apply for SBP for her. When the UPSR results were out, I have to fulfill my promise, so with a heavy heart I filled out the MRSM form for her and send it to MARA (hoping that she wouldn’t get in!)

The MRSM results came out in February 2010 and she wasn’t selected. I was happy – Yay! I gotta keep my baby at home! Hanna was ok, since initially she didn’t give much thought about MRSM anyway. She was happy with her friends and the school that she went was just around the corner. Unlike some of my friends who appealed to MARA, we didn’t. I just told her, “It’s all fated that you didn’t get to go to MRSM. Remember Allah knows what’s best for you”.

It was a month later when Dear Hubby called me in the office telling me that somebody from MRSM called him and asked him to check MARA’s website regarding Hanna. I was surprised to see the online offer letter from MRSM and that she had to register at the MRSM in less than two weeks. She was included in the second intake for Form One students to be enrolled in one MRSM up north.

That was a tough decision to make. Should I let her go? How about the classes she’s been taking like swimming, taekwondo, piano, squash and the guitar lesson she’s just started? Would she be ok like me when I was 12+ ... finding my way in MRSM Kulim in 1979? Would she find great friends like I did? Would she learn the many tastes of life like I had?

My friends in FB gave their opinions... so did my parents and my siblings. There were pros and cons... but mostly pros. Most would say that it would be for her future. Her education. So that the path for her to go on will be there once she finishes high school. But I knew then that whatever it was, it would all be up to me to decide since Hanna herself couldn’t decide. The thing was, I’ve always told myself, ever since the kids were just babies.. that I would never let the children leave the house until they’re done with their SPM and further their studies elsewhere. Not in a million years would I send them to boarding schools!

It was a Yes and No decisions in the next 4 days... until one day, while on our way to Kluang to see my MIL, Dear Hubby and I discussed (again!) and he said something like “It’s kinda funny to me when you don’t want Hanna to go to MRSM and yet you were schooled there. You should know how great it was.”

Yes, I had been selfish. I wanted her with me.. just because. So what should I say to her now that she’s got the offer? What about “It’s all fated that you did get to go to MRSM. Remember Allah knows what’s best for you?”

So I decided to let her go. She’s now away from me in her MRSM. It’s tough you know, especially during birthdays when she wasn’t around to share the birthday cakes. Like going to the cinema to catch a good film. Or eating her favorite food and drinking her favorite drink. Or walking passed her favorite store in a mall. All would always come to “Hanna sure will love this”.

It’s been more than 3 months since, and I’m getting used to her not being around the house now. I can’t remember how many trips we’ve made up north to visit her or how many phone calls she made to me. She learns how to take care of her things now - washes her own clothes, gets up in the mornings on her own, tidies her own bed and locker, sweeps the floor, irons her clothes and manages her own time. These are all new to her since at home these are all done by the maid.

Everytime I see her, she looks more mature than my previous visit. But I guess she’s still pretty much smitten with Sam Bunkface..hahahaha...

** We love you Hanna! Take care of yourself, ok?

Haifa's 8th Birthday

2010-04-29T22:35:00.001+08:00

It's been a while since my last posting. So many things got in the way... but today I just have to write.

Yes, today's a very important day for my darling Haifa. She's 8 today, April the 29th. No request for rabbits this year...hahaha... she said she wanted a new bike! The one she's been cycling in and around the house was from her 6th birthday. I asked her - what are you gonna do with two bikes? No answer, just a shrug. Hasya quickly said that she'd take Haifa's old bike so that we could buy Haifa a new one... (oh, you're so sweet Hasya!) But it just didn't make sense.. having two girls cycling in (and I mean IN) the house!! It would just be too chaotic lah!

So I tried to convince her... how about a new watch? Since she lost her watch (her birthday present for her 7th birthday) only months after getting it, I thought it would be better to have a new one. Lucky that she agreed.. phew!

I was actually feeling this guilt these past two weeks. Haifa wanted to have a birthday party with clown and balloons at home. Since we were very busy on weekends, with trips up north to see my Hanna at a boarding school and swimming trainings for Hasya and Haifa... I convinced her to have the party done at any McD/KFC restaurants around our area. As easy as one to consume a small bowl of creme brulee, she agreed.

It was when I started calling and visiting these outlets that I realized that I was too late to make a booking for Haifa's party. Thus the sad news. Kesian Haifa.

So it was a simple celebration at home just now. The cake cutting and the picture taking. It felt rather incomplete without Hanna around.. but we just have to get use to it for now.

So here's a birthday wish for my darling Haifa...

Haifa,
Ayah and Ibu will always make do'a for you... for your life to be filled with great health and wealth, undying love and happiness, sweet success, beautiful imaan, and wonderful friends and families. We know that you're full of potentials.. so do what you think you can do best, ok? Remember that we love you so very much!

We love you Haifa.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Cake from Lea Oven.. as usual memang sedap & cantik

An Update on Asrama Donni

2010-03-01T17:49:00.012+08:00

Remember Donni John Duin? Donni was 11 when he took his own life in March 2007 so that he could ease the suffering of his mother and replace his mother’s weak heart with his. It was during our 30th Killerbatch reunion at Taman Equestrian Putrajaya on the 7th February 2009 that this idea of Kulim to Kiulu (K2K) for Asrama Donni was tabled out. At that time, I was somehow skeptical.. Eh..boleh ke ni... so many things to do la.. how to get RM250K etc.... but who’d ever thought that it would become a reality!

K2K project initiated by us – the ex-students of MRSM Kulim (1979-1983) aka Killerbatch is actually a fun raising project to build a dormitory for the underprivileged high school students of SMK Tun Fuad Stephens in Kiulu, Tamparuli, Sabah who have to walk miles across the rivers and jungles for hours before they can reach their school. With the dormitory, these students will no longer have to endure those exhausting long walks anymore.

The journey that Killerbatch took to realize not only their dream, but the dream of hundreds of students back in Kiulu Sabah was full of adventures and lively of colors. Along the way, new friendships were made and new paths were taken. Everything was indeed remarkable... and at the end of the road, countless huggings, hand-shakings, phone calls, emails, teh-tarik dos, brain-storming sessions, smiles, laughters, sweat and tears could fill the ocean spread between Kulim to Kiulu.

Such precious experience. Priceless.

How did we get the fund? Apart from the generous donors (companies, families, friends and even strangers), Killerbatch participated in 3 major events through out the 12 months - Tune Talk, I Miss Him So Much and Ghazal Party Queen.

Kulim to Kiulu charity series started off with us participating in the Tune Talk competition which was on from June to August 2009, with K2K as its cause. It wasn’t easy doubling up the votes, but with the help of our family and friends, especially those from Sabah Credit Corporation, we managed to win the first prize of RM50K! Not bad for a beginner :)

The second was I Miss Him So Much art charity where we teamed up with our good friend Galeri Chandan, held at Galeri Chandan from 30th September to 12th October 2009. Around 40 generous local artists participated in the exhibition, and more than RM200K worth of artworks were sold. It was a huge success!

Datuk Mukhriz - officiated IMHSM and attended GPQ, such a great person!

The final part of the charity drive series was Ghazal Party Queen (which I'll elaborate more here) held at Taman Budaya from 5th to 8th February 2010. GPQ was a restaging of an award winning play with 8 Killerbatch and ANGKA (Angkatan Karyawan Aktif Kuala Lumpur) as its cast. It was based on a true story of one Pak Teh Nan, a famous former Ghazal Party Queen in Sungai Bakat. During the day, he worked as a paddy farmer and at night, a graceful belly dancer in Ghazal Party.

Pak Teh was in love with Kamariah and nobody knew of their love affair. He was broken apart when Kamariah was married off to his own bestfriend, Pak Din. Indeed it was a sad night for Pak Teh, when he had to perform his Ghazal dance during their wedding kenduri. To further crush him to pieces, Pak Teh was accused of something he didn’t do. That was the last dance he’d ever done. The hurtful dance.

I loved the play.. especially that Munah character – so entertaining!

GPQ - some of the cast which include Aishah, the big-hearted singer. Munah is the one in the short black kebaya

Hmmhh... the project is now at the end of the road. Looking back at the road we've taken, I would say that Alhamdulillah, Kulim to Kiulu is a success! Despite some criticisms made by certain quarters regarding the project, Killerbatch stood tall to endure the sour remarks and other challenges. With wonderful people-with-visions in the team, giving their best in everything they did, and those not in the team but giving everything their support and encouragement, Asrama Donni is now complete! Yeap, the official opening will be on 17th April 2010. Insyaallah TYT Tun Datuk Seri Panglima Ahmadshah Abdullah and Datuk Mukhriz Mahathir among others will be attending the ceremony... as well as Killerbatch families and friends.

It is such a great honor for me to be an iota part of the project.

We are very much thankful to so many people, especially K2K partners - Sabah Credit Corporation, Galeri Chandan, CIMB Foundation and Tun Ahmadshah Foundation, friends from Ansara, Galeri Chandan, Tune Talk and ANGKA, our teachers from MRSM Kulim, Killerbatch families and friends, and those who supported the project by helping in so many ways - THANK YOU. Let’s hope that more “Asrama Donnis” will be built to help other kids around Tanah Tumpah Darah kita ini...

Missing my Flight

2010-02-10T17:42:00.002+08:00

January’s gone... and now it’s already February. That first month of the year passed me by ever so quickly like a blink of an eye! I’ve been trying to write for quite some time but there were many things that got in the way...errr... a lame excuse huh?

January has been an easy month to begin with, with the kids starting schools, especially my Hanna who is now in a secondary school. I didn’t apply the SBP for her, but I did fill out the MRSM forms and sent them to MARA and ANSARA after her UPSR results was out. Hanna didn’t say anything to me regarding MRSM. We both thought the same thing – just wait and see.

When the result was out online on Feb 1st, I was somehow happy. Happy that she didn’t get accepted! How selfish of me was that? Being an ex-MRSM student myself, I know all the good things and all the benefits that MRSMs have to offer.. but... I just couldn’t shake this relief feeling off me. Well, I could sense that she felt the same way too.

Anyway, something happened to me on Saturday that affirmed “There’s Always a First Time for Everything” saying. I missed my flight home to Alor Setar! Dear Hubby and I were supposed to attend a cousin’s wedding in Kodiang, so the plan was to catch the earliest flight out, and the night flight in. I took my shower at 4:50am that morning and left home before 6am to catch the 7:15am flight. It’d usually take us around 30-35mins to reach LCCT but we were rather ignorant of these issues:
1) Parking at LCCT... uuurghhh.. If you’re not chauffeur-driven there, remember that it takes more than 5mins to find the parking space, get your bags out and lock your car.

2) Park to the nearest entrance to “Pelepasan”, and not “Ketibaan”, ok? When you're in a hurry, remember that every minute counts.

3) The check-in counters with flight destinations displayed are not meant for the above-forty people... like me. You either have to be sharp enough to scan which counter to go (when in a hurry), or use the binoculars while pulling your bag... and oh, remember not to trample on other passengers’ legs/bags while doing so.

So yeah, we couldn’t get on that flight. Although the plane was still there on the tarmac waiting for another 20mins before take-off, we were too late since the doors had been closed – according to the non-smiling PR guy who was supposed to be dealing with ‘public’ like us (I guess these people are trained to be void of emotions, or else they won’t last long in that profession).

And yeah, we didn’t take another flight out. I called up my cousin and apologized profusely for not being able to attend her son’s wedding. I also called my Mak, and was overcome by chagrin when Mak told me that she had cooked a sumptuous breakfast for us and was readying some special meal for us for lunch. Alahaaii.. frustnya.... Next time na Mak?

Whatever it is, I try to look at this episode positively. I believe that Dear Hubby and I were not meant to be on that plane that day. Maybe our seats were destined to be given to other poor souls on the waiting list who had more important things to do back in Alor Setar. Or perhaps I was supposed to attend to other matters that day which include :
1) Hanna’s sports day
2) Hanna’s Anugerah cemerlang UPSR
3) Hasya/Haifa school PIBG
4) Ghazal Party Queen play at Taman Budaya... (another charity event by Killerbatch...remember the Donni story? I’ll blog about this later)

So I'm good. Mesti ada hikmah dari setiap kejadian, right?

Hasya's Birthday Celebration

2009-11-28T13:33:00.004+08:00

First of all, Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha to all Muslims. We didn’t balik kampong, so it was a quiet hari raya at home... cooking and spending quality time with the kids :)

Ok, what was I planning to write earlier? Oh, about last weekend... it was a blast! My children had fun, especially my Hasya who celebrated her 10th birthday on Saturday November 21st. She actually requested to have a mini birthday celebration at home – with her small group of school friends. So we just thought, why not, after all it was her birthday and the school break’s already here. She invited around ten of her girlfriends to come over, with Hanna and Haifa inviting a few of theirs too.

That morning, Dear Hubby took the girls and Haziq the to the community complex where Haziq & Husna’s School Sports event was held. I had to give it a miss since I haven’t finished cooking. The girls later came home and told me that the event was a fun one, and Dear Hubby said he was amazed that there were so many volunteers to help with the special kids. Alhamdulillah.

Hasya’s party started at 2pm. After having their lunch (Fettuchine Carbonara and Baked Tuna Pasta etc) the girls went to Hasya’s room and had their temporary tattoos. The butterflies were a hit among the girls.

Make-up time was next.... they started painting each other’s face with eyeshadows, lipsticks, blushers and compact powders I bought the day before at Elianto. Little did I know that they were not interested in painting pretty faces, only clown faces... Habis patah semua lipsticks! But it was worth it, especially when you could hear their laughters and gigglings. Girls!!

Then it was the event that they have been waiting for – the Water Balloon war! From using balloons, the girls then started using the pails and the water hose! Imagine the laughters and screamings the nearly 20 lil girls made... you'd think that someone has fallen off the garden swing! It was great fun watching them enjoying themselves :)

The girls later had their shower and tried the treadmill. It was pretty chaotic, with around ten girls using the treadmill at a time, LOL! Then it was the cake cutting ceremony. The cake done by Lea Oven was admired by all of the girls.

Cantik kan? Sedap pun sedap!

See Edward and Bella all ready to be consumed :)

Towards Maghrib time, the girls had their cupcake decorating session. They did all the mixing, coloring and decorating by themselves. Very creative girls, they were!

The last of the girls were sent home at 8pm. I was dead tired by then, but watching Hasya’s contented face, I knew she had a great time.

The next day, Hanna’s two friends came over for a sleepover. We brought all the girls out for a celebration dinner (Hasya’s Birthday and Hanna’s UPSR) at Sunway Pyramid TGI and later watched Disney’s A Christmas Carol. Didn’t like it that much, Dear Hubby actually slept halfway thru the movie!

So tonite we’re watching New Moon. The girls can’t wait to see Edward and Jacob. Hopefully their father won’t fall asleep again!

Congratulations Hanna!

2009-11-24T00:42:00.001+08:00

I’ve neglected this blog for quite some time now. There were so many happenings that have been written unfinished and left in draft without being published. I just have to publish them one of these days.... will try to get them done....errr... before the end of the year!!

(A simple case of a true procrastinator procrastinates of procrastinating..LOL!)

Ok, to last week’s story – the UPSR result was out on the 19th, and Alhamdulillah my Hanna got 5As! It came as quite a surprise.... and we were very happy for her, that’s for sure. Dear Hubby who was on leave that day fetched both Hanna and Haifa from school, picked me up from my training class, and had a small lunch celebration at the Italliannies. We later watched 2012 at Sunway Pyramid – with Hanna and Haifa still in their school uniforms!

A note for Hanna :
Hanna,
Ibu and Ayah are so proud of you, sayang. Don’t forget to always do your best in all areas you’ve chosen. We’ll be there to support you come what may. And Hanna, remember that there are more mountains to be climbed later on in life... Climb each at your own pace, reach out for its peak, and expect the unexpected – bruises and skinned knees - along the way.

Congratulations Hanna! We love you!

My Sweet Husna is 15 today!

2009-11-11T00:05:00.003+08:00

This is my sweet Husna.

She’s in the world of her own, in the place she created when she was over a year old. That’s the place where she can be who she wants to be. Do whatever she wants to do. We tried so many times to bring her out of her comfortable realm but she was persistent. To stay there and see the outside world thru the glass wall she built over 13 years ago.

Just like any other Autistic child, she needs that wall to feel safe.

And just like any other mother of an Autistic child, I tried so many times to break that wall...

...to get her to this side of the world where she can be safe with us.... and try ....oh so many things! Like how it feels to hold an egg that has been left in a jar of vinegar for a week. Or what happens if you glue a Rubic’s cube together. Or how does it feel when you step on a snail in the garden, barefooted. Or fight over the Astro remote control with your siblings. Or race to get the prettiest cupcake on the tray. Or how fun it is to color each other’s nails with henna....

My Husna's trying hard, I know. I know this because I understand what’s going on in that magical mind of hers. And she too understands. She smiles whenever she hears her name. She’ll run and hug me if I called her name. She’d lie in my arms when I asked her to.... and sleep like a baby afterwards. And I'd feel contented, just by having her in my arms and watching her sleep... so innocent and pure. My Ahli Syurga.

Today my sweet baby turns 15, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY Husna sayang!! Remember that our love has no boundaries. Ibu and Ayah will always pray that you’ll someday stay on this side of the wall with us, so that you know that in this world, only the sky is the limit.

Happy Birthday! We all love you sayang!

18 Years Into Forever

2009-11-02T00:35:00.006+08:00

It was August 1990 when I came back home from the States, after graduating and working there for a year. Months of spoiling myself followed - with Mak’s cooking, sleeping and enjoying my worry-free days. I however had to get my feet back on the ground when I got this job in KLJ, to report duty on February 18 1991.

I remember clearly the day when I first saw him. The memory so fresh, as fresh as the air in my garden after a heavy downpour. So clear that I could actually feel and watch the episode as it unfolds itself right before my eyes.

It’s true when people say that some moments in our lives come with vibrant colors and shades. This surely is one of my mine.

It was my third day of working when I first met him. I was walking along the office aisle when I saw this unfamiliar guy walking my way. I could swear that I heard my heart thumping fast as he was approaching me. What’s happening to me, I wondered, and as I struggled to keep the beat back to its normal tempo, I failed... my heart actually skipped a beat, when our eyes locked.

He came to my cubicle, normally during the end of the lunch hours, when our co-workers were not back yet. We’d talk until the first footstep was heard, then he’d leave. We were discreet about this, especially when I was new and he certainly didn’t want his colleagues to know about this, yet.

By the fifth month, we realized that the story of a man and a woman, became the story of OURS. And so we got engaged in July 1991.

And became husband and wife today, 18 years ago.

It’s only been 18 years, but I just can’t imagine my life without him - my rock and foundation. These 18 years of going through life’s ups and downs. How we spent hours making a decision that we hoped could change our child’s life, only to realize a year later that we made the wrong one. How we comfort each other with unspoken words. How we learned to accept fate, and welcome possibilities into our minds.

And what it means to be unconditionally loved.

We learned a great deal, Dear Hubby and I, even when cryings and laughters became synonyms. I’m so blessed to have him and the six beautiful children. Syukur Alhamdulillah. And a great life to be in. A life that allows you to float in the air so freely, fly into the moonlight so pale, run towards the sunset so full of uncertanties, or simply walk on the clouds where your heart is filled with utter joy. I’ve been there. And I can be there whenever I want to, coz I know he’ll be there to hold my hands, walking this life together. Or catch me when I fall.

Abang,
Happy Anniversary! I’m so thankful to Allah for giving me you. The one who completes me. Alhamdulillah.

Happy Birthday Haziq!

2009-10-20T07:33:00.001+08:00

Today’s my only boy’s birthday. His 16th! It seems only yesterday that I had him in my arms the first time. Oh.. I could still remember how it was when he didn’t cry when he was born... The ruckus made in the delivery room... And the time spent without my baby by my side for he had to be monitored and placed in SCUBU since it was a forceps delivery.

And I remember writing an entry for his 15th birthday last year. It’s been a year already? I’m amazed at how time realllly flies!

My Birthday Boy. My Haziq. My Firstborn. My Ahli Syurga. My Special One who’s 16 today. Being special, he doesn’t ask for birthday presents. He’ll be happy just by listening to his sisters singing the Happy Birthday song tonite when we cut the cake. Haziq will then have one or two pieces of cake amidst the gigglings and laughters his sisters will make...

He’s my Haziq who never demand anything except for us to fulfill his routine schedule and most of all – our LOVE and AFFECTION.. And he gets loads of them.... Alhamdulillah.

Haziq sayang,
I know there are so many things you wanted to say to me if only you were able to express them all out. I know that there were times when you wanted to look me in the eye and let me know a lot of things – but you just couldn’t. Believe me sayang, I heard you.. for I’m there in your mind.

And you’re there in my heart and... soul.

Happy Birthday my brave boy! We love you!

Swimming Girls

2009-10-12T13:45:00.001+08:00

What hectic weekends we had in this Syawal month! I feel as if Raya was 2 months ago. Never get to fulfill all open house Raya invitations, since we were really busy with the kids’ activities.

Hanna, Hasya and Haifa were frustrated since they couldn’t take their taekwondo tests yesterday. It was because they’ve missed their classes during Ramadhan and the tests were conducted on the same weekend that they were having their swimming competition, which was held on Saturday and Sunday, 10-11 October.

So the red belts will have to wait for at least another 3 months.

This time, the swimming event was Kejohanan Jaguh Renang Kompleks Sukan Negara which was held at the National Aquatic Center, Bukit Jalil. The girls participated again, just for the fun of it. It was quite hard especially when they didn’t go for their training during Ramadhan. I’ve told them that the important thing was the spirit and the experience gained.

Hasya climbing out of the pool after her 50m backstroke

The girls waiting for their heat numbers for 50m butterfly to be called. Haifa tengah nervous tu!

Hanna in 100m freestyle

Haifa readying for her 100m freestyle

Somehow this pic reminded me of leaping frogs! LOL!

They participated in most of the events they’ve been registered in, except for 100m backstroke which Hanna chickened-out the last minute... hahaha... Kesian jugak, especially when they didn’t learn much on two swimming strokes - backstroke and butterfly. Dear Hubby and I just encouraged them to participate, stressing on the fact that Bukit Jalil is like their home ground since they spend 4-day a week there for swimming and squash.

So I was stationed there for two days, and without Dear Hubby on Sunday since he had his high-school class reunion in PJ. The girls had so much fun especially during between-events and lunch hour when they could play with their friends in the pools. Sampai nak luruh jantung watching those other small kids playing around the diving areas - diving... mak aaaiii.. tingginya!

Haifa in her playful mood

Everything went well except for that big, fat migraine that I had on Saturday. The weather was just too plain hot lah. Felt like jumping into the pool with the girls to cool off! Lucky we (the mothers) had a nice spot to spread our mats on Sunday... and the cool breeze really made you wanna sleep... Nice.

Raya oh Raya.....

2009-09-29T13:02:00.006+08:00

I hope it’s still not too late to wish everybody - SELAMAT HARI RAYA and MAAF ZAHIR BATIN! I hope everyone had a wonderful week of Raya with family, relatives and friends.

This year is Kluang’s turn for us. Since there’s no airport there in Kluang, we couldn’t ‘post’ the kids home via air thus we had to travel in two cars. My first time driving this far tau! I was lucky that the traffic was good to and fro. Alhamdulillah.

The Projek Bunga Api on that malam Raya was great. The nephews, nieces and my kids were the project members.. and don’t forget the project manager and directors too ok.... Tua-tua pun main Thunder Clap and Thunder King..hahahaha! Meriah betul main bunga api kat kampung! You could see and hear mercun everywhere! It took us around 3-4 hours to finish everything off. It was fun. My Haziq especially, had so much fun.

Haifa watching the bunga api

Haziq, Hasya, Hanna, Hanis, Haifa and the maids sempat posing sambil main bunga api at their nenek's house di malam raya

My Hanis celebrated her 4th birthday on the Raya day itself. “Hari Raya Happy Birthday Hanis” was her mantra a few days prior to the 20th. Brought her to Secret Recipe that morning and asked her to choose the cake herself, and she chose the one with cherries on top... what else, the Black Forestlah. That 'lil girl blushed when all her siblings, aunties, uncles and cousins sang her the birthday song. She was happy to add more Barbies into her collection. And this time Miss Barbie comes with Master Ken ;)
Nampak sangat muka nervous. Segan sebab ramai orang kot....

My five girls - Haifa, Husna, Hanna, Hasya and Hanis in their Baju Boria di pagi raya di rumah Nenek

We went to Pontian on the 2nd day of raya to visit my Pak Chaq, who is my mother’s eldest sibling. What was supposed to be a less-than-two-hour trip became more-than-three-hour trip. Traffic punyalah teruk near Ayer Hitam and Benut! But it was all worth it. The hospitality and company was great, and the food was A+++ I tell you! My Mak Chaq’s really a great cook. I’m sure if she were to open a restaurant, mesti tak menang tangan punya! I wonder why my cuz Che Uda doesn’t gain weightlah...hmmhh... Kena mintak petua nih!

My 86yo Pak Chaq. My Mak - his youngest sibling- would surely want to see this pic

This is my Mak Chaq yang terror masak!

Hanis with her Kak Asma'

Came back to home sweet home on Wednesday the 23rd. Oh.. doing the laundry took us two days to finally wash and dry everything, from the baju rayas to comforters. Lucky that those two days saw the sun in its fiercely hot state.

That's why I'm currently all tanned-up. No, not because of doing the laundry, it was due to the hours spent outside the house on the weekend. Hah, buat lagi gardening tengah panas!

September - The Month of Birthdays

2009-09-17T21:40:00.007+08:00

UPSR is over on the 10th September and I’m totally at ease now. Not that I’ve been helping my Hanna with the revisions that much, but the suspense was there all the time. Now that it was over- phew.... LEGA! Time for Birthdays!

Here are the September Birthday Boys and Girls:
14th – Hanna’s 12th
16th – Dear Hubby’s 45th
20th – Hanis’s 4th
24th – My brother - Benjie’s 47th

Hanna’s Birthday:
So what’s my Hanna doing now? She’s enjoying every merdeka moment at home. Especially on the 14th – when it was her 12th birthday.

She got her presents the day before, but I still owe her something – that she could get her first experience in having her mani-pedi. Hasya and Haifa were home, but since it was supposed to be only Ibu-Hanna’s day out, I didn’t allow them to tag along. However, as we were leaving the house, I saw Haifa crying in the living room. Alahaaaii.. kesianlah pulak, so I said – OK lah.. Hasya and Haifa cepat siap!

We left for OU, and since I’ve already signed up with Missy Nails last year, I took them there. The girls were so excited to have their nails done. Hasya and Haifa were only having their manicure while Hanna and I would have our mani-pedi.

Hanna's having her pedicure

Hasya tengah syok

Excitednya budak pompuan nih!

Then off to MPH (as usual) and they got their books.

Takpa, ambik, ambik...Ibu belanja :)

I’ve already anticipated that it would be a long day in OU, so I made the reservations earlier at Delicious – just in case we wouldn’t make it for iftar at home. And I was right.

Here are my favorites – Fried Mushrooms and Spaghetti Bolognese with Seafood.

Sambal Udang served in jantung pisang... good idea kan?

The birthday Guy and Gal

Later that night, as usual, we had the cake-cutting ceremony.

Here’s Hanna with her birthday cake

Hanna, Ibu and Ayah’s do’a for you – May your life is filled with all greatness and happiness - outstanding performances, beautiful imaan, unclouded health and flourishing rezeki. Semoga Hanna menjadi anak yang solehah dan sentiasa berbudi-pekerti luhur. Ameen...

Dear Hubby's Birthday:
Yesterday was my man’s 45th birthday. I remember when we first met, he was only 26+. Gosh... how time flies!

Abang,
Have I told you lately that I love you
Have I told you there's no one else above you
Fill my heart with gladness
Take away all my sadness
Ease my troubles that's what you do

For the morning sun in all its glory
Greets the day with hope and comfort too
You fill my life with laughter
And somehow you make it better
Ease my troubles that's what you do
There's a love that's divine
And it's yours and it's mine like the sun
And at the end of the day
We should give thanks and pray
To the one, to the one...

Happy Birthday Abang. I love you...

52nd Independence Day of Malaysia

2009-08-31T00:28:00.001+08:00

Merdeka! This is the 52nd year we're celebrating Independence Day. We've changed so much since 1957, haven't we?

My hope and do'a is for Malaysia to be more prosperous and peaceful, and her citizens be spared from all the agonies that are such a norm in the world today.

May all of us continue to live harmoniously regardless of race, culture, ethnic and religion.

Long Live Malaysia!

Girls Having Fun - Swim and Squash

2009-08-21T14:02:00.005+08:00

Hanna has been asking me to see the pictures taken during the swimming competition held on Aug 8-9 and the session with Nicol David on Aug 15. I haven’t shown them yet since I was pretty busy with... well so many things. So I told her to just check my blog today to see some of the pix.

So here goes, Hanna, an entry with only pictures.

These 6 photos are taken on Aug 8-9. Event: SportsExcel-Milo-NSC-ASUM Junior Swimming Circuit Venue: KL Swimming Complex, Bandar Tun Razak, Cheras.

Haifa - having fun before her 100m Freestyle event

Hasya - 100m Freestyle

Hanna - 100m Freestyle

Hasya (lane 3) and Haifa (lane 5) - 50m Breaststroke

Hanna - 50m Freestyle

Hanna - 50m Breaststroke

These 9 photos are taken on Aug 15 at Bukit Jalil National Squash Center:

World No1 showing her skills

Nicol giving the kids some tips

Feeding session with Nicol - Hasya's 2nd from left

Hasya and Nicol during feeding session

Hasya's turn - hit the ball ok, not pick the ball...hehehe

Hasya waiting for her turn with butterflies in her tummy

Q&A session with Nicol

Nicol autographing Haifa's t-shirt

Haifa, Hasya and Hanna with the Queen of Squash

OK Hanna? I’ll copy the rest of them (hundreds!) into your external harddisk later, ok?

Salam Ramadhan

2009-08-21T10:18:00.003+08:00

Salam Ramadhan to all Muslims.

May we be given the strength, comfort, serenity and patience to perform extra duties to get the bonuses that this holy month has to offer.

And may this Ramadhan be a better Ramadhan than the previous ones to all of us!

I'm 43

2009-08-18T08:30:00.011+08:00

First off, I’d like to thank all my family, relatives and friends who sent me Birthday wishes and prayers via Facebook, emails, SMSes and calls. Thank you sooo much.... I really appreciate your thoughts and do’as :)

Yeap, I turned 43 three days ago, 15th August. And Alhamdulillah, I feel great about it. I feel truly blessed for being given the chance to continue my journey in life with my loved ones for the past years and many years to come, insyaallah. And I pray that the life of my loved ones and friends be filled with Good health, Happiness, Love, Success, Umur panjang, great Rezeki and showered with Berkat and Imaan. May all of us be blessed in all areas in life. Ameen...

OK, what did I do on my birthday?

Well, the Saturday started off early in the day with Dear Hubby and I doing our marketing at Pasar Tani Kelana Jaya. Then went to my office to get the birthday gifts I left in my office drawer for my maid Tini who happened to share the same birthday with me.... only she’s 20 years younger...hahaha... Rushed home to fetch the girls for their taekwondo class, left them with the Master, did some errands and had brunch at the ever-so-packed restaurant.

I saw something I haven’t eaten for years – pulut+kelapa-parut+ikan masin. Not my favorite though... but I suddenly had this vision of my Mak’s cooking and this was one of the menus she‘d usually do when requested by Ayah. I’m not a pulut eater, so I couldn’t finish it. While pushing the plate away, I suddenly went blurry eyed. Teringat Mak pulak ...huhuhu...

Went back to the complex to get the girls, got home, showered etc and left for Bukit Jalil National Squash Center to meet up with the Squash Queen– Nicol David! Hanna, Hasya and Haifa were so excited to see the World’s no1 (I'll put some pix in my next post).

Went to Amcorp Mall straight from Bukit Jalil to check out some ‘things’ for my birthday gifts. Didn’t materialize tho’, instead we ended up buying some DVDs and had an early dinner at Salero Negori.

Came home, bought 2 cakes (one for me and one for Tini the maid), showered etc and had the ‘cake cutting ceremony’ at 9pm.

I was dead tired when my head hit the pillow that night. But I couldn’t help smiling when I realized how great it was to be able to do all these. Syukur came to mind. Syukur Alhamdulillah for the opportunities given to me - to taste the sweetness or the bitterness in what life has to offer, with great companies to share them with.

(I think I didn’t imagine having a few more of those crow’s-feet when the clock struck 12 to mark the end of my special day, but I'm pretty sure I fell asleep that night wearing a smile).

Oh, here’s an excerpt from the 14-A4pages birthday ‘card’ given by my cheeky Haifa:
You are my Stars
You are my Heart
You are my Love
You are my Moon
You are my Flowers
You are my Butterflies
You are my Sun
You are my Dragonflies
You are my Diamond
You are my Camera --- aiik?
You are my Everything
(Ibu, masa Haifa punya birthday, please belikan icecream cake. Selepas tu, belikan Rabbit, Cat, Hamster, Parrot, Bird, Fish, Burung Pipit and Frog)

LOL!

Segalanya Kerana Donni

2009-08-12T13:45:00.003+08:00

Kosmo - August 12, 2009

Oleh SUBASHINI RAJANDRA
subashini.rajandra@kosmo.com.my

Sekumpulan bekas pelajar Maktab Rendah Sains Mara Kulim, Kedah terus gigih berjuang mengumpul dana sebanyak RM250,000 demi kepentingan ‘anak-anak tersayang’ di Kiulu, Sabah.

Begini bermulanya cerita yang ingin disampaikan. Pada 20 Mac 2007, akhbar Daily Express News di Sabah memaparkan sebuah artikel yang cukup menyayat hati. Sesiapa sahaja yang membacanya dapat membayangkan kedaifan hidup sebuah keluarga yang terpaksa kais pagi makan pagi, kais petang makan petang untuk terus bernyawa.

Kisah itu menceritakan bagaimana enam orang adik-beradik dan ibu mereka sekadar 'kenyang' dengan menjamah bubur nasi dan sayur kangkung. Menyingkap kisah hidup mendiang Donni John Duin, 11, dia ialah seorang anak yang pendiam dan tidak bermasalah. Penderitaan yang terpaksa dilalui sejak bapanya disumbat masuk ke penjara akibat dadah begitu menyentuh hati.

Menurut ibunya, Hina Joloni, 39, setiap kali pulang dari sekolah, wajah Donni begitu murung kerana tertekan dengan ejekan dan cemuhan rakan sekelas. Menyarung pakaian yang kusam dan hanya mampu menikmati sajian ringkas, Donni merasai keperitan yang teramat pedih.

Seorang kanak-kanak di Kiulu, Sabah merenung masa depan yang tidak pasti ekoran kesukaran datang ke sekolah.

Kali pertama, dia cuba membunuh diri tetapi gagal. Namun dalam percubaan kedua, Hina menemui anaknya yang sudah tidak bernyawa. "Apabila saya menegur perbuatannya yang cuba membunuh diri pada kali pertama, Donni memberitahu bahawa dia sanggup berbuat demikian bagi meringankan beban keluarga."

"Setidak-tidaknya, kurang seorang anak untuk diberi makan dan bahagian makanannya boleh dibahagi kepada adik-beradik lain," luah Hina mengenangkan kata-kata anak kesayangannya dengan penuh hiba.

Sebaik sahaja membaca kisah itu, entah berapa ramai daripada kita mampu mengimbau kembali kisah pilu tersebut. Mungkin ia sudah lenyap daripada ingatan kita ketika ini tetapi bukan bagi Raja Ali Raja Othman, Hamidi Baharuddin, Kamaruddin Yusop, Noor Bakri Ahmad, Mashitah Puteh, AR. Meor Wazir Zul'Aidin dan rakan-rakan mereka yang lain.

Raja Ali berada di bumi Sabah semasa kejadian pilu yang menimpa Donni berlaku. Selepas mengadakan perjumpaan dengan Sabah Credit Corporation (SCC) atas dasar kerja, beliau berbual dengan Pengurus Besar SCC, Datuk Vincent YK Pung. Ketika itu jugalah, isu Donni dibincangkan.

Hina Joloni manakala Donni (gambar kecil).

Di Sabah, hampir 5,000 remaja dilaporkan terpaksa berhenti sekolah sebelum sempat menduduki peperiksaan Penilaian Menengah Rendah (PMR). Bukan kerana tidak berminat tetapi dibelenggu kemiskinan dari generasi demi generasi. Selain itu, mereka juga menghadapi kesukaran perjalanan berulang-alik dari sekolah yang terletak jauh dari rumah.

SCC menerusi kelab sukannya sentiasa menjalankan aktiviti tanggungjawab sosial korporat seperti mendirikan asrama sekolah dan surau di Sabah. "Pada tahun 2007, saya difahamkan sebanyak lapan buah sekolah masih menunggu mendapatkan bantuan membina asrama," kata Raja Ali ketika ditemui Kosmo! di Kuala Lumpur.

"Sebagai seorang bekas pelajar yang pernah menikmati faedah kemudahan asrama, saya meminta Vincent supaya menyediakan asrama di sekolah yang benar-benar memerlukan di Sabah. Sekolah itu akan menjadi projek 'kami' yang diusahakan secara bersatu padu," ujarnya sambil merujuk 'kami' adalah rakan-rakan sekolahnya yang popular dengan gelaran Killerbatch.

Killerbatch merupakan sekumpulan pelajar Maktab Rendah Sains Mara Kulim, Kedah yang pernah tinggal di asrama maktab tersebut dari tahun 1979 sehingga 1983. Mujur disediakan sebuah tempat tinggal yang berdekatan dengan tempat pembelajaran, mereka tidak perlu risau tentang cuaca panas atau hujan sekali gus berpeluang belajar dalam suasana selesa dan tenang. Berdasarkan pengalaman manis itu, Killerbatch memahami betapa susahnya kehidupan bagi sesetengah kanak-kanak di Sabah tanpa asrama.

Jika musim banjir, sebahagian jambatan gantung ini hanyut dibawa arus sungai.

Pada hujung tahun 2008, SMK Tun Fuad Stephens di Kiulu, Sabah muncul dalam senarai sekolah yang menantikan pembinaan asrama. Sebanyak 100 daripada 1,400 pelajar di sekolah itu memerlukan asrama dengan kadar segera.

Sebahagian besar para pelajar ini berjalan kaki selama dua hingga tiga jam merentasi hutan dan sungai menuju ke sekolah. Menurut ahli Killerbatch, Megat Zulkarnain Mohd Nazri, dia pernah terserempak dengan seorang pelajar tingkatan lima, Jefri di jambatan Poturidong, Kiulu yang bangun seawal pukul 4 pagi agar tidak terlambat ke sekolah.

"Apabila dilanda banjir besar, sebahagian jambatan gantung ini hanyut," katanya.

SMK Tun Fuad Stephens mempunyai sebuah asrama desa tetapi ia telahpun dihuni oleh 100 pelajar. Dengan 16 orang ditempatkan dalam sebuah bilik, ia menyukarkan Guru Besar, Marsha Anthony Bongkok dan wakil Persatuan Ibu Bapa dan Guru (PIBG), Joisin Rumut mencari ruang kosong. Ada juga yang terpaksa berkongsi katil dengan adik sendiri meskipun sempit.

DARI kiri: Hamidi, Kamaruddin, Bakri, Meor dan Raja Ali. Duduk di hadapan ialah Mashitah.

Mengetahui keadaan genting yang dialami di sekolah ini sejak bertahun-tahun, Raja Ali, Hamidi, Kamaruddin, Bakri, Mashitah dan Meor sepakat meminta ahli-ahli Killerbatch lain mengutip derma yang disasarkan berjumlah RM250,000.

Secara kebetulan, tahun ini menyaksikan sambutan ulang tahun Killerbatch yang ke-30. Pada majlis keraian yang diadakan pada 4 Februari 2009 di Taman Ekuestrian Putrajaya, ramai hadirin termakan pujukan mereka. "Bagi menjadikan acara ini lebih bermakna selain bersuka-ria, sesi kutipan derma dilakukan pada hari itu juga."

"Proses itu diteruskan sehingga bulan Mei lalu apabila kami berjaya mengumpul sebanyak RM57,426," ujar Bakri yang kerap mengadakan pertemuan dengan ahli-ahli jawatankuasa projek Asrama Donni.

Sebagai ibu bapa, mereka semua amat memahami kesegeraan bagi membina Asrama Donni sebelum bermulanya sesi persekolahan tahun 2010.

"Walaupun kami sibuk dengan kerjaya masing-masing, berulang-alik ke luar negara dan menyediakan yang terbaik buat keluarga sendiri, kami komited untuk menjayakan projek sulung ini dalam apa juga cara sekalipun," kata Bakri lagi sambil disokong oleh Mashitah.

Usaha murni yang diperjuangkan oleh Killerbatch ini mampu mengubah nasib pelajar-pelajar di Kiulu, Sabah.

Pada 16 Mei 2009, satu sejarah manis terpahat apabila majlis penyerahan cek bernilai RM57,426 kepada pihak SCC diadakan. Kutipan itu digunakan sepenuhnya untuk kerja-kerja pembinaan Asrama Donni di SMK Tun Fuad Stephens, Kiulu, Sabah. Seramai 10 delegasi yang terdiri daripada Raja Ali dan rakan-rakannya datang ke Kiulu bagi menyaksikan majlis pecah tanah pada keesokan harinya.

Turut dijemput hadir ialah seorang guru yang mengajar pada era Killerbatch iaitu Teh Sharifudin Abdullah. "Dahulu mereka terkenal dengan kenakalan yang memeningkan kepala guru. Sekarang, mereka sudah berjaya dalam bidang masing-masing dan saya bangga dengan anak-anak didikan saya yang menyahut konsep 1Malaysia yang dilaungkan oleh Perdana Menteri, Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak," kata Teh menerusi perbualan telefon dengan Kosmo!.

"Killerbatch, rata-ratanya terdiri daripada mereka yang beragama Islam manakala SMK Tun Fuad Stephens mengisi hampir 70 peratus pelajar beragama Kristian. Inilah yang dikatakan keikhlasan yang lahir merentasi agama, bangsa dan sempadan geografi," tambahnya.

*************************************************************

My heart goes out to the children of the remote areas such as Kiulu, who spend hours just to get to their schools every day. So sad... to keep even one child in school before he could be a drop-out is an important milestone indeed.

And here we are.... with our children in their cozy rides to school and lunchboxes full of nutritious food.

Sedihkan?

It’s great that my wonderful friends from Killerbatch embarked on this Kulim to Kiulu project. Although I’m not actively involved, I’m always here giving them the support. So far, insyaallah we’ll get another RM50K from TuneTalk Chief Talker Contest in which a Killerbatch rep constested and won. Next will be the Charity Art Exhibition with IMissHimSoMuch. Later will be Ghazal Party Queen (theater) in December 2009. And I guess it doesn't stop there!

Let’s just hope and pray that we’ll get enough donations to complete the building of Asrama Donni.

Mak's 67th Birthday

2009-08-09T22:03:00.004+08:00

Dearest Mak,
Happy 67th Birthday Mak! I hope you have a wonderful day today. Just came back from my teambuilding trip... I really wish I could talk to you earlier this morning, but you know lah - the schedule was too full.

Mak,
Thank you Mak. Thank you for being the best mother that one could ever wish for. Thank you for being with us thru thick and thin. Thank you for lifting us up to your shoulder when we couldn't see. Thank you for the sacrifice you made when you left your career simply because you wanted to take care of us. Thank you.. thank you Mak... thank you sooo much for everything.

(You're so full of Patience, Love and Understanding that sometimes I wonder why I can't have at least a quarter of those traits in me?)

Mak,
My wish for you on your birthday will always be - for you have a great health, a world full of serenity in imaan and mountains of love, happiness and laughters...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAK! I LOVE YOU!

Happy 48th Wedding Anniversary!

2009-08-06T07:58:00.014+08:00

Ayah dan Mak tersayang,
Dari hati yang tulus ikhlas, Ja do’akan semoga Ayah dan Mak dipelihara di dalam kebahagiaan dunia dan akhirat. Semoga segala yang terbaik - keimanan, kesenangan rezeki, kasih-sayang dan kesihatan – dikurniakan untuk Ayah dan Mak yang sentiasa menjadi tonggak untuk kami, anak-anak.
Dan semoga kehidupan yang dikongsi bersama selama 48 tahun (dan tahun-tahun yang mendatang) akan dirahmati Allah sentiasa.

Tahniah Ayah dan Mak.... Selamat Hari Ulangtahun Perkahwinan yang ke 48!

Anakanda sekeluarga,

Away From Home

2009-08-02T21:58:00.002+08:00

Would you believe me when I say that after all these years (after working with the same company for more than 18 years, and married for nearly 18 years), I only left the comfort of my home (outstation) for less than the digits on both of my hands combined?

Whenever I was involved in a project, and when the time came for me to go see the customers, there would be a good soul in my project team who would gladly take my place. And I’d be more than happy to switch places. Although sometimes I thought that it would be nice to see some new faces and places, I felt that I’d be needed more at home, especially when the children were smaller and my hyperemesis gravidarum was at its peak.

Hmmhh.... no wonder I susah naik pangkat.. LOL!

Anyway, that’s why I’m a bit worried now. I’m gonna get myself occupied this coming weekend with the tasks of removing those leeches from my arms and legs and flying like a fox and building those rafts by the sea and counting the number of mosquito bites on my bare skin and wrestling a Burmese python and hunting those wild boars....

I know I exaggerated a 'lil there.... but ... yeap, I’m going for my company teambuilding this coming weekend. For 2 nights, 7-9 Aug. Urrgghh!

I know it’s not a big deal to some people who are so used to travelling, but it is to me. I’m now a confirmed IT nerd, who can’t leave the comfort of her desk/home for an adventure out there in a jungle so green and the sea so blue. I’m so ashamed of being a pessimist, but I can’t help feeling that this is soooo NOT ME now. As a teenager, I’ve climbed a few hills, went thru the jungle a few times and drank the cold sweet water from the streams, thanks to those camping trips I made when I was in MRSM.

But now? At 43? Alamaaak... lecehnya!

Since it’s compulsory to attend, I’ll have to go but I’ll be missing Hanna, Hasya and Haifa’s swimming competition in Cheras which will be held on the 8th and 9th of Aug. Kesiannya the girls.... I won’t be there to cheer for them and watch them compete.

Sigh.

And please... oh please don’t make it rain there in Lumut. I hate those pacat and lintah!

My Ramblings on Shoes

2009-07-26T07:02:00.002+08:00

I love buying shoes, ever since I was a student back in the States. But my hectic lifestyle as a student (and worker – in the University’s Bookstore) would prevent me from wearing anything else other than my Nike or Reebok most of the time. So, I’d only resort to only window-shop whenever I went to the malls. I was used to having to swallow my saliva in a style that only Pepsi drinkers would know – when the gulping sound could be heard from miles away! And I’d be drooling at the same time, while my hands in my jeans pocket trying to count the greens that I had. That happened only when I saw a pair of something that really caught my eyes – yes – SHOES!

That was why I loved summers in California. I got to wear my sandals to the beach. Or went shopping in them. But since I never skipped taking summer classes during my 4 years there, I’d still have to wear my University sweaters, shorts, my worn Reebok and the JanSport backpack to school.

It was when I graduated and started working in a mall that I began my new hobby – buying shoes! Getting my first paycheck in the real world (the University Bookstore job as the Price Changer wasn’t really considered as one, ok?), saw me spending my dough on two pair of sandals! At that time I still couldn’t afford to buy branded shoes, so I practically adopted Payless ShoeSource as my buddy-store. Since I worked in a mall, every lunch I’d walk around and never missed trying a few shoes (and most of the time, buying) at the store. That was my era in high-heels/stilettos!

I still remember those leather sandals from Brazil. Loved them. They were so comfortable and durable.

You see, the major difference between those people selling shoes in the States and Malaysia is the way they treat their customers. There, those Uncle Sam’s people would ask you to sit down on the stool, hold your feet and put the shoes on for you. Tak geli pun. Unlike here (oklah, maybe not all).

Imagine this – you’re a mom with 4 small kids in tow and one crying baby in your arms asked for a pair of shoes for your no4. The salesperson would come and open up the box and shove the shoes to you. You’d then have to squat down (with the crying baby still) and tried several times to put the shoes on the no4 who’d be running here and there. And you’d then scream your lungs out for her to come and stand still so that you could make her put them on. The baby in your arms would cry even harder.

And guess what the salesperson would be doing all the while? Taking the dirt out of her fingernails or staring into nothing while playing with her hair, or simply trying to pop her oozing pimples, pretending she didn’t hear a thing! And when you ask for her help, she’d say that it’s the right size and it fits your no4 like a glove. Seeshhhhh...

Ok, you don't have to imagine being that mother. She was me!

My patience was tested again recently. Since I'm currently into wedges, I saw one pair of Clarks in the Curve a few weeks back and had been trying to get my hands on them... but to no avail.

** This is Siver Ash in tan leather**

I went to a few Clarks store but couldn’t get what I wanted – it was either the size wasn’t available or the color I liked was out of stock. So one day I went to the Clarks section in OU Jusco. The Clarks salesgirl (or probably the supervisor lah judging from her ‘kerek’ness) was standing next to some boxes writing something (or pretending to). I politely asked her :
“Excuse me dik, do you have the new wedges?” (I realized that there were no new shoes on the rack.. tak stock-up ke?)
“Apa ada kat situ saja kak”, she said to me without even glancing my way.
“Apa yang latest kat sini ye dik?”, I asked again.
“Apa yang ada kat situ saja kak”, came the reply.

Hisshhh... Hangin aku satu badan! Macam nak baling kasut saja kat muka dia! But I didn’t know why I just left. I should’ve said something bitter to her.. but I guess I wasn’t in the mood for a fight.

I think there’s a blessing in all that. Last week, while in Sunway Pyramid to catch Harry Potter’s latest movie with Dear Hubby, kids and maid, I found what I was looking for! To my surprise, the Clarks store in Sunway had so many varieties to choose from. And I managed to score this one:

** This is Speed Boat in tan leather**

So practical and comfy. Love this wedges!

**Now I remember what I've forgotten to do yesterday - to sort out the 6 pairs of shoes I have in my car!

Manchester United Asia Tour 2009

2009-07-21T17:48:00.017+08:00

No, I’m not a football fan. And I don’t watch any football matches on TV except when Dear Hubby persuaded me to sit with him in front of the TV while he watched the Chelsea dudes doing their things. I know a few of the Clubs names and their players, but that was it. My knowledge on footballs stops there.

So when the second match between Malaysia XI and Manchester United was announced after the cancellation of the MU-Indonesia match, Dear Hubby was initially keen to go but somehow changed his mind later. It was when we went to Bukit Jalil on Sunday for the girls’ swimming lessons that we decided to go.

You know why? The booth selling the match tickets was right in front of the National Aquatic Center! Eh, macam, nak suruh pegi saja! Dear Hubby asked the girls, siapa nak ikut? Only Hasya was interested. So after swimming a good number of laps, took a shower and performed his solat, Dear Hubby went outside and got into the queue. It apparently took him an hour to get to the counter, and bought the 3 tickets.

After coming back from work yesterday, Hasya came to me – Ibu, I have no Baju Merah lah Ibu. I said – Oh Hasya sokong MU lah ya, not Malaysia? I only got a sengih from her. Of course I didn’t have any with MU or Nike-AIG t-shirts for her to wear, so I took out her red F1 Ferrari t-shirt. At least she got to wear it this year since we didn’t get to watch F1 last April (..huhuhu..). Anyway, Hasya’s mother decided to be neutral – so she opted for brown! Malaysia boleh, MU pun boleh!

We were running late and had to have a quick bite of 1901 hot dogs while waiting for the green at the traffic light. Managed to get to the stadium in time... and here’s the first pic we took while at the gate entrance :

Hasya, Mr and Mrs Engku Emran and Dear Hubby (cropped!)

The big screen

Malaysia XI players on the big screen

MU players on the big screen

United before the game, Owen : 4th from left

O'Shea and Berbatov

Ferdinand, Rooney and Anderson

Macheda and Evra

Fletcher and Jonny Evans

**note : I'm not sure of all the names... belasah sajalah!

"Hmmmhh... how come there are only 5 balls? I thought we brought in 50?

Malaysia XI and United - grand entrance

Malaysia XI, Malaysia Boleh!

United We Stand

The players - Malaysia XI and MU

Giggs after taking the corner

O'Shea - taking the alcohol test - walking the line ..hehe..

SexyBack... oops... Tosic's back

Seconds before Owen scored a goal. You can see my excitement juz by looking at how 'sharp' this pic is!

Owen (again) after an unsuccessful attempt

Sir Alex, the Man!

Malaysian youngsters, post-game. Okaylah tu - First game 3-2, now 2-0. Yang mahal tu experience!

We left the Stadium Nasional Bukit Jalil at 11:15pm, reached our housing area at around 11:40pm and had a late night snack at Kayu for its Roti Telur Bawang.

Conclusion : I enjoyed the game. Hasya did too. She said that she didn’t know that football game could be that interesting. Dear Hubby said that the match wasn’t as good as the first match he saw on TV on Saturday, but still, it was not bad after all ....

The Welcomed Guests 3

2009-07-09T17:48:00.011+08:00

I know I owe some friends on the story of the progress of my welcomed guests – the bird(s).

Remember the entries on the two eggs? And the nestlings? Well, on one scorching hot day in May, one of the lil birds died. Apparently the nestling couldn’t survive the heat since the nest was facing the beastly hot evening sun on that May 13. My maid Nani took the dead bird and buried it on the side of the road. Poor birdie.

So we were left with one, which was named "Spikey".

We waited for it to grow its feathers and all, and we were so amazed with the rapid changes it made. The feathers seemed to grow like an inch a day!

The first four pix were taken on May 15.

*We put it on the Golden Chain plant while it waited for its mom. Feathers are not fully grown yet

*Still waiting for Mommy...

*Mommy's finally here!

*Hanis was so excited. Her Spikey was so manja with her!

* May 17 - Spikey on Hanis's shoulder

* June 8 - Another new egg in the same nest. I'm not sure whether it came from the same couple or not. The egg is quite small compared to the old ones. I doubt it will hatch though :{

Spikey left us when he knew how to fly on May 20. But we could still hear him chirping away up on that tall tree behind our house and my Hanis would go "Pie-tee, tumb here!" Budak pelat, LOL!

My dear old friend, Che Sepachendera

2009-07-03T12:45:00.003+08:00

Thank you Google. Today I just found out that my dear old friend’s name was Che Sepachendera.

She was around 90 years old when I first saw her. I was around 6 at that time. She was old, but never frail. We bonded up pretty fast, and she became my bestfriend ever since... until I said goodbye to her when we moved out when I was 15.

You see, my family used to live in a teacher’s quarters on a school compound. Most who lived in the quarters (7 families altogether) were either working in Pejabat Pelajaran or teachers elsewhere. Like my AYAH, who taught in SAHC/KSAH from 1/6/1968 - 31/12/1980. The house that we lived in was a small one-story semi-d. There was a small river behind my house. It was located in the compound of Sekolah Rendah Tunku Abdul Halim, Kampung Baru, Alor Setar - an all-boys primary school. The whole area was fenced up in a 7-8 feet of brick wall.

And Che Sepachendera was my neighbor. The oldest one there, but no doubt the strongest one of the lot. She’d never fail me. She’d be there for me, rain or shine. I'd spend my time with her almost everyday. I adored her so much but I never bothered to know her name then. So ignorant of me.

Sigh.

My sister, brothers, girlfriends, boyfriends and I used to play with her all the time. We’d walk around her, hugging her all the way until we made one complete round. We’d sing songs, play hide-and-seek and tell ghost stories when we were with her. Somehow with her, the ghost stories seemed so real. I guess it was because she was old, and ghost stories went extra-ummph with her around.

I remember one enormous tree in the compound. A Pokok Pukul Lima -which was really humungous. We were told that the tree was hundreds of years old. The roots were so large and protruding that we loved to play on them all the time. On school days, the SRTAH boys would even climb up that tree!

We used to play in our big compound which I think had 5 buildings for classrooms, one canteen, one building for outdoor toilets, a covered space for bicycles/cars, two badminton courts, one big field, two small fields, long/high-jump sand-pit, enormous trees and some climbing areas - where we could play rounders, toi (galah panjang), roller skates, hide and seek, police and thieves, buaya-katak, lumba lari, batu tujuh, jengkek, and many other made-up games.. or simply lazing around.

Oh how I missed those days... when your mind was free and you had nothing to worry about. You laughed, played and played and only came home when it was Maghrib or when your mom called out for you.

And in all those times, this old friend of mine would watch out for us. I knew then that she also watched out for the hundreds of SRTAH boys, whom I believe worshipped her too.

That was my Che Sepachendera....
Istana Che Sepachendera to be exact.

Pictures taken from here, TQ:) This is the short write-up on her :
"The Sepachendera Palace was an old palace situated at Jalan Kampung Baru, Alor Star, also known as 'Istana Kampung Baru'. This palace was built by the late Sultan Abdul Hamid Halim Shah in 1882 for his first wife, Che Sepachendera upon his ascension to the royal throne. The architectural design of the palace has the influence of Thai architecture".

And I found an entry on her by Kotastar. TQ Pak Non :)

I cried when I first saw the pictures. There she was, looking so old and lonely... and beckoning me. Oh, how I missed her!

Goodbye MJ

2009-06-26T10:35:00.011+08:00

It's a sad day today. MJ's gone.

I first fall in ‘love’ with him when he was with Jackson 5. The song BEN was my favorite, even until now.

I had my first on-stage dance performance in MRSM Kulim - with his song Off The Wall. It was Friday Night Special2, May 1980. I was in Form 2 then.

I was always amazed at how smooth a dancer he was.

And a brilliant singer.

Goodbye MJ.

Black or White, you’ll be missed dearly.

Pesta Malam Indonesia 3

2009-06-22T22:32:00.027+08:00

Don’t ask me why we went. Tak pernah umat I pi concerts!

But somehow, on Saturday we went to Bukit Jalil for Pesta Malam Indonesia 3 and joined the crowd of bapak-bapak, ibu-ibu, mbak-mbak, om-om and many fellow Malaysians to enjoy the sounds of five Indonesian bands – Padi, Andra and the Backbone, Sheila on 7, Gigi and Dewa 19. I love Indonesian band songs, so what the heck – sekali-sekala!

Our group comprised of Dear Hubby, Hanna, Hasya, Haifa, my maid Nani, my nephew Zhafri and his friend Wafiy.

Here are some pix I took. I'll try to include the slides later :)

Duta of So7 - energetic performer & a friendly chap :

Armand of Gigi - wow, this guy was simply awesome!

Once of Dewa - love his songs :

Ahmad Dhani of Dewa - also love his songs :

And today I was on leave. Spent some time with Dear Hubby. Also did some serious gardening. There goes my manicure!

Double “Happy” Day

2009-06-21T14:05:00.008+08:00

First of all – HAPPY 45th BIRTHDAY Kak Anim!

Kak Anim, I know I’ll be late posting this today, that was why I called you after midnite just to wish you. Sorry to have woken you up from your slumber :) We were having our midnite snacks at Kayu after our outing at Bukit Jalil last nite and I wanted to be the first to wish you. But apparently your son has already beaten me to it!

So here’s wishing you the best in life – panjang umur, murah rezeki, good health and great love. May you be blessed with successful endeavors and nurtured with patience and imaan.

And you know what, I want to post one pic here. It was of you in London, Spring of 1982. I was still in Form 4 when I got this pic from you.

You were still 17+ at that time. So, what’s so special about it? It's because of the flowers there, Kak Anim. I was so enchanted with them that I put this pic on the inside of my locker. Everytime I opened the locker door, I’d envision myself being there! But that didn’t happen...hahaha... but I guess that started the love I have in flowers. (Mak started my love in plants much-much earlier). Have a great day! LOVE you!

Secondly, it’s Father’s Day today. So, Happy Father’s Day to all daddies out there!

To these important men in my life – Dear Hubby, AYAH, Bemmie, Benjie and Adik – Have a good one today!

Spending Quality Time

2009-06-16T23:45:00.007+08:00

The 2-week school holiday’s finally over. The first week was spent in the hospital and at home since my Haifa and my Hanis were still under quarantine. We had visitors - my parents, my sister and BIL who came to send my nephew off to UIA. The second week was indeed quality time spent with the children and Dear Hubby. We had a great and relaxing 3D2N at Palace of the Golden Horses Hotel. They were in the swimming pool until they changed colors!

Me? I didn’t set even one toe into the pool! And I didn’t even read a single line from the books I brought with me. I’d usually read at least one book every time we stayed at the hotel. But this time, I was just being plain lazy. I took hundreds of photos of my children in the pool and around the hotel when we had our evening walks. Most of the time I stayed on the balconies of our four units, facing the pool and watched my loved ones creating havoc with their antics :)

The kids in the pool with the maids
Watching them enjoying themselves made my heart went soft. And my whole being was blanketed with unagitated state and calmness that was very hard to explain. The breeze that played over my face carried the sound of their contagious laughters, and I sat there feeling such joy from all of that. That was a reflection of a contented life. Alhamdulillah.

My Haifa and my Hasya feeding the fish

The spots on Hasya, Haifa and Hanis’s hands, feet and mouths from Coxsackie were all gone. We brought the girls to see Night at the Museum 2 and Zac Efron’s 17 Again. Watching 17 Again really made me feel so old, and I thought – would I go back to 1983 - when I was 17 - if I were given the chance to do that? Would I make any changes in the past?

Maybe I’d appreciate my family, friends and teachers more, strategize any paths to be taken, look positively at all angles in life and... be more open by letting go of any bottled-up feelings that I had with certain people I knew then. And of course I'd study HARDER! Who knows I’d be multi-millionaire ka....hahaha!

My Hasya and my Hanis

Anyway, later in the week, we did some gardening together. Dear Hubby and I went to Sungai Buloh to get some new plants. Penuhla jugak satu kereta.

The girls helped, of course, especially my Haifa who planted weeds (read: not marijuana!), instead of getting rid of them, LOL!

School Holidays with.... Coxsackie

2009-06-01T22:53:00.012+08:00

(Updated : pictures of spots on hands and feet as I've been asked to show how HFM disease looks like...)

Last week on Monday, my Hasya came to me and showed a blister on her tongue.
“Sakitlah Ibu”, she complained.

“Maybe Hasya tergigit kot. It’s ok, it will go away in 2-3 days”, I said. So Oral Aid came to the rescue that night.

Then my Haifa showed me some red dots on the soles of her feet.
“Ibu, sakit sangatlah. Haifa tak boleh pijak. Haifa rasa Haifa pijak batu masa swimming semalam. Boleh tak Haifa pakai sandal pergi sekolah esok?”

“You might as well wear your Nike, it will hurt less I think”, that was my reply. And I put some ointment on her feet before she went to sleep that night.

When I came home the next day, Haifa showed me the palms of her hands. There were around ten red dots on her palms. Right there and then I knew that this was something serious.

Dear Hubby brought them to their pediatrician and after paying RM250, it was confirmed that they were infected with a mild Coxsackie disease. And they were to be house-quarantined until the rashes disappear.

I wasn’t completely satisfied with that, so I called Sime Darby Medical Center (f.k.a SJMC) and told the doctor of my worries. She confirmed with the first pediatrician’s advice. “Only come to the ER if they didn’t eat or drink, since it will be soreness in the throat or mouth.”

Thursday came, and my Hanis got it too. Her rashes were more - on her hands, legs and in the mouth. Went to the pediatrician again. And Hanis was to be house-quarantined like her two sisters.

So there goes our plan of watching Night at the Museum 2. (Lucky I’d watched Angels and Demons on the weekend when it was first shown).

I tried to find the source of the disease, like who and where actually it all started. Later I found out that :
1) Hasya’s tuition-mate just came back from 2-week absence due to Coxsackie
2) Haifa’s Sekolah Agama classmate had it last two weeks
3) Hanis’s kindy has reported a few cases prior to this
So, it’s actually everywhere. It’s easily spread especially to children below ten. The younger the child is, the worse it will become.

We brought Hanis and Haifa to the ER when they started having high fever and Hanis refusing to drink. And they were admitted to the wards.

So here I am, typing away in a double-bedded room in SDMC where my two girls are sleeping soundly at the moment. The girls are getting better, Alhamdulillah. The fever’s gone, and Hanis’s beginning to eat and drink. She lost a few pounds, I can see by the look of it. And my Haifa? She doesn’t look like she’s ill. Hah, that chubby girl, all excited with the hospital gadgets!

Pity them, school holidays and they gotta spend it in a hospital!

What? No Wedding?

2009-05-28T17:37:00.012+08:00

Dear Hubby received a wedding invitation card around two weeks ago. It was on his desk when he came into the office. He brought the card home and it was sitting there in the mengkuang basket for like more than a week before he called me up at home last Friday to check on the Bride-and-Groom’s names. I just texted him their names to which he replied – check the groom’s parents, coz both the bride and groom r not in the office email profile. So when I checked the card, I realized the groom’s mother was someone we actually knew. So that settled it.

And I didn’t look at the card until the assumed wedding day itself, which was on the day after, Saturday the 23rd.

I had my usual Saturday breakfast (hailam coffee and kaya-butter bun)with my Hanis at the nearby restaurant while waiting for my Hanna, Hasya and Haifa to finish up their taekwondo class. It occurred to me then that I didn’t really read what was on the card. What if it was not today, I thought. But I just brushed it aside, and reminded myself to check it when I got home.

Coming back, I had to fetch Dear Hubby from the car workshop where he sent his car to get all his tires changed. And I totally forgot about the card. I had a quick shower and got ready with my kenduri attire. My Hanis wanted to tag along, so we brought her with us. We knew we had to be back before 4pm since the girls would be having their swimming lessons at 4:30pm.

Anyway, off we went. The wedding was in Batu Caves. I looked at the card for the map. Frankly, it wasn’t me at all that day. The usual me would read the card from top to bottom and left to right. But nope, not this time. The map mentioned a Makro Hypermarket on the left of the road, but what we saw was a Tesco. After 10 minutes, we realized something wasn’t quite right. So I called our friend, the groom's mother. It went something like this:

Me : Hi Ros*****, this is DDI.
Ros : Oh... hi DDI. How are you?
Me : Ros.. we couldn’t find your house. I think we’re lost.
Ros : (now sounded confused...) which DDI is this?
Me : Z***’s wife.
Ros : Z***? (now she got more confused) oooh... you’re coming to the wedding...
Me : u-huh
Ros : The wedding’s next monthla... sorry...
Me : (terkedu and started laughing) Oh is it? (laugh some more) BTW, there was no Makro on the way here...
Ros : Hahaha....I made a mistake.... It’s Tesco actually. Sorry DDI, I’m out at the moment or else you can come over.
Me : TQ (still laughing) Our mistake pun... bye!

My eyes darted back to the card. The wedding’s on 27th of June! More than a month to go!!

I felt like a fool for not noticing. Who in the first place mentioned that the wedding was on Saturday? Dear Hubby admitted -he did- but he said wedding cards are usually given like two weeks prior to the wedding, so he just assumed that it was that Saturday... and... errr... expected his Dear Wife to do what she always did – READ!

Aiyo!

The good thing that came out of this (other than listening to my Hanis's rendition of London Bridge is Falling Down and Old McDonald in the car) was we got to try the new DUKE highway that people were talking about. Pretty fast. Impressive.

And so we had our lunch at JM Bariani House in Subang Jaya instead. Macam nasik kenduri jugak, kan?

The funny thing was - the couple with two kids on the next table started a conversation with Dear Hubby when I went to wash my hands. Since it was mentioned that we just came back from a kenduri, apparently Dear Hubby had to 'bohong sunat to save face’. He had to say that we tak puas makan at the wedding, rather than telling the nice couple that we were two meatheads who got the wedding date wrong! LOL!

Admit and Apologize

2009-05-25T22:40:00.020+08:00

I wonder why it is so hard for some people to admit or apologize for their mistakes. I mean, if you were to borrow something from a person, it would be expected of you to return the item in the same condition when it was taken. Especially when the lender already told you of the do’s and don’ts in caring for that item. It’s your responsibility to follow the advice so that nothing bad would happen to the borrowed item.

If you spoilt the item, do admit your mistakes and apologize to the owner.. and at least make lah an attempt to compensate, although in most cases would be denied by the owner.

For example, say these:

“Sorry aaa... I tried to mend this thing but I couldn’t make it work. Please tell me how much this cost so that I could buy you a new one”

OR

“Sori. Could you please try to correct this? If you can’t, let me know so that I can pay you the amount you paid for that in the first place, or at least half the price”

OR

“I’m so sorry I did this. I must have spoilt it last nite when I was out collecting some cow dung in the paddy field which was so muddy after a heavy rain the evening before. But I’ll pay you back with the money I got from selling the cow dung”

Sorry, the last one was exaggerated unintentionally.

The lender would then say this, with only a tint of regret :
"I know you didn’t mean to spoil it. It’s OK. I’ll see what I can do. Thanx anyway”. (read : thanx for admitting, but hey, I don't want your money)

But since that person never said any of the three above, we’d have to get into that person's mind to get this out. Here’s the person's unspoken version:

"I know we don’t know each other well. In fact I think I’m only just one of the familiar faces you see around. But I still wanted to borrow this thing from you coz I liked what you have. I know you told me to take care of it coz it was quite fragile.

But I SWEAR to you, I didn’t spoil it. I did nothing at all, it just happened. I know that when I brought it home for one night, it was in a good condition but I SWEAR to you I didn’t know why it was spoilt. I tried to ‘unspoil’ it but I guess by doing that, it got worse. See, it's now totally spoilt, thanx to my effort.

Sorry lah you can never use it again. I suggest you find the solution to make it right, coz it was yours to begin with pun. Use your own money and don’t you dare asking me to compensate coz I didn’t spoil it!"

So who did it? Martha Stewart?

Some people just don’t have the common sense. A non-living thing don't spoil by itself, OK? C'mmon, we're not talking about an apple here. I know the thing cost less than a hundred, but where were your manners? Couldn't admit your mistake, could you?

My friends warned me not to layan that person anymore. But me being me, still do that. I just don’t know how to totally ignore a person. And you know what, that person never asked for the update on the spoilt thing. To him/her, it's water under the bridge.

Now I have to get me a new one. Or get it repaired.

Or perhaps I should just throw it away.

Sigh.

A Hostel in Memory of Donni

2009-05-15T14:15:00.009+08:00

..... I'm so proud to be part of this :)

NST Online » Local News
2009/05/15

A HOSTEL IN MEMORY OF DONNI
By : Joniston Bangkuai

TUARAN: Soon, about 100 students from far-flung villages in Kiulu, about 20km from here, will no longer have to endure a tiring long walk to Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Tun Fuad Stephens.

Thanks to the alumni of Maktab Rendah Sains Mara (MRSM) Kulim in Kedah, who call themselves Killerbatch, and the Sabah Credit Corporation, a hostel is being built for the students.

The ground-breaking for the project, which is estimated to cost RM200,000, will be held today in the presence of the students and their parents.

To kick-start the project Killerbatch, which was represented by Raja Ali Raja Othman, presented a donation of RM56,567 to SCC general manager Datuk Vincent Pung yesterday.

He said the rest of the funds would be collected through more fund-raising initiatives such as the staging of a play entitled "Ghazal Party Queen" which is scheduled for Dec 12.

Raja Ali said the heart-wrenching story of Donni John Duin, an 11-year-old school boy who committed suicide two years ago to ease the burden of his poverty-stricken family, prompted Killerbatch to embark on the project.

"The dormitory will be named Asrama Donni in remembrance of the boy," he said.

Donni, a Year Five pupil of Sekolah Kebangsaan Kinarut in Papar, had apparently taken his own life as he could no longer take the teasing from his schoolmates who likened his food, which was packed by his mother, to dog vomit.

"We were all greatly saddened by the heartbreaking event when we heard about it and decided that we must not let it pass unnoticed.

"The hostel is our way to ensure that what Donni went through does not happen again," another representative of Killerbatch, Hasnan Jamaludin, said.

Killerbatch also noted that a recent article in the New Straits Times had stated that about 5,000 teenagers in Sabah had dropped out of school before sitting the Penilaian Menengah Rendah examination.

This was largely because of the long distances the students had to travel to and from school each day.

Describing the project as a bridge between Malaysians in Kulim and Kiulu, Raja Ali said it was in line with the 1Malaysia concept espoused by the government.

New Experiences ... and a New Lens ;)

2009-05-11T21:25:00.007+08:00

The weekend’s over, and those two days were pretty hectic for me.

Dear Hubby and I went for a wedding in Segamat on Saturday. Lucky that the groom has given us the detailed instructions of the route to his house via sms, or else we’d never have found the address. It was a good (and looong) six hours of driving thru estates and small towns. And guess what, I got to see Mount Ophir or Gunung Ledang for the first time! If only we got time to spare, we’d have stopped and embraced the beautiful sceneries and gulped in the fresh air...

We came back at 4pm just in time for the kids’ swimming lessons. They had to skip their taekwondo class in the morning so that we could leave earlier for Segamat. Hasya came to me and told me that the baby birds have grown some fine feathers and their eyes opened. So I took out my camera to take some pix and heard something crashed. I was so stunned to see glasses everywhere on the terrace floor. At first I thought my camera had broken. Luckily it was just shattered glasses which used to be the filter. Lucky, lucky me! Only the filter! What if it were the lens??

Apparently Dear Hubby didn’t place the lens cap properly that morning, thus letting the filter exposed to its rounded ends. That was how the filter shattered. Anyway, since we need to use the camera on Sunday, I must get me a new filter.

Dear Hubby sent the girls for their swimming lessons, and I.. dengan kepenatan segala had to mandi etc and left for Subang Parade.

I came home that night smiling. I got myself two new Hoya 58mm filters ... and..a new lens!!! Yay! The lens that came with the camera was a basic one – 18 to 55mm. The newly bought one was a basic one too - 55 to 250mm - but at least I can do a lot of zooming from now on.

Happy happy me. Self-bought mother’s day gift, and thank you Dear Hubby for approving :)

Came Sunday. My Hanna, Hasya and Haifa’s first swimming competition which was held at PADE Shah Alam. We were there at 7:30 am. Many swimmers and parents were already there when we arrived. All three of my girls participated in 50m breaststroke and freestyle. So you can imagine how busy their Ibu clicking away with her new lens...hahaha....

But it was very tiring. Very very tiring especially the waiting-for-the-event game. However, watching the girls trying their best really made me proud. It was indeed a good experience and exposure for them, and their parents as well.

I came home hopelessly wishing for a good body massage. Too bad I was too exhausted to leave the house to get one. I just couldn’t let my maid Nani to massage me, eventhough she was a kampong masseur back home in Indonesia. Segan... better a stranger than a person I know.

So I conked out for a good 2 hours on Hasya’s bed instead!

Happy Mother's Day!

2009-05-10T21:12:00.008+08:00

To all current and future mothers - HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

A very special wish for my dearest Mak in Alor Setar – Selamat Menyambut Hari Ibu.

No words could describe how much I appreciate all the things you’ve done for us – your boys and girls. Only Allah could repay what you’ve given us all these while. May you be blessed with a great health, infinite happiness and be embraced in a realm of imaan.

I’m happy that you like the cake that Zue has baked for you.

Thank you Zue for making a splendid cake for my MAK :)

Gambar dicilok dari blog Zue!

The Welcomed Guests 2 - Eggs Hatched!

2009-05-05T17:45:00.020+08:00

I’m THRILLED! The eggs have hatched! Yay!

I took the two-featherless-baby-birds' photos while the mother was away. I wasn’t able to get the best shots since I was in a hurry to get ready to send Dear Hubby to KLIA this morning. I hope to get the best angle and post later - with their mouths open and necks extended.

See - the nestlings aren't that pretty lah, in fact they look rather ugly! But I’m sure when their feathers have grown, they’ll look like their handsome parents :)
The nestlings- eyes closed and naked.

I'll keep on updating their photos. And you know what ... I guess I'll never be able to eat Burung Puyuh Goreng after this!

***update: pics taken at 7pm on 5th May

Notice the insides of its mouth?

Aww... the hungry lil birdies...

Haifa is 7 Today!

2009-04-29T22:33:00.007+08:00

Happy 7th Birthday Haifa!

I was very happy to see your excitement just now! I knew it - you’d definitely love the cupcakes, the rabbit cake and your presents. They were simply awesome, weren’t they?

Ayah-Ibu's do’a for you Haifa sayang,
May your life be filled with serenity and peace, love and affection, happiness and laughter, great health and wealth, success and winning, patience and perseverance, and most of all - imaan and taqwa.

Ayah and Ibu hope that you get the best out of the goodness in life!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Love you! Love You! Muaaaahhhhssss!

Dear Haifa

2009-04-27T21:35:00.006+08:00

My dearest daughter Haifa,
I know you won't be reading this since you have limited access/permission to the internet, but I want to write you anyway.

It’s only a day before your 7th birthday’s here. Last year you got what you wished for – a bicycle – which was bought a month prior to your birthday. You rode the bicycle almost every single free minute you got. I just couldn’t imagine seeing you without your bike, since you were practically riding it all the time. You liked it so much, right? So this year you hope to get your wish fulfilled. Again.

But Haifa... I’m so sorry to tell you that this year Ayah and Ibu won’t be getting what you wanted. Eventhough we know that you want them really really bad, we just won’t get them for you. The rabbits you’ve been wishing for just don’t rhyme with your birthday song. I’ve checked the rabbits out at the Amcorp Mall last month. They were pretty soft and cute. And cuddly, just like you. But I don’t think that you’re ready for them yet. Or them you. Can you wait until you’re a bit older, before I get them for you, Haifa? Or when I could go off to work without having this worry that the rabbits would still be there when I get home? I know you can, right?

Haifa sayang, rabbits are gentle animals. And fragile. Errr... just like you. They are like babies who need the TLC that I’m sure you’ll be able to provide. But sayang, they need to be stroked lightly, not vigorously like you did the fishes (RIP) a few months ago. I know you did it out of love, but dear, too much of a good thing wasn’t good either. I know I may be able to teach you the how tos... but can I do that when you’re a 'lil bit older? And oh, I really hope you'll stop chanting "I want two bunny rabbits" after this. Please?

We also have a surprise for you sometime next month. When the bird’s eggs have hatched, you’ll be seeing two baby-birds in the nest. Not that I don’t want to share the news with you now, it’s just that I want to give the mother bird some peace and quiet. And give you a surprise. You understand that too, don’t you?

Anyway, for your birthday this year Haifa, you’ll be getting some books (as usual) and a Baby G watch. I know you’ll like them for sure. And please don’t lose the watch this time, ok? And before you start asking me – Yes, the watch is water-proof. You can swim up to a hundred meter down the pool to prove it. Kak Hanna’s wearing the same brand, so I know that it’s tough enough even for an active and curious girl like you.

Till your birthday on Wednesday.

Lots of Love,

The Welcomed Guests 1

2009-04-21T21:35:00.019+08:00

Two weeks ago, this young couple started coming to our house. They seemed like a nice pair. We didn’t know where they were from, but it didn’t matter coz we actually liked them. They loved to stay in the garden and would talk incessantly near my potted palm tree on my side terrace. I didn’t quite get what kind of language they were using, but their voices were soothing to the ear.

They appeared when the morning arrived (since the house was quiet without the kids screaming about) and stayed until dusk came. They were planning something big for sure, and my guess at that time would be on their new home. My maids would watch them thru the kitchen windows and would sometime walk by them to let them know that there were people living in the house. They were trespassing alright, but we didn’t mind, as long as they didn’t give us any trouble.

Over the weekend when I was home, I’d peep at them thru the sliding door. At times I’d use my binoculars and watched them working. Such patience they had, and I wished I could be like them. How well they planned their work and how hard they worked towards getting what they wanted. And such a loving couple they were.

Yesterday was a special day for the pair. I came home from work to a beaming Hasya. She *whispered* to me that the gal has given birth! I was overjoyed! (*the whispering was a crucial one since we didn’t want Haifa-The-Curious-One to know about the couple just yet or that would be the end of tranquility for them*).

This morning, when the gal left (I think to get her breakfast), I sneaked to her new abode and took this pix.

That was before I left to work this morning.

When I came home this evening, there was a surprise – another one!

Notice how intricate their new home is. Such delicate work. Weaved with love and affection.

Now there are two! Maybe there'll be more tomorrow. Who knows? And you know what, I'll be happy if they decided to stay here permanently :)

My Lil Bro is 37 Today!

2009-04-14T21:08:00.016+08:00

It was the year of 1972 when a 30yo mother gave birth to a cute baby boy. The boy was the fifth sibling in the family. The fourth sibling - Ja, a girl - was 6yo at the time. She just couldn’t understand why this baby was getting all the attentions from those well wishers who came to her house. The houseguests kept on increasing day by day and this made Ja rather jealous of the attentions that the newborn was getting. After all, she was the princess of the house for six whole years! This newborn was bringing chaos to her world, so she thought.

Now, at 43 yo, she could still remember the conversation that took place in her house at 108, Kampung Baru, Alor Setar.

Pak Ngah Ariffin (now Arwah) : Ja, suka dak dapat adik?
Ja : Dak
Pak Ngah Ariffin : Awat tak suka?
Ja : Tak suka lah. Pak Ngah nak, ambiklah.
Pak Ngah Ariffin : Pak Ngah ambiklah, ka Ja nak juai?
Ja : Satu ribu (or was it satu ratus?)
Pak Ngah : Oklah, Pak Ngah bayaq, nanti Pak Ngah ambik adik tu.
Ja : (somehow felt rather bad) Tak maulah Pak Ngah.
Pak Ngah : Awatnya?
Ja : (couldn’t answer.. and left. She could still remember the orang-orang tua laughing)

So a few days after that, she saw the baby sleeping on her mother’s bed. He was all alone, all cute and clean. She climbed the bed and looked at the baby closely. She was curious. So this was the baby who was stealing the limelight. He was kinda cute, she thought. What if I step on his face? Would he cry?

So Ja lifted up her foot slowly... and when it barely touched the baby’s nose, she stopped. Suddenly she realized that she actually liked this boy. She remembered Mak saying something like this boy was going to call her Kak Ja when he could speak. She quite liked the thought.

And she left the bed. The baby boy was left unharmed.

ADIK,
That was my two Dosa I made to you! Although I can’t remember a lot of things when we were younger, those two I remember crisp and clear. There you go - Confessions of a Sister!

I’m extremely glad that I didn’t step on your face Adik, or you won’t be having the mancung nose you have now..hahaha!

HAPPY 37th BIRTHDAY ‘LIL BRO! May you get the best in everything you do. May you be blessed with great health, abundance and happiness, lots of love and laughters and most of all, be blessed with a beautiful heart and imaan. May you and your beautiful family live life the best throughout the year, and many more years to come!

Adik on his 4th birthday in 1976.

Eewww! Gross!!

2009-04-13T13:50:00.004+08:00

There are some things better done in private. But there were so many times when you stumbled upon these people who did their 'thing' in public.

I remember around two months ago when we were having lunch at Bukit Jalil after the girls’ squash lessons. We were just finishing our drinks when we saw this Indonesian helper/waitress leaning against a pillar, picking her nose! And there were more than ten customers eating! Eeeeww!! When she came over to get the payment from us, we gave it to the owner instead. And the helper got a short ‘lecture’ from me. C’mmonlah, you’re serving food, apa? Duh!

There’s one Bangladeshi guy working at the Shell station near my house who loves to pick his nose. I think it’s a hard habit to break. Everytime he comes near me or my car, I’d say, Eh, don’t come near me, I saw what you just did. He’d just smile and acted as if he did nothing wrong.

But the worst was yesterday. I was at Mydin yesterday afternoon with my Hanis to get some books for my Hasya. Was waiting for my turn to have my fruits and veggies weighed at the weighing station when I glanced around and saw this man doing something really gross. I wished I hadn’t seen him but too bad, I already had. He was a customer in his early fifties, wearing a pair of shorts, a brown t-shirt, a pair of slippers and a pair of dark sunglasses. He was actually standing two feet away behind the man manning the station, so I was sure that those 10 to 15 people standing there with me saw what he was doing.

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I first saw what he did. I mean, why didn’t he do it in private, instead of doing it in front of two long queues of people? Hello, public etiquette... you forgot? This man actually picked his belly button, and brought the boogers(?) or dirt to his nose, and smelled them as if they were roses!! Gross!! He did it more than twice, at least, coz the nauseous feeling made me turned away after the second act. Luckily my breakfast was long digested and I haven’t had my lunch yet!

It's disgusting when people acted as if it was ok to do these things in public. This morning while stopping at a red light, this man in the car next to me was digging up his nostrils. Really deep. Gosh, I wished I would just stare ahead, instead of glancing outside the window.

Maybe it was an invasion of his privacy. He was in the personal comfort of his car. So, was I in the wrong here?

Absent: Sepang F1 Race 2009

2009-04-05T21:30:00.011+08:00

Jenson Button won the 2009 Sepang F1 Race! Good for him! A torrential thunderstorm halted the race at its 32nd lap and Button was in the first spot for the 31st lap. So he won the race.

I waited anxiously in front of the TV - practically on the edge of my seat - for nearly an hour for the race to restart but that never happened. Unlike previous years where we got to watch the race live in Sepang, this year we didn’t go. The girls didn’t request for it either. I think they didn’t even know the race was back. Dear Hubby wasn’t keen this time... he was out with the girls for their swimming lessons. So it was just me getting the adrenaline rush watching the race on TV. And wishing that I was there – right infront of the pitstop like the usual. Sob.. sob...

This is the nearest I got to Button - on TV that is. How pathetic is that?

Come to think of it, I think I should be thankful. No more sunburn and sweaty necks. No more parting with the money for the tickets and the t-shirts/shirts/caps/food/drinks etc. Now I could buy myself a new Tag watch or get myself the Coach handbag I saw last week on the net.

Sour Grapes!

In reality, I actually missed being there. Listening to the sound bites of roaring F1 race cars, the screeching tires and the ever-so-excited crowds! The excitement just wasn’t the same watching them on TV.

Oh well, look on the brighter side. At least I got to watch Confessions of a Shopaholic on Friday night. Loved it. The girls loved it too. Dear Hubby got himself a ticket to Fast and Furious4. And before you start asking – no, I didn’t finish the books as mentioned in my previous entry. Couldn’t find the time. Or maybe I didn’t read fast enough. At the moment, I’m still at page 215 of the first book. So much of an optimist!

What gives?

Maybe I should join the speed-reading course. I read it somewhere that there is such a course here in Malaysia. Maybe they give out free tickets to F1 2010 race if I were to enroll??

Kids After the Hols

2009-03-31T17:38:00.001+08:00

Now that the holiday’s over, things got back to routine. Back to school for my older children and back to kindy for my Hanis. Well, last week was a difficult week for me - having to listen to Hanis’s crying “Nak Ibu, Nak Ibu” everytime I dropped her off at the kindergarten. And it broke my heart to pieces everytime she did that.

But today in the car she smiled and sang to the tune of her favorite song - Sunday-Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday-Thursday-Friday-Saturday (that’s actually the complete lyrics of the whole song!) Can you imagine me listening to this song over-and-over again for like 10 times before reaching her kindy! Every single day. She refused to listen to anything else. Tak jemu pulak tu.

My Haifa got her first shot at school last week. That was an immunization injection given to Standard One students at school. She came running to me with tears in her eyes when I reached home that day and told me her sob story...
"Sakitlah Ibu tangan Haifa dua-dua ni..."
"Macamana Haifa nak buat punch untuk exam taekwondo nanti? Tak boleh lah Ibu..."
"Ibu, macamana Haifa nak buat backstroke swimming nanti.. tangan Haifa sakit ni"
"Ibu, Haifa rasa Haifa tak boleh pegang racquet squash lah Ibu, tangan Haifa sakit sangat ni. Tengok ni"
I said to her that the pain would go off in a few days.
She said, "I don’t think so lah Ibu, tengok ni, tangan Haifa tak boleh angkat ni.. sakit" And she showed me her muka sedih.
I said "Nanti Ibu sapu minyak Mustajab, nanti baik"
Two days later she was up and running, as if nothing ever bothered her at all. Haifa...Haifa...

Today my Hanna got her shot – given to the Standard Six pupils at school. She called me up just now telling me that she cried after getting the jab. So painful she said. I think that was the Rubella injection. I remember getting this shot when I first arrived in the States in 1986. It was painful... and many of the International Students there with me fainted, I mean they fainted before getting those injections!!

My Hasya has been asking me for another cupcake making and deco session. I know that I've promised the girls. Been dillydallying it for months already. And now they've been 'harassing' me. I think I better give in. At least I can bring those cupcakes during my Haziq and Husna's school party this weekend.

In the meantime, I'm trying hard to finish reading Sophie Kinsella's two books before I got to watch the Confessions of a Shopaholic movie. I hope I will finish them in time.

A marathon reading for me!

... and now Back to Work

2009-03-23T06:34:00.011+08:00

The one-week school break’s over. I was out of the office for nine days and I’d say that those nine days were quality time spent with Dear Hubby, my kids and my parents who came all the way from Alor Setar.

We went to A Famosa Resort, Melaka. Checked in on Monday and out on Thursday.

Monday night was Cowboy Town night. It was pretty much the same when we were here a few years ago. Was it worth the money spent on the tickets? Frankly I think it was way overpriced. But the children loved the parade show, and that was all that matters.

A Malaysian 'Cowboy' with an Albino snake?

Can't avoid having goosebumps looking at this pic - a Malaysian 'Red Indian' playing with fire. Hasya was the one who pointed this out to me. Click on the pic and look at the 'smoke' behind the man. Spooooky!

We played Tourists on Tuesday. Walked around Melaka town, in and out of the museums, tried the trishaws, and finished it off with a great meal - assam pedas with fried crabs. Yummy!

St Paul's Church

The A Famosa

Wednesday was Water Play day. At first I was a bit disappointed with the Water Park since there were only a few spots for the kids to play, but then Dear Hubby layan them for seven hours with repeated rides and water playing. Seven hours, and they continued playing for two more hours in the pool when we got back to the villa! Kids!

Their Ibu? Sunburned. A terrible one this time. Should’ve known better. Should’ve squeezed more sunblock from the tube. So now I’m suffering - this itchiness on the face.... urrgghhh!! But it’s oklah, I actually had a great time. Loved every minute of it. The kids also enjoyed their break. Also took them to watch Race to Witch Mountain. Great movie for the kids to watch.

I guess now I'll have to deal with my sunburned skin - it will take around two to three weeks for these spots to disappear. Hopefully.

And this morning I woke up with mixed feelings. Going to work today will be such a hard thing to do. Hanis has been clinging to me since last night and an hour ago she held both my hands – Jangan bangun Ibu, sleep dengan Hanis please.

Alahaaii... this is normal whenever I took a long leave. I know she'll cry again when I send her to her kindy afterwards.

Sigh.

SPM Results Out Today

2009-03-12T08:27:00.003+08:00

The SPM results will be out at 10am. So I was told by my nephew who at the moment is biting his nails off. What more could you ask for – Driving Test at 8am and getting the SPM results at 10am! Poor Zhafri. My niece Nisya who’s in KL is sure a nervous wreck too right now.

I remember when I got my SPM results. It was early 1984, and I was doing my English course in CML Slim River which was organized by MARA for some MRSM students who were waiting for their SPM results. A few days before it was out, I received a phone call from my Mak. And I got my results! Apparently my AYAH had a friend in the Kementerian Pelajaran and got it out earlier for me. It was an unexpected call, so my feelings were all mixed up upon receiving the news.

So I went back to see my dormmates and told them the good news (the results were OKlah, not excellent). And you could see their faces – all drained of color! That night, the dorm was unusually quiet, and a few of my friends cried. I asked them, why are you guys so gloomy? They said they were nervous, anxious and scared. You OKlah Ja, you got it overwith. Alamak – did I spoil the fun?

Anyway, good luck to all parents and those 17yos with the butterflies in their tummies. May all pass with flying colors!

To Zhafri and Nisya – did I promise you guys anything for As?

Love Hurts

2009-03-06T06:52:00.004+08:00

Every Saturday and Sunday, we took Hanna, Hasya and Haifa for their swimming lessons. Last Saturday, I was sitting on a plastic chair by the pool, reading Jodi Picoult’s Mercy with Hanis coloring away on a bathrobe next on the floor when this guy came to me. I know him as “Joe” (not his real name). Joe is 22, a 6-footer. He’s a lifeguard/rescuer at the pool. I talked to him many times before, but never about personal things. So when he came to me with this question, I was a bit surprised.

“Kak, I’d like to ask for your opinion. It's a long story. I hope you’ll bear with me.”

I put down my book. I thought this must be interesting. “I’m all ears. Is it about a girl?”

“Yes Kak, and I hope you could give your opinion on this. I just don’t know what to do.”

So he began his story. Apparently he’s in love with this girl, Sue (not her real name). Sue, according to Joe, was the prettiest girl he’d ever seen. So mesmerizing, he said - glowing skin, face of an angel, petite body and was a princess everybody was dreaming about. To make matters worse, they sat next to each other for three years – when they were in Form 1 until Form 3. He said he liked her a lot until it hurt so much inside, but he didn’t have the nerve to let her know. After all, they were like buddies, and Joe said he was a very very chubby giant when he was at that age and was sure that she wouldn’t like him the way he wanted her to be. He also used to be a postman for other boys who were interested in her.

He kept his feelings all to himself for three years. He said he understood that he was in a different league altogether and knew for sure that she’d laugh at him if she knew of his true feelings.

When they went to separate classes in Form 4 and Form 5, Joe became restless. He couldn’t think straight for this dream girl of his was no longer there in the classroom with him. It was so bad that his parents saw the changes in him and brought him to see the psychiatrist. He said he played along with the psychiatrist but he didn’t reveal the real reason why he has changed. He couldn’t let his secret be read like a book. He loved Sue too much to get her involved in the turmoil he was in.

So, Joe kept on seeing this psychiatrist until he finished his secondary school. Right after SPM, he left home. He said he needed the vacuum to forget Sue since he couldn’t let her out of his system. But he told no one the actual reason why he left. Since he believed that he was a born-rescuer since he was 6yo (remember the movie “The Guardian”?), he left for the islands and places which had oceans attached. He went on learning oceanography and perfected himself to be a true rescuer.

He was away for 4 years. Different islands and different places. He thought he could forget Sue, but he couldn’t. Sue still sits on that pedestal that Joe has created ten years ago.

He came back to his parents last year in January. That was because he didn’t want his mom to cry for him anymore. He didn’t want to hurt his parents no more. And he realized that being 4 years away didn’t even diminish his feelings towards Sue. In fact it was still there, occupying his heart in whole. And according to him, it was achingly painful just to think of her.

His exact words - "Kak, it's like a dagger punched thru the heart, everytime I think of her".

Ten years, and he said he loves her even more. For ten years he couldn’t see any other women at all, although opportunities were there. For ten years, he’s still at the same point where he left before. His heart still yearns for her.

Five months ago, he met Sue on the train. He said she looked as pretty as ever. And his heart went thumping like crazy when their gazes met.

They had a small chat. He said he stuttered. From then on, he tried to avoid her everytime he saw her on the train. And she looked so lovely from afar. When a week ago he couldn’t avoid her, they talked a while. She gave him her name card and asked him to call her.

The question that Joe’s been meaning to ask me was : “Should I call her, Kak? Yes or No?”

I looked at him straight in the eye and said – “Yes”

I told him, it’s not everyday that a person gets a second chance. Opportunity seldom knocks twice. This is the time for him to get to know her. But don’t rush into anything. Go slow. And be ready for disappointments for she may only be asking him to be her friend, nothing more. But most of all, I said to him, you’ll never know until you try... and putting yourself in a different league makes it even harder.

She might have liked him since she was 13, but he was too oblivious to notice it. There’s a possibility of that. If he were to pass this opportunity, he’d never know for sure.

Opportunities lost will be opportunities lost. Then regret will haunt him forever.

When I met him again the day after, on Sunday, Joe came to me and said – “Kak, I texted her. She asked to meet me for dinner. I’m meeting her tonite. And I’m nervous as hell.”

I’m really happy for Joe. I don’t know how the date went yet. I’ll know about it tomorrow. I just hope that he’ll be able to accept whatever the outcome is. I kept reminding him to be ready for a letdown, to be strong when things didn’t go his way. And I also told him, if that were to happen, remember that Soulmates don't always end up together.

What amazes me of the whole situation is, I’ve never thought that a young man like Joe can have this love so great that it hurts him inside out. When he said that his heart felt like being stabbed everytime he thought of her, I was speechless. I thought these things only happened in movies.

I guess Nazareth was right – Love Hurts after all.

The Mom-of-the-Year Award

2009-03-03T13:45:00.004+08:00

I’ve been honored with The Mom of the Year Award from Wanshana who seems to think that I deserve it. I know I’m not a perfect mom but all mothers say the same thing. Nobody’s perfect, right? TQ Shana, I’m truly honored :)

And yeap, the award comes with a set of rules which include:
1. Admit one thing you feel awful about (involving being a mom).

2. List 7 things you love about your kids, you love doing with your kids, or that your kids love about you.

3. Send this to 5 other moms of the year that deserve a reminder that they too are the best moms that they can be. Remember to send them a note letting them know you have selected them, and also add a link to your post that directs people back to the person who nominated you.

So here we go:
1. Admit one thing you feel awful about (involving being a mom)

I think I have more than one. Or definitely more than 10..hahaha..

I guess the number one thing I feel most awful about is pretty much the same for most working mothers – not being able to be there 24/7 for their kids. If I were a deep-pocket, I’d be a stay-home mom – where I can do anything they want me to do. Cook their favorite meals, drive them to their favorite locations, spend time with them doing things they love and most of all, be there whenever and wherever they want me to.

2. List 7 things you love about your kids, you love doing with your kids, or that your kids love about you.

1) I absolutely love it when my kids come running to me and give me the hugs and kisses when I reach home from work. Anti-stress prescription for sure.

2) I love the outings I have with them. They are full of life and every step they take leaves a vibrant color in me. They just liven things up with their different ways and personalities.

3) I so love spending time with them. Doing anything they like – baking, eating, singing, coloring, reading, playing, gardening, watching movies or just lazing around in the house with at least one of them in my arms. And the best part is when they fall asleep in these arms.

4) I love them unconditionally. No matter how they are like, they are the greatest gifts that I’ve ever received. My Treasure. My Life.

5) I love the fact that they look up to me. They even think that I have extra ‘eyes’ at the back of my head since I seem to know everything they do or think. They still wonder how I got that ‘eyes’. It’s called instinct, kids!

6) I love the hugs, kisses and I-Love-Yous they give me every night before going to sleep. And I love to watch them sleeping afterwards.

7) I love it when they make time for me.... like combing my hair or giving me a head or leg massage without being asked. I also love the letters, cards, drawings or notes they write me with words that can only come from the purest of hearts.

Seven already?

3. Send this to 5 other moms of the year that deserve a reminder that they too are the best moms that they can be.

I think I'm gonna award every mother on my blogroll, but that ain't the rule. OK ... now I'm bestowing this award to:
1) Queen of the House
2) Mamamia
3) Raden Galoh
4) Chahya
5) Mum and Roses
and... can I add two more? Rules are meant to be broken anyway:)
6) Nurazzah
7) Zlaa

You rock ladies!

Fishing Déjà vu

2009-02-26T07:50:00.002+08:00

We were looking for this Sports/Hobby shop in Bandar Sunway on Monday to get Dear Hubby his thermo guard wetsuit for his 3x/wk swimming exercises. We found it after 20 minutes spent searching thru the fierce rain.

Once I stepped into the shop, I was overwhelmed by a sense of familiarity. I was thinking – these things are so familiar, but what are they called? I couldn’t recall the names of the long poles, the round-thing behind the glass, the red&white globes and those things hanging from the wall. I stood there in awe, watching these things that used to be my companions. It took me quite a while... when suddenly all these vocabularies came flooding in - sinkers, jigheads, hooks, rods, reels, lures, lines, flies, rigs, floats, baits, swivels, Shimano, Penn, Daiwa, fighting belts etc etc.

You see, I used to love fishing. It was when I was in my early twenties studying in the States and lived a few blocks away from the North Pacific Ocean. Yeap, I was deep into fishing. You can call me a hardcore fishing enthusiast or Smelly Mackerel if you like..hahaha... but really, I was like that once. Every week, or whenever there was a vacant in my schedule, I’d go fishing with my buddies. On the pier, took a boat to the barge, or went deep-sea fishing at dawn and at dusk.

The best part of it all was when you got a nibble. It didn’t matter if you got to catch the fish or not. The joy of getting a nibble was enough to boost the spirit. And if you were lucky, the satisfaction of reeling the fish in was unexplainable. I remember catching Mackerels, Seabass, Sand Sharks, Barracudas, Snappers, Gelama (I forgot what Gelama is called in English), Halibuts and Stingrays. But Yellowtails were the real fighters, so I never did win them.

Fishing taught me to be patient - learn how to think positively and wait for the good to come. When you got your rod rigged, held the rod in your hand and began the waiting process. To breathe in the seabeeze, enjoy the sound of small waves, watch the birds in the sky and put a good song in your head really gave you the placidity of mind. And everything else didn’t matter.

Life was that simple.

It’s a fact that sometimes things that we once loved doing were forgotten along the journey of life we've taken. Things that we used to be passionate about and had become essential parts of the life we once lived. But when you stopped doing them altogether, you’d tend to forget about them in perfect total.

Anyway, now, I get my fish stock at the Pasar Tani. No more waiting for the nibblings and the undoing of the line tangles. Easy catch. Just show them the money and the fish sellers will gut and clean the fish for you. All you have to do when you get home is to re-clean them and cook them to your likings. Senang kan?

One thing for sure is - I don’t think I’ll ever fish again. I doubt if I still have the patience I once had. And I’m certain that my children’s screaming would definitely scare the poor fish away!

Weaning Hanis

2009-02-18T06:46:00.004+08:00

I’d say that nursing your child is one of the best moments for a mother to experience. I breastfed all my six children and they were only being weaned due to reasons like another pregnancy (Haziq, Hasya & Haifa), performing Haji (Hanna) and weight problem (Husna).

But not my Hanis, who’s now a kindergartner at 3y 4mo. I have no reasons whatsoever to wean her off. Since she’s my youngest, I tried to delay the weaning process. But like all the good things in life, it has to come to an end. I started giving her the talk since December last year. She refused to acknowledge me whenever I started telling her that she was already a big girl and had to say goodbye to breast milk. Sometimes she’d sing out loud every time I began to open my mouth. That girl!

After many attempts to steer her away at night, she finally gave in. She’s been weaned off breastfeeding for six weeks now. Goal achieved, but how I missed the nursing relationship I had with her. The cuddling, the caressing and the warmth of her body against mine. Sigh.

Now she has acquired a new habit at night when I tuck her to sleep. I’ll have to lie down beside her. She‘ll take my hand and put it under her chin. Then she’ll start kissing the back of my hand, make some small bites and pinches. This will go on for a good 10 to 15 minutes before she enters a dreamless slumber. I guess she missed them...

But whatever it is, I’m glad that we’ve had that bonding for more than three years. The special feeling of closeness and coziness that only breastfeeding can offer.

And guess what - I got myself a new bestfriend... the ever so helpful - the Bust Firming cream! LOL!

The 30th Anniversary Reunion

2009-02-11T12:25:00.004+08:00

The date was 4th February 1979. That was the day I registered myself as a Form One student in MRSM Kulim. That was 30 years and 6 days ago. To commemorate the day, we’ve decided to do a Reunion - 30th Anniversary Reunion of the never-ending friendship of our 1979 batch - The Killerbatch. I’ve no idea how or why this name was given to us in the first place - us 177 altogether, with the ratio of 1girl:2boys.

The last time I’ve seen most of them was like 25 years ago. That was when we left high school for good after the 1983 SPM. Now after more than 20 years, I was going to meet them again.

When I reached TEP with Hanna (my chaperone!) – there they were ... the girls and boys. My God, I realized how much we’ve changed. And how much friendship was left unattended all these while. My voice suddenly became hoarse for I just couldn’t contain the joy and excitement I felt inside while hugging the girls I knew who now had become beautiful women, and saying hi to the boys who had now become great men.

Although all of us have changed – the wrinkles, the extra ‘tires’, the pot bellies, the receding hairlines, the gray hair and all – they remained as 17 year-olds in my eyes. These are the people I actually grew up with. These are the boys and girls that had given me my five years of learning, exploring, making friends, getting new experiences and satisfying those curiosities.

It was a wonderful feeling I had that night. It felt tremendously good to meet up with old friends and realized that the 30 years of friendship has been brought up to a higher level -

... That these boys and girls are now my Brothers and Sisters...

Of this, that and Caterpillars

2009-02-01T13:45:00.004+08:00

Selamat Hari Wilayah! Since I’m not working in KL, tomorrow I’ll be working. Dear Hubby will have one off day and hopefully he’ll manage to get thru the crowd in one Selangor bank to collect his new checkbook. And I leave the task of getting back the deposit we paid to Hanis’s previous kindergarten tomorrow to him.

And it’s not RM13XX as mentioned earlier in my posting. It’s RM1449!

You bet, we’ll be asking for all the school materials etc etc if they refused to give back at least half of the money.

Last night Dear Hubby and I watched Red Cliff 2 at Sunway Pyramid. We didn’t bring the girls along since we thought they’ve already had their dose of films for now – The Bedtime Stories, Inkheart, and those during the school holidays - Casino Royale, Madagascar 2, Cicakman 2 and some which I can’t recall.

To me, the film was good. It was much better than the first Red Cliff. John Woo did an excellent job with this one. Although we sat at the front row - and had to mendongak all the while - I managed to read the subtitles and watched the whole screen as well. Overall, it was an entertaining film.

How I wish the Gaza people could win the war like the Red Cliff folks did....

Anyway, just look who came back to town! These green things!

They were here a few months ago and now they’re back... Can you imagine these are found in the same plant? My Pokok Susun Kelapa.

What I wonder about them is – do these things fly? My girls, maids and I wondered about this since they appeared out of nowhere. For instance, we took out a whole bunch of them in the morning, but by evening, some more appeared!

Menggelikan, but these wiggly things look kinda cute, don’t you think so?

Gong Xi Fa Chai!

2009-01-26T06:24:00.001+08:00

I would like to take this opportunity to wish all my Chinese friends a very Happy and Prosperous Chinese New Year.

Let’s pray that this Ox-picious year will bring Good Health, Good Fortune, Happiness and Prosperity to all of us.

Moooo!

Tagged - 16 Random Facts about me

2009-01-21T12:45:00.001+08:00

I've been tagged by Wan Shana since December 24. Been meaning to finish the 'assignment' but couldn't get to point #2 without being interrupted. So tonite, after kissing, hugging and I Love Yous, I tucked all 6 of my angels to bed. Dear Hubby will be in PD until Friday, and I know sleep won’t come easy when he’s not around. So here goes:

16 Random Facts about me: (This will definitely be a loooooong and boriiiing posting)

1) I like to read. I started reading very early. By 12, I’ve already read hundreds of comics, magazines and books. I guess this was due to my dad(AYAH) being a teacher/writer and his habit of buying all kinds of magazines, comics and books to read. My fav comic before I was 7 was Master Q – the Chinese comic. AYAH had a cupboard full of these... Then I got hooked to Kesah Sa-Ribu Satu Malam series... and these books were in Bahasa Melayu Lama. Imagine me reading Arakian, Cheritera etc when I was 11. I loved them... and the GOOD news was – I asked for them recently and AYAH gave me the whole collection! Treasure, treasure!

2) I had Hyperemesis Gravidarium during my pregnancies. My last two pregnancies were the worst. It was when I was pregnant with Haifa (2002) and Hanis (2005). I couldn’t see/hear/smell FOOD and abhor even listening to McD’s ads. It was so bad that I kept close to the bathroom door for easy vomitting. In 2002, I was admitted in SJMC for 2 weeks and was IVd with 60 bottles of glucose and what nots! Habis parut tangan aku!

3) But I looove being in pantang! The confinement period would mean lots of pampering. I adore the 44-days of Tungku, the 12 times of uruts and the tons of jamu! And the taking care of the babies... love it...

4) I believe that my special children – Haziq and Husna – are the biggest reasons for the strength we feel, the love we nurture, the rezeki we welcome and the laughter we share... Sometimes when I looked at the glass half empty, I’d think of their future – the What Ifs... But the positive side of mine would always steer me back to think of the roses instead of the thorns....

5) I was a US size 6 or 7 when I got married at 25. My shoes size was 5. Now at 42+ I think I’ll only fit into size 12 or 13 or 15. My shoe-size currently stands at 7. I don’t know when I’ll stop growing... poor me :(

6) I got my driving license when I was 32! I think it took me nearly 3 years to get my license since there were many disruptions along the way... such as pregnantlah, beranaklah, pergi umrah lah, pergi Haji lah etc etc. And finally in 1998 after my haji, I got the license! And that came with a Kancil – which I was forced to drive by Dear Hubby... takut wooo... but when I got the hang of it, mulalah panjaaaaang langkah ku ini..hihihi...

Laa... baru #7 ka?

7) What else.. hmmhh... ok, one thing about me, I soo love gardening! I love plants and trees, although nowadays I sort of neglect them. I love to have all kinds of plants in the garden that my Mak said that my previous house looked like a jungle. I had to part with my lovely plants at one time when we did the renovation with the old house. Gave away like 40 pots and plants to my neighbor. Sedey tau.... but later I got the new ones in no time! Now, with a bigger garden, I realized that I already have all the plants that I want. But why do I still make that journey to Sg Buluh?

8) I love local fruits – mango, mangosteen, rambutan, duku langsat, durian, dokong are my favs. And I planted these trees (except dokong) here at home. And I love cherries.. but I guess they are not local, right? And they are so darn expensive!

9) I don't watch horror movies! That means I’m a penakut. If watching a horror film would make me start imagining things, better not risk it lah, kan?

10) I take my supplements religiously. I used to take jamus when I was younger, but I started taking supplements when I was nearing 40.

11) I started my skincare regime when I was 33, when I started using SKII. Prior to this it was Oil of Olay cleanser, and that was all I used. When I was nearing 30, I tried using a Malaysian product, then Artistry for a year, Estee for a year before I got stuck to SKII. A loyal user ever since.

12) I love capturing moments on camera. Ever since I used AYAH’s manual Yashica when I was 13, I got hooked to it. I remember when I was in MRSM Kulim, I used to rent a camera at a camera shop..12 exposures would be doubled to 24, and 24 doubled to 48. So I got to take more pictures with minimal price to pay. My first camera was given to me by my big bro – Bemmie. But that camera was stolen when my house was broken into back in the States when I was still studying. Frust giler! My 2nd camera was Canon Prima Super 135, 3rd – CanonPower Shot A620 and my current one – Canon 450D. I took loads of pictures and my picture album cabinets are the solid proof of that...

Berapa lagi nih...

13) I don’t know how many ‘memberships’ that I have. Since I like buying things, and since I like getting discounts, I’d always become a member.. eg like a)bookstores – MPH, Popular, Big Bookshop, SPP etc b)Shops like Robinsons, Jusco, Metro, Aussino, Lovely Lace, etc etc c) All the varieties - Cosway, Amway, Avon, Gano, Era Edar, Nona Roguy, Elken, 4Life etc etc d) A ME time - Missy Nails, Reborn for massage, Fish Spa, microdermabrasion package and many many more... segan pulak nak cakap... I’d usually join to get the discounts la... or am I easily lured into something? Hmmhh... something to ponder...

14) I can’t wear flat shoes. Or I’d tend to walk funny. Weird, huh? Even during my pregnancies, I’d still have to walk in a 2-inch heels. All my shoes will be in their 2 1/2 to 3 inch range although at the moment now my weight is at its heaviest ever....takut pulak patah tumit kasut...huhu...

15) Apa lagi.. Oh, I like slow rock songs since I was in my teens. Nowadays I tend to listen to them only occasionally. Indon songs, and some 80s English songs are the ones being played in my car while driving to work. Mellow with age lah... but sometimes ada jugak Led Zeppelin or Deep Purple tu...hihihi...

16) Last, but never the least – (I’m pretty sure Dear Hubby doesn’t know this), actually it was love at first sight when I first met him. I don’t know how, but I somehow knew then that he was the one for me. Met him in February 1991, engaged in July 1991, and tied the knot in November 1991. It was an intensive getting-to-know relationship and that relationship gave me the most precious package – 6 beautiful babies wrapped with Love, tied with Understanding ribbons and served on a Caring platter....

So, I'm done. I guess I won't be tagging anyone for now.... Lenguh tangan typing ni.. so gotta hit the sack... ZZZzzzzzZZZ

Phew.... What a week!

2009-01-13T13:27:00.004+08:00

I missed writing here. So many things I wanted to write but didn’t manage to get hold of my laptop for the last 9 days!

Although we were not First Timers in the kids-1st-day-at-school business, this time around with Haifa (Std 1) and Hanis (kindy)... wooo... it was very-very ‘mencabar’ indeed! As expected, they both cried lah...

The first day of school, Hanis refused to go into the classroom and cried incessantly. Look at Hanis - the mata bengkak & hidung merah... ciaaann...

The kindy was the same one that Hanna, Hasya and Haifa went when they were 4, 5 & 6yos but Hanis... she totally refused to join in her classmates. We thought that .. alaa... she’d adapt later, but then when it was Ayah’s turn to watch over her at the kindy (and I at Haifa’s Sekolah Kebangsaan), Ayah didn’t like what he saw.

He saw the 4yos were made to line up to go to the loo. In that one small loo, there were 1 sink, and 2 toilet bowls – one for girls and one for boys. They go in and pee (girl and boy next to each other), pull up their undies and walk off. When it came to the end of the line, then they’ll only flush. Can you imagine 25 kids doing that? Aiyooo... Why didn’t I see this when Hanna, Hasya and Haifa were the students there? Maybe I took things for granted?

So that was it. We scouted for another loo, oops.... another Kindergarten... and tried Hanis there. She cried, again as expected. But we were confident that she’d be ok.

And today’s the 1st time she didn’t cry! My Hanis didn’t cry! In fact she looked forward to go to school today. It’s just that she refused to wear the uniform since she wanted her teacher to do that for her.

I hope she’ll be ok in this new kindy. Although the RM1,3XX we paid for the first kindy will not be refundable, I’m pretty sure we made the right choice with this one.

My Hanis.... a ‘big’ girl now! Alhamdulillah!

Happy 49th Birthday Bemmie!

2009-01-03T00:22:00.003+08:00

I just realized that the posting for my eldest brother’s birthday wasn’t published. During my kelamkabut-ness that night, I only click 'save now' instead of 'publish post' it. Although I’ve already sms him at 12 midnight on his birthday, I hope this belated posting will speak the same as well:

My Big Bro Bemmie, Happy 49th Birthday! May your life is filled with happiness, success, murah rezeki, panjang umur and most of all – may you be blessed with a great health!

Amiin...

Happy New Year 2009!

2009-01-01T17:50:00.002+08:00

I know this is kinda late to wish everyone a Happy New Year. But it’s still January 1st, isn’t it?

So here’s wishing everyone a Happy New Year 2009! May this year be a blessed 365 days for you and your family. Let’s pray that 2009 will be a package of Happiness, Success, Good Health, Great Love, and Murah Rezeki to all of us, InsyaAllah.

Goodbye 2008 - It was a great year, Alhamdulillah. But let’s do’a for a better year, especially for the Palestinians... I don’t want to shed a tear on this first day of the year, but it’s so sad to see the lifeless bodies of the children...

Anyway, here are some pix of last night’s New Year’s celebrations at Ikano where we’ve brought the kids to enjoy its spectacular fireworks!

Salam Ma'al Hijrah 1430

2008-12-29T06:54:00.002+08:00

I would like to take this opportunity to wish all my muslim Brothers and Sisters - Salam Ma’al Hijrah 1430.

May this year brings us more Peace, Rahmat, Berkat, and increases our Iman and Taqwa... Amiin.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

2008-12-25T06:28:00.002+08:00

To all my Christian friends out there – Merry Christmas! Have a wonderful time with your loved ones :) Enjoy the egg nogs and the good food, ok?

To the rest – have a great time doing whatever you love doing! Nak rest ke, shopping ke, jalan-jalan ke...

I for one, is one happy mommy...yay..yay! I’ll be on leave until the 30th, and will work only for one day on the 31st. Then I’ll be on leave again from the 1st of January until the 11th. In other words, from today until the 11th of January, I'd only be working for one day. A long break, huh?

No, I’m not going anywhere la.. (though Switzerland and NZ are still on top of my wish-list!) Ayah and I are actually going to make ourselves permanent fixtures at our Hanis’s Tadika and our Haifa’s Sekolah Kebangsaan and Sekolah Agama when the schools reopen. Yes, in 2009, Hanis is going to the Kindergarten and Haifa in Standard One. Frankly, I still can’t figure out how we’re going to do the running, since both of them will be in the morning session in two different places.

I know for sure that my Hanis will cry on her 1st day, 2nd day, 3rd day... ooohh... maybe for the rest of the week... hmmmhhh... macamana ni...?

I just hope that my Haifa will be ok, since she’s been to school (kindergarten) since she was 4. Let’s hope that she’ll be ok in the Sekolah Kebangsaan and Sekolah Agama, especially when my Hanna and my Hasya will be in the same schools with her.

Oh, let’s worry about that later. Right now, I just wanna enjoy my ‘vacation’ at home :)

Selamat Hari Ulang Tahun ke 71 Ayahanda!

2008-12-19T06:27:00.008+08:00

Untuk Ayahanda tercinta

Kiranya bulan bisa bicara
Akan terucaplah kata-kata
Bagaimana anakmu ini
Mengagumimu...

Kiranya angin bisa menyanyi
Akan terdengarlah bait-bait
Bagaimana anakmu ini
Menyayangimu...

Walaupun kemarau curahan rasa
Setiap titik darah di tubuh ini
Tahu... dan Mengerti
Luahan itu cuma suara...

Selamat Ulang Tahun Ayahanda
Semoga dipanjangkan umur
Dimurahkan rezeki
Dipelihara kesihatan
Dipayungi kebaikan
Dijauhi segala kejahatan
Dilimpahi kesenangan dan kasih-sayang
Dikurniakan iman sejati
Diluaskan idea penulisan...

Amiin....

~Dari Anakanda sekeluarga~

Unwinding in PD

2008-12-15T23:55:00.011+08:00

We had a good 4D/3N time in PD. Although it was raining here in the Klang Valley, the weather in PD was great. Clear blue sky all the way except on Friday morning when it rained about 3 hours. It was such a relief that the kids, their cousin Hani and their Tok Mi and Tok Wan could enjoy the beach and the pool.

**1st pic: Hanis - the sand castle enthusiast!

It’s a good break for both Ayah and I actually. After what happened in my office the week before (I’ll write about this in my other posting), the sea breeze really put the sadness into coma. We got the time to unwind, loosen-up and relax.

Alhamdulillah.

**2nd pic: Hasya, Hanna, Haifa and their cousin Hani building the sand castles....

The only drawback was the 'not-so-clean' beaches along the Teluk Kemang area.

I wished they were cleaner... like Penang and Langkawi beaches....
or California.... (dream on!)

**3rd pic: Here's Haifa 'surfing'..hehehe...

**4th pic: Hanna, Hasya, cousin Hani, Haifa, Haziq, Husna and the maids in the pool

Luckily, the pool was okay.

**5th pic: Mak (Tok Mi) watching over her grandchildren...

Now we're back home. Mak, AYAH and Hani already went home yesterday.

Today was spent at the Sekolah Kebangsaan, Sekolah Agama, the Uniform shop, the Bookshop etc etc... and now everything has been bought and ready for the kids.

We made a stop at the Cineleisure and watched Cicakman2. Frankly, I was a bit disappointed...

Whatever it is, I'm all charged up and ready for work tomorrow.... One more thing though- to complete it up,... I think I'll go get myself a Chinese massage :)

Happy Aidil Adha!

2008-12-08T07:14:00.001+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha to all my Muslim brothers and sisters.

To those who are performing their Haji, I pray that tranquility and serenity are their best friends. And may they have Haji yang Mabrur!

To others who are celebrating Hari Raya Haji elsewhere, max out the time with your loved ones. And while you’re at this, please pray for the victims of the landslides in the Klang Valley who have lost their loved ones and their homes. It’s a very sad time for all of us....

My prayers and AlFatihah to those who had lost their lives to these tragedies. And for their loved ones – may they be strong to face the challenges in these hard times...

My prayers are all with you....

Giving in

2008-11-29T00:59:00.007+08:00

It made me wonder why we have to give in to other people or digest whatever we actually dislike for the fear of being retaliated against.

It happened to me several times. The latest one was when Ayah, Hasya and I were watching Quantum of Solace at Cineleisure recently. Since it was a last minute decision, we just managed to get the front row seats for the 9pm show. Behind us were a group of young foreigners.

The movie was great, but we didn’t get to enjoy it. Why?

The youngsters made so much comments that I felt like gagging them with my shawl! They acted as if they were watching TV at home and made comments for every scene! And they didn’t even care to whisper. Isshhh!

They also pushed our seats with their feet. Ayah turned and warned one of the boys. When my seat was pushed, I did turn and asked the boy not to do it again. It stopped, but the racket continued. I told Ayah to just let go. We stayed till the end but the movie was already too stale to watch.

I didn’t want to find fault with the youngsters because I believed anything could happen. What if we pissed them off? The things that they might have done... I don’t want to go into that....

The other example is about the security people in my housing area. We paid RM30 to have them to patrol at night. They did their rounds... but these past few months we realized that the rounds became lesser. Ayah wanted to stop their service, but I disagreed. What if they wanted to teach us a lesson and did something to prove that we still need their services? It gave me the creeps just to think about it...

Take that RM30. The non-uniformed security people might say that’s the monthly payment for their services. But to me – that’s my Protection Money.

Maybe I was influenced by what I read in the newspapers. Maybe I worry too much. But I guess it’s ok to feel that way. Better safe than sorry.... And protecting our loved ones comes first.

Right?

Cupcake 101

2008-11-23T20:48:00.007+08:00

The girls have been pestering me to bake some cupcakes for them. I’ve baked them a few times before, from scratch. Somehow, I never get to master the skill. I think, if I were to enroll in a cupcake-baking class for one whole semester, I’d still fail to make them right. I'm pretty certain of that :(

The cupcakes would always turn ugly on me. No matter how much I spoon the batter into the paper lining, the end result would still be hideous... Sometimes they’d tilt to one side, other times the batter would flow down to the baking holes in the tray and made a mess of everything... urrggghhh!

So this time, I just bought the ready-made cupcake-mix. And hired 4 girls to do the decorating part. The cupcake came out horrible as usual.... *sigh*.... but the girls managed to make them look much much nicer with the decorations.

Here are the 3, 6, 9 and 11 year old girls’ handiworks:

They had so much fun with the piping, choosing the tips, preparing the colors and planning the design. I just let them go wild with their imaginations.

There was only one drawback though - a messy kitchen afterwards! But it was sure worth it, since the most important thing has been accomplished - the happy girls enjoyed themselves, and I'm very sure that they loved every minute of it!

And ooh... they also get to pass my Cupcake 101 class with flying colors... :)

Happy 9th Birthday Hasya!

2008-11-21T06:42:00.004+08:00

My dearest Hasya,
Happy 9th Birthday sayang... Ibu & Ayah berdoa semoga Hasya dipayungi kecemerlangan di dunia dan akhirat. We love you very much and always pray for you to be a solehah daughter and a good Muslim. May you get the best in everything, sayang...

Happy Bithday.. Happy Birthday.. Happy Birthday.. Muaaaaahhh!

Every Year On Your Birthday

Every year, on your birthday,
I think about how glad I am
that you were born,
how thankful I am
to have you in my life...

Every year is another year
filled with the special joys you bring
just by being yourself...

Every year, when you open your birthday gifts,
realize what a gift you are
to everyone who knows you,
especially me...

Happy Birthday!

By Joanna Fuchs- http://www.poemsource.com

School's Over - Party time!

2008-11-20T00:13:00.004+08:00

I hope this time this entry can be posted. It’s been five loooong days of ‘fighting’ with Blogger. There was nothing wrong with my Streamyx but I just couldn’t post a new entry in my blog. It really was a pain in the... ehhhmm... neck.

Well, finally school’s over. The kids are all at home. You could hear their laughings and screamings from the NeverNeverland. I was tempted to put up a sign at the main gate that reads “Come join our party! It’s open 18-hour a day!” :P

School holidays to the girls when their parents are working would mean – art&craft sessions, food, TVs, DVDs, food, CDs, magazines, food, fightings, singings, food, games.... And that wasn’t typo when I mentioned ‘food’ several times - I guess somebody will crack the scale by the end of December..hehehe...

There were three events to go to last Saturday. One was the Sekolah Agama Penyampaian Hadiah for the top 3 students for each class. My Hasya was one of them but she wasn’t able to be there on that day. Her piano recital was also scheduled the same morning, and the taekwondo test in the afternoon. That was the 2nd time she didn’t get to go up the stage to receive her prize. The first time was her Ibu’s mistake – they reached the school 2 hours late!

The concert/piano recital went well. Hanna, Hasya and Haifa did pretty good. The taekwondo test went well too. Now that everything’s over, except for their squash classes, the girls are enjoying themselves like there was no tomorrow. I think if I were to stay home with them, I’d have to adjust my patience-o-meter to the maximum possible.

I could hear them laughing silly over SpongeBob on TV now. And it’s already 12:05 am! Bad mother! I guess I better go now and persuade them to sleep lah.

Or maybe I should stay up with them and watch the moody Squidward bullying Patrick?

My MIL and Dialysis

2008-11-12T07:27:00.005+08:00

We balik kampong on Saturday. It was a balik-hari trip with only Hasya and Haifa as the occupants of the back seat. Hasya didn’t mind missing the pirate-themed birthday party that she was supposed to go to that day. Deep inside me, I was happy that she wanted to tag along tho’ I knew that she was really looking forward to that party.

Anyway, the reason for the balik kampong was because my MIL has just been diagnosed to be suffering from kidney failures. The final test by the urologist will be done today and the results will determine the frequency of the dialysis she’ll have to go thru. But the probability of her going thru a 3-day-a-week session is very high. Looking at her, I just couldn’t imagine how she’s going to get her treatment done for three-times-a week which usually will last around 3 to 4 hours per session.

Since I was clueless on what kidneys and dialysis was all about, I did some readings. Apparently, the liver and the kidneys are sophisticated machines doing the cleansing of the blood in our body. The liver actually does the cleaning out of the impurities and the kidneys get rid of excess water and other waste products. Every day our kidneys process about 200 quarts of blood to sift out about 2 quarts of waste products and excess water! How about that?!

When the kidneys fail to work, dialysis will be needed. I just don't know how my MIL’s going to sit for hours waiting for the machine to pump the blood out from her body, thru a filter that removes the waste products and returns the clean blood back to her body.

Whatever the results are today, I just hope that everything will be smooth sailing for her..... May the absence of painfulness and sadness be bestowed upon her...

Happy 14th Birthday Husna!

2008-11-11T06:48:00.005+08:00

My dearest Sweet Husna - My first daughter. My special child,
Happy 14th Birthday sayang! May all our wishes for you come true!

My special one,
You and Abang Haziq have shown tremendous improvement these past few months. I don’t want to know why... or how... coz every little thing that both of you did - though it might be insignificant to others – was a milestone to be celebrated...

And today’s your birthday. Although you never asked for anything - Ayah, Ibu and your sisters love you and will always do’a for you. May all our do’as become Mustajab do’as!

Happy 14th Birthday Husna!!! Let’s cut the cake tonight!

Taming the Final Exams Tension.. Kids!

2008-11-04T22:26:00.006+08:00

I saw my three girls waiting for me when I reached home today. My Hanis (3yo), Haifa (6yo) and Hasya (9yo) looked excited. Ini mesti apa-apa ni, I thought.

Before I could pull the key out, my Hanna (11yo) opened the back door and jumped in. I turned to see her lying on the seat and saw that her face expression was somewhat sad.

I couldn’t ask her what was wrong, since Hasya was shoving some papers towards me. There were 2 cards and some Sekolah Agama exam papers.

Hasya : Ibu.. Ibu... Hasya ada 2 invitations untuk birthday party Ibu... satu on Saturday, satu on Sunday. Please Ibu, can I go?

Haifa : Best nya Hasya dapat pergi parties Ibu... Haifa pun best Ibu, dapat pergi chocolate factory esok!

A-ah la Hasya, you got taekwondo classlah. The exam’s next week, so you gotta go on both Saturday and Sunday. Bulan puasa hari tu kan dah sebulan rehat...

Hasya: Please Ibu... Please...

We’ll see.. Ok, Hasya?

By now Hanna was already out of the car. I could sense her tension. Hasya’s finals (Sekolah Kebangsaan and Sekolah Agama) were over today. Haifa’s Tadika assessment was also over. Tomorrow, Haifa will be going for a Tadika trip to a chocolate factory. She just couldn’t wait for tomorrow to come... Willy Wonka wannabe... Chocolate factory kan... And Hanna? She still has Sekolah Kebangsaan and Sekolah Agama finals to study for.

Itu yang Hanna tension tu. Hasya and Haifa were going to have ‘fun’. Haziq and Husna already went for their school trip before Deepavali that day. It seemed to her everybody else were ‘enjoying’ and she alone got to sit at her study table for 3 more days.

It was 6:45pm at the dinner table when she blurted her feelings out loud. Why Hasya could go to parties, why Haifa could go the chocolate factory – of all places! Why she gotta go for taekwondo classes for two days in a row when Hasya could skip one. Bla..bla..bla… and Hasya was arguing why she could go and stuff. Adoi... sakit kepala ku...

Just now, in Hasya’s room, I talked to Hanna.

Hanna... you saw HSM3 before the exam. You told me that your friends haven’t seen it yet, but you have. We did like 20 cupcakes last weekend and you did the toppings on most of them. I didn’t pressure you to study pun. But now when the exam’s here, you just have to do it. Don’t compare yourself with Hasya and Haifa coz they’re much younger than you. You’d been 6yo and 9yo before, so you must know how it was like then. When the exam’s over, you got like 2 months to do whatever you want. Nak buat paintings ke, buat sand castle kat beach ke, tengok wayang ke, main internet games ke....

Hanna nak buat jigsaw puzzle lah Ibu...

(Aikk.. of all things?) Oh... Ok. Jigsaw puzzle it is. OK?

OK Ibu.

Hmmh... that settled it. I just hope that the tension left her for good.... But I could anticipate that she’d feel the same thing tomorrow when Haifa (knowing how Haifa is) came back with her stories on the chocolate factory...

So I'm ready with the second round of the same-old same-old tomorrow..

**Sigh**

Our 17th Wedding Anniversary!

2008-11-02T16:23:00.006+08:00

Today marks our 17th Wedding Anniversary. Alhamdulillah.

There wasn’t anything special that we’ve done today, only the Sunday routine – sent the 3 girls for their squash practice and then to their taekwondo class.

Ayah suggested that we go out for a movie or have dinner just the both of us.... but I was a bit worried to leave the kids home alone when they will be having their finals tomorrow. I know that my requests or pleadings for them to study by themselves will fall on deaf ears especially when IBU is out of the house. Isshh....

So, although today’s a special day for the kids’ parents, it’s business as usual at home....

However, there are some things that I’d very much like to say here :

Ayah and the kids are truly the best things that ever happened to me.
Words aren’t enough to express how happy and fortunate I am to be truly blessed with six beautiful children and a terrific husband.

These past 17 years have seen Ayah and I coping with many happenings in life – Happiness, Sadness, Laughter, Crying… but no matter what happened, we emerged out stronger, firmer.... and most of all – closer.

We had a great 17 years together. Let’s hope that we’ll be blessed with more wonderful years to come :)

High School Musical3

2008-10-27T11:03:00.006+08:00

Haifa (my 6yo) called me up on Friday – Ibu please please Ibu, beli tiket untuk High School Musical. Haifa nak tengokla Ibu...

I can’t Haifa. It only starts today and I’m still in the office la. Weekend ni bolehla...

Puhleez Ibu puhleeeeeeez... (and she went on pleading...)

No Haifa. Weekend ni ok, but not today.... Bye!! I just had to put a stop to it, or Haifa would go on forever...

So, on Saturday, Ayah and I went to Cineleisure and reached there at 9:30am, but the ticket counters only opened at 10am. So we waited... demi anak-anaklah kan...

We bought 5 tickets (7:20pm) for Hanna, Hasya, Haifa, Hanis and their Ibu for HSM3 and 1 Bangkok Dangerous ticket (7:15pm) for the man-who-did-not-want-to look-sissy-watching-girls-movie.

After attending a birthday bash in Ampang, we went to The Curve and later watched the much awaited HSM3. The girls were all giddy with excitement.

And it was as expected – the girls said it was great. Even as a chaperone with an age double of Zac Efron’s, I’d still say that HSM3 was a good and sweet movie to watch. The girls loved it... and I’d say that I liked it as well.

And guess what, the man who watched Bangkok Dangerous said that the movie he watched was not up to his expectations.... Hah, tu lah... served him right...hehehe..

Happy Deepavali!

2008-10-27T08:08:00.001+08:00

To all my Hindu friends and readers, I wish you all a very Happy Deepavali.

My Ahli Syurga - Happy 15th Birthday!

2008-10-20T06:17:00.010+08:00

Venue: Pantai Medical Center. Date: 20th October 1993. It was 7:25pm when the baby was born. He was the firstborn of a 29yo father and a 27yo mother. After an excruciating labor pain of 18 hours, which was ‘shared’ by her Husband and Mother in the labor room, and after watching the sun went up at dawn until it set at dusk, (and in all those hours her Gynaechologist only came once in the morning!) the mother gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. It was such a frightening experience for the baby’s maternal Grandmother who waited outside the labor room when she saw her Grandson wasn’t crying and watching the nurses and the doctor scurrying away attending to the newborn who had just been delivered via forceps. Yes, it was a difficult birth indeed.

The newborn was named Zarif Haziq , and he was such a beautiful baby with lots of hair!

Their 2nd baby was conceived when Haziq was just 3mo. When Husna was born, Haziq was just crawling and didn’t show any signs of walking.

Realizing that their baby was somehow slow in his development, Haziq’s parents brought him for a thorough checkup at SJMC. The X-Ray result showed that Haziq had a dislocated hip on the left... thus at 1y+, Haziq went thru a major operation to correct this.

1995 Raya was spent looking after Haziq at home. He was in cast from his chest down to 1-inch to the toes for a month! It was such a trying time.... When he gained weight, a ‘window’ was made on the cast near his tummy so that he’d feel more comfortable.

After that major operation, Haziq learnt how to crawl again.

A year later, Haziq’s parents brought him to a Government Hospital as recommended by his doctor so that he could start his physiotherapy there. After a routine X-Ray, it was discovered that the bone was out of its socket again. Haziq’s parents were in shock! The doctor there then explained that it was normal - hip-dislocation could recur again and some patients went thru countless operations to correct that.

Then only Haziq’s parents realized that they’ve made the biggest mistake by agreeing to the first operation. Ya Allah... if only they knew about the multiple operations before.... They would never want to put Haziq in pain again... and thinking of the trauma that he went thru at 1y+ would definitely be a no-no although at that time Haziq was already 2yo+.

The doctor insisted that Haziq’s parents should make an appointment for the OT. When they said that they needed time to think things over, the doctor somehow insisted on one date (tak ada timbangrasa langsung!). They sort of of agree - Letak lah date apa yang doctor nak - since there were students there watching what was going on and the doctor ‘demanded’ a date.

But there was no way that Haziq's going to be put under that OT lights again. On that particular date, Haziq was having fun with his family, maternal Grandparents, his mother’s siblings and his cousins in Penang - having a blast with the Banana Boats and the jet-skis!

Now, although Haziq still can’t talk, he can walk. That was an achievement that both his parents are proud of.

Yes... that was my Haziq – my one and only SON – and the journey that he went thru in life. And today’s his 15th Birthday! Yay!

Haziq sayang,
Although you can't speak, nor can you cut your own birthday cake tonight, I know you’re happy as always. Despite the stares that you received every time we’re out, do remember that we’re always proud of you.

Though you may not understand this, you actually bring such joy and great rezeki in our lives.... You also taught us how to love unconditionally and to be strong in whatever we do. Remember, Allah knows best. It's all fated that you and Husna will be Ahli-ahli Syurga and became the glue in our family... the special ones who stick us all as one.....

If only you could see that all of us LOVE you so much, Haziq!

Again, HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAZIQ! Ibu, Ayah and your sisters hope you'll get the best in everything! My Ahli Syurga... Muaaaahhh!

Jannah's Story - How Lucky We Are

2008-10-16T07:18:00.004+08:00

Every morning, I’d send Haziq and Husna to the Special School that both of them are attending. Teacher Jannah – an Iraqian - would always come to greet me and get my special ones out of the car. She’d always smile, give her Salam and we’d have a small chat before I left for my office. However, last Friday morning she looked rather sad. Her puffy eyelids showed that she must have came down with flu or something.

Teacher Jannah, you’re not feeling well, aren’t you?

I’m OK... it’s just that my Father passed away after Raya.

I was stunned. I lowered down the volume of my radio.

Innalillah.... How old was he and how did it happen?

He was 63. He had a stroke. He also had High Blood. But he reached the hospital quite late. You see, there were so many road blocks... here and there.....many, many road blocks.. so when he reached the hospital, it was too late...

That’s so sad... how’s your Mother?

She’s staying put. You know what, the situation in Iraq is really bad. My siblings all have High Blood. And they are very young. Younger than me.

Why is that?

You see, since when we were young, when we opened our eyes, we saw people die everywhere. We hear bombs everyday. Life’s very very stressful for all the Iraq people. That’s why Iraq people have many sickness at young age. The effect of the war.... Most of us are scared of aeroplanes. If we hear the sound of aeroplanes, we’ll be terrified... We just can't help it...

Why didn’t you bring him here?

He was coming here. I spoke to him in Ramadhan, he told me that he wanted to come to Malaysia. He came here once and he liked it. He said Malaysia was a very peaceful country. He said he’d get his papers ready. When he died, my mother was cleaning his things and saw his passport. Everything was already in order. He was actually coming here...

I couldn’t help it. Tears were welling there, waiting to fall... Jannah was also fighting back the tears.

It was never meant to be Jannah....

If only he could reach the hospital earlier.... Then InsyaAllah he’d live...

Jannah, Allah has fixed it all. All are fated. There must be a hikmah in all these. I just hope that you are OK and your mom, your siblings too...

Yes, I know. Thank you. I’ll pass a Quranic verses in CDs to all the Muslim parents on Monday. I hope you can listen to the CD and sedeqah to my Father..

OK, TQ Jannah. Let’s pray that things will get better in Iraq. Take care, OK?

I left the school with a heavy heart. Somehow I knew that I should be more thankful for what I have now. Maybe some of us, including me, take Malaysia for granted... and forget that we are truly blessed to be living in this Peaceful Land. Look at Jannah, this is an Iraqian who lives in Malaysia for 16 years with her family and feels very grateful for the serenity that our Tanah Air has to offer.

Like Jannah, we should count our blessings too... and try not to take things for granted, not only with our Tanah Air, but with all the good and bad things that we have....

My 2008 Raya

2008-10-12T10:57:00.006+08:00

Raya in Alor Setar was a fantastic one. We went to Kodiang, Jitra, Tunjang, SP and houses around Alor Setar. It was such a tight schedule and Ayah made the what-to-do&where-to-go list that we actually followed (you’re soo good at that dear :)). We met so many people, relatives and friends. You see, there were 30 people in my own family (my parents, 5 siblings/spouses with kids). Add that with aunties, uncles and the whole clan of my father’s side, plus the clan from my mother’s side would probably made us meeting more than a hundred faces during Raya. How about that – what a lucky bunch we were!

The plan to go home to Alor Setar for Raya actually started in March08, when I had to purchase two flight tickets for my Hanna and my maid Nani. Since the MPV was unquestionably designed not to be tamped down with the weight of 11 people, and I was not going to drive my car (I never tried driving on a long journey before), we decided to buy the two tickets. So Hanna and Nani left earlier than us.

The journey home to Alor Setar on Sunday before Raya was a smooth one. Alhamdulillah. It took us only 4.5 hours to reach Alor Setar. Yay. But it took us 7 freakin’ hours from Alor Setar to KL on the Sunday after Raya (does that considered as swearing?). Talk about the heavy rain and the oh-ever-so-many-cars on the road! All the R&Rs were also jam-packed. I was praying that none of us would need to use the toilet.... but it was me who needed one! Isshh....

The most important thing was that we reached home safe and sound. That was all that matters, right?

So, today’s the 12th day of Syawal. Although everything’s BAU, the Raya mood obviously is still there. With open houses to attend to, I’m definitely still in the Raya mood. Perhaps I’m still a young girl at heart..hihihi...

Have a Wonderful Raya!

2008-10-01T06:32:00.002+08:00

To all my friends, relatives, fellow bloggers, visitors and all Muslims in the world - SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDIL FITRI!

I take this opportunity to MINTA AMPUN & MAAF for any wrongdoings I've done, or for anything I've written here that may have offended any of you out there.

May this Raya be a wonderful one to you and your loved ones.

Again, SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDIL FITRI & MAAF ZAHIR BATIN!!

Biskut-Dengar

2008-09-24T08:00:00.003+08:00

Come Raya, we’d usually hear of Biskut-Tunjuk and Kek-Tunjuk. This is when - instead of making them yourself - you just Tunjuk (point) at the Raya Biscuits/Cakes and buy them.

Last week I managed to add one more entry into my vocabulary – BISKUT-DENGAR.

Have you heard of it? Biskut-Dengar (dengar=listen) is when you order your Raya biscuits via phone without you knowing the look/taste/names of them cookies. It is actually meant for those desperados out there (moi, one of them!) who realized at the very last minutes that they haven’t ordered enough Raya biscuits and wouldn’t dare to do a random Biskut-Tunjuk for fear of getting bland-tasted biscuits (Wipedia – add this in, capish?)

Every year, I’d religiously write down the ‘tunjuk’ orders I’ve made into my notebook so that I know what biscuits/cakes I bought. This year I was a bit laid-back thus the lack of orders made. I found out on Wednesday last week that there were only 3 orders I made via my officemates – biskut samperit, biskut makmur inti susu and kuih gunting! My kids are sooo going to kill me for this! They love Raya biscuits, especially those chocolate ones. In fact I had to order a few balangs of biscuits to be consumed during Ramadhan for them earlier on.

I was lucky when this colleague of mine, Yani had an out-of-town friend who was coming to visit her and bring her the Raya biscuits she had ordered earlier. I asked Yani to call her friend whether there were still some for sale. And the answer was YES! I asked Yani to let her friend bring whatever she thought were good. I was that desperate!

And when I got the biscuits... and Alhamdulillah... they LOOK and TASTE gooood! Nasib baik.... Not bad for a Biskut-Dengar!

So now, I’m left with the Raya cakes. I think I’ll bake them myself lah... Or maybe I should do a Kek-Dengar? Hmmmhh....

Happy 46th Birthday Benjie!

2008-09-24T07:50:00.002+08:00

To my dear brother Benjie/AbangJie aka Kochie to his friends:

Happy 46th Birthday!!!

Wishing you a full-of-Happiness-and-Love birthday. All of us here hope that everything is beautiful easy for you. May Allah give you the best in everything!

You’ve been a supportive and a wonderful brother to me. And such a big influence you have on me. Thank you Benjie, for just being you :)

Happy 3rd Birthday Hanis!

2008-09-20T17:51:00.007+08:00

This is the last birthday cake we'll be having for the month of September. It's my youngest birthday today. Since I was out the whole morning till 5pm with Ayah, I just managed to get her pix after coming home just now.

So my dear princess Hanis - HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY!

You're such a petite 'lil girl that I didn't realized that you're such a 'big' girl now..hehehe....

Hanis, Ibu and Ayah hope that you'll be an anak solehah, a bright and caring girl and a tough cookie! Life is a long journey which is full of roses and thorns - so Ibu and Ayah pray that you'll be successful through out the journey no matter what happens. Remember that our do'a will always be with you Hanis.

Have fun with the clown and the Barbie doll(s) :) We'll cut the cake tonite after iftar ok?

Of Nuzul al-Quran and TV3

2008-09-18T13:02:00.001+08:00

Today is the 18th of Ramadhan. Yesterday was Nuzul al-Quran Day which falls on every 17th day of Ramadhan. Nuzul al-Quran as we know is the day to commemorate the revelation of the Holy Quran for the first time to Prophet Muhammad, pbuh.

Talking about Nuzul al-Quran, I remember the time I was on the national TV, nearly making a fool of myself.

It was Ramadhan 2006 or 2007 (which I can’t really recall). It was a routine for us to get some kuihs for iftar at our favorite restaurants or at the nearby Bazaar Ramadhan. I was walking with Ayah and the girls when I was stopped by this pretty lady. I didn’t realize who she was at that time but when the microphone was out, and the video cameraman came into view, my first reaction was ALAMAK, habis aku!

That girl was a TV3 reporter and she started shooting off the questions at me. I was nervous, what with the camera and people surrounding us and all. I remember the Q&A went something like this:

There was an increase in sugar price recently, what do you do to cope with it?
Emmm... aaahh... Our sugar intake is not on the high side, so I think we’ll manage it.

Does your husband help you at home?
Emmm... aaahh... Of course he does. But since both of us are working, the daily chores are done by the maids.

Do you argue about whose kampong to Balik Kampong to for the Raya?
We’ve made a pact when we got married. Only one kampong per Raya. Alternate system. So no problemlah.

What is Nuzul Quran?
Whaaa...? Could you please repeat the Question again? (duh... )

What is Nuzul Quran?
Emmm... aaahh... Hari pertama turunnya Quranlah.

Ok Kak, TQ.

So clever of her to make people Terkedu. The first three questions were on personal/family life, but the 4th question macam ‘out of scope’ pulak. When people ‘terkedu’ and nervous, they tend to make a mistake or start babbling.

My Mak called me later to let me know she saw me on TV3 answering the sugar (question1) and the Balik Kampung (question3). But I couldn’t wait to know about the Nuzul al-Quran question.

Until a few days later, an office colleague came to me and said:
”Kak Ja, I saw you on TV ”
Was it on the Nuzul al-Quran? Did I Iook and sound like a fool?
“No, you looked ok apa, and you gave the correct answer. Raaamaaai betul bagi jawapan salah.”

I guess the reporter was the one who made it difficult by posing the ‘out-of-scope’ question after asking the first three. Or else people will know what to answer. I wouldn’t want to know how embarrass I’d be to my children if I answered it wrongly.... Issshh....

Happy 44th Birthday, my dear Hubby!

2008-09-16T08:30:00.007+08:00

To the man who stole my heart 17 years ago – (it's still in his possession!)

May your 44th year be a wonderful one!

A special day like this
Is the perfect chance to show
That I love you very much
More than you'll ever know

So even when I forget
To say these words each day
Remember that I love you
More than I say

You brighten up my life
With memories and dreams
As the years pass
They get better it seems

You had my heart
Right from the start
The love for you in it
Will never part....

May all your wishes come true and may Allah gives us the best in everything, dear.

(poem source: http://www.things-to-say.com)

Happy 11th Birthday Hanna!

2008-09-14T11:47:00.015+08:00

My dearest Hanna,

14 September 1997... but it seemed only yesterday that I first held you in my arms in SJMC labor room. You were such a beautiful baby although at that time you were covered with blood and white vernix :)

Now you’re a young lady of 11. My girl, you have such a long way to go in life. And I pray with all my heart that you’ll get the fullest of what life has to offer. Remember that solat is the pillar of everything. Be tough, strong, and do your best so that you may endure come what may.

HAPPY 11th BIRTHDAY HANNA!

I love you very much.... MMmmuuuuaaaaaahhhh!!

Since you don’t want me to put your recent pix here (malu ke?), I scanned two from your one-year-olds album... hehehe... GOTCHA!

This pic was taken on your 1st birthday... that was what - 10 years ago?? Wow... you've grown soo much Hanna!

Happy 89th Birthday Tok!

2008-09-10T16:16:00.003+08:00

This month is full of birthdays to celebrate and this is the first of the series of birthdays that are yet to come.

Today’s my paternal GrandMother’s birthday - Che Jah Lebai Othman of Kodiang, Kedah.

So here goes --- HAPPY 89th BIRTHDAY TOK!

Semoga Tok panjang umur, sihat walafiat, tenang di dalam pelukan keimanan and ketaqwaan, bahagia bersama anak-cucu-cicit-piut, dan dipelihara di dalam kebaikan dunia dan akhirat. Amiin.

Counting Sheep

2008-09-02T16:32:00.002+08:00

I colored all my sheep with all colors I had in mind and decided that pink was the best color a sheep could look good in. It reminded me of cotton candy with four legs... The fluffy pinks melted in your mouth... aaahh...pure heaven.....

Eh, what am I babbling about?

I counted sooo many sheep last night that I’m still seeing them in front of me as I’m typing this. My head is spinning, my eyelids heavy and my mouth yawning 60 times in a minute. Thanks to my mistake in taking the wrong supplements at night – I was wide awake last night until 4:00am!

Since I forgot to take my supplements for the first day of puasa, I kept reminding myself to do it right for the second day. Last night, in haste, instead of taking my Glucosamine+Chondroitin, I took Surbex Zinc - a high potency B complex – that according to Abbott is to help increase your energy levels and improves your stamina! There I was – in the darkness of my bedroom, counting sheep like there was no tomorrow!

But you know what, while counting and coloring sheep and reciting some surahs, I could hear the breathings of my loved ones in the room with me. How those sounds brought tears to my eyes... and how grateful I was that they were alive and healthy despite those ‘noisy’ sounds they made.

I was also grateful for my children still want to sleep with me. Only Haziq sleeps in his room... the five girls are all my sleepingmates!! They each have their own room but when it comes to sleeping at night, they like to sleep with us.

Whatever people may say, I believe that as long as your children want to sleep with you, let them be. Once they grow older, they’ll slumber out in their own rooms. I just want to cherish the time while we still have it.

What about the parent’s privacy? Well, there are empty rooms to count sheep in :)

SELAMAT HARI KEBANGSAAN & SELAMAT BERPUASA

2008-08-31T00:01:00.008+08:00

To all Malaysians:
SELAMAT MENYAMBUT Hari Kebangsaan ke 51
..... Sambut dengan Jiwa yang Merdeka!

To all Muslims :
SELAMAT MENYAMBUT Bulan Ramadhan Al-Mubarak
..... Sambut dengan Jiwa yang penuh Ketenangan dan Keimanan!

Why I don't own a Bungalow - according to Haifa

2008-08-29T22:28:00.005+08:00

Hanna and Hasya had the piano exam today. After more than 5 years of learning the notes, this was the first time they were taking the exam. Their mother was more nervous than the girls, so you can imagine how her teeth were making the clattering noises when Hanna’s name was first called. Then Hasya’s. At that moment I understood how all the Mothers who’d been there felt like whenever their kids were to sit for big exams. And this was just a piano exam, not big ones like UPSR or PMR or SPM. How would I feel if my kids were to sit for the big exams??

I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Anyway, after the exam, we and the girls went to MV and later Bangsar Village. On the way to NPE, we took the shortcut thru the big bungalows/mansions in Bangsar. I was trying to make a point with my girls who had jaws on their laps looking at those big bungalows! Never mind the OOOOHs and the AAAHHHs sound they made.

Tengok rumah-rumah besar tu. Diorang belajar pandai sangat masa sekolah dulu, tu yang diorang boleh afford rumah-rumah besar macam ni.

And I added some more... If you want big houses like these, kena belajar pandai-pandai lah. Nanti boleh beli apa yang mahu.

There came a comment from the back of the car -

Ibu tak pandai lah masa belajar dulu. Sebab tu lah tak ada rumah besar macam ni..

Alamak terkedu aku. What should I say now? Hanna and Hasya were laughing like hyenas. Heeelp Ayah...!

Taklah, Ibu pandai apa... masa belajar dulu..

Tapi tadi Ibu kata kena belajar pandai sangat baru dapat ada rumah besar macam ni. Jadi Ibu tak pandai sangatlah ...

Hmmhh.. betul jugak..alahaiii ...

Ayah was smiling ear to ear. Hanna and Hasya were laughing uncontrollably.

... And me? I managed to Tersenyum Kelat..

Haifa..Haifa... :)

Mega Sale Marathon Shopping

2008-08-24T22:15:00.002+08:00

A week before the school holidays:

Ibuuu, betis Hanna sakit lagi lah Ibu.

My God, after like 4 days, she could still feel the aching? The 7-hour of marathon shopping was last Monday, Hanna, how could you still feel the pain?

OK OK - I’m Guilty as charged. I admit I’m a bad mother. I was an inconsiderate mom who made her two children skipped schools just so that they could tag along with her to MidValley. But I didn’t blackmail them or anything. They were all full of smiles that day. They liked it, especially when the exam was just over and they wanted to spend some quality time with me - besides getting new shoes and clothes for Raya of course.

I don’t like to procrastinate when it comes to buying things for my children. I made a vow earlier this year that I won’t be doing what I had been doing all these years – go shopping for Raya during Ramadhan! This year, I don’t want to be caught in the throngs of people who seemed to like what I liked. In the end, it was very frustrating when you got hold of the one that you desired but couldn’t get the size that you wanted. Or you liked the one on the mannequin, but that was the last piece and the wrong size. Or worse, you couldn’t find anything for anybody at all!

That was why I took leave on Monday and went shopping with Hanna and Hasya.

There were a zillion things to buy. Imagine how many blouses, t-shirts, jeans, pants, skirts, gowns, sandals and shoes that made up the long list of my To-Buy things:

Let's do a simple math:

There are 11 people living under the same roof with me. Six of them are my dear children, another three my maids, my dahhling Ayah and moi!

1) Each of my maids needs 3 blouses/t-shirts, 2 pants/jeans, a baju kurung and a pair of sandals – that makes it 7 items for each. Total : 21 items altogether.

2) Each of my 5 girls needs 4 blouses/t-shirts, 2 jeans, a baju kurung and a pair of sandals/shoes – that makes it at least 8 items for each. Total : 40 items. Don’t forget the extra skirts/gowns and stockings for the younger three which equals to 6. So, the Grand Total for the 5 girls : 46 items

3) My only boy – 3 jeans/slacks, 5 shirts/t-shirts, socks, a pair of sandal and a baju Melayu. Total : 11 items

4) Ayah – TBD
5) Moi - TBD

(Post-script Correction):
The total amount of things to be bought was 21+46+11 = 78! Minus the Baju Kurungs and the Baju Melayu that I’ve already bought/ordered (all 11 of them), and minus Items 4 and 5 (which aren’t important), the Grandtotal of the things that needed to be bought was 78-11 = 67!

I'd never accomplish buying those even if I had 4 arms! Not while you’re fasting or got pushed and pulled during a weekend sale. So I know I made the right decision to buy them on Monday, with the Mega Sale going on especially.

What left, you ask me?

I’m only left with less than 10 items to buy now. Pretty impressive, huh?

Draw the Line

2008-08-24T11:35:00.005+08:00

I know it's my blog. And it's supposed TO BE :

1) where I can write how & what I feel
2) my outlet to vent & let off steam
3) 'MY'-time - where I can have the "MY-time" all to myself
4) sort-of a journal where my children can read when they're older
5) my realm of infinity

This morning Ayah asked me to remove one of the entries I wrote earlier. He said - "Jangan cari pasal".

I guess he was right. That entry might hurt some feelings. And I don't want to lose some friendships just because I wrote what I wrote.

At this age, friends and relatives are very much important. The older you get, the more you treasure what you have. And it's important to multiply that rather than having the numbers slashed off ... just because.

Come to think of it, although this cyberworld offers borderless/limitless opportunity for me to write whatever I want to, it's actually up to me to sift thru the cans and cannots.

"The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away."
- Wilson Mizner