My Mak

Back in 2009, on Mother’s Day, I wrote a posting on how I felt about my Mak.

How much I loved her. How much she meant to me. How grateful I was for all the things, sacrifices and everything she did for me.

How I loved our at-least-5-times-a-week phone conversations and enjoying every minute of them listening to her stories.

How I appreciated her for lending me her shoulders and ears when I was down. How I valued the tips and advices she gave. How much it truly meant for us in helping us coping with having two special children and during our ups and downs.

How happy I was to see the sparkle in Mak’s eyes or the happiness in her voice everytime she was with good news. And just how painful it was for me to see or hear her cry.

I wrote about the unconditional love she gave, and about why she never once raised her voice to me. How I loved her babying her grown-up children and grandchildren. And how I adored her perfections... and imperfections.

I wrote about how great a cook she was. How I loved her air tangan. Of how contagious her smiles and laughters were. Of how gentle the words she spoke. Of how much I loved her that it hurts.

I remember writing how I wanted her to be there forever for me and my family.

I wanted her to be IMMORTAL. And that I know was simply impossible.

That was when I stopped writing the entry. I just couldn’t fathom the thoughts of not having her anymore in our lives. And it felt rather childish, a 43yo wishing her mom to live forever. Get a grip, I told myself. Nothing lasts forever.

Thus I made this post instead.

How I wish I’ve posted the first entry which I’ve deleted. So that she knew how much she meant to me when she read my blog. How much I loved her.

Now my Mak is gone.

She who meant the world to me. Whom I still need. Whom I never dared to imagine could die, had died.

But Allah knows best. Although it was sudden, we were given the chance to say our goodbyes when she was in a coma. We gave her our hugs and kisses. We held her hands. We talked to her. We recited prayers and gave her our do’as. In her deep sleep we knew she’d be in safe hands when she was ready to leave.

My heart was torn to pieces as I struggled to prepare for her loss.
And within that <60 hours, she left us. Peacefully.

Exactly two months ago.
Thursday 24th November 2011 @ 3:57am.
She was 69. Massive Subarachnoid Hemorrhage.

It was excruciatingly painful to lose someone you love.

But I have accepted everything with my utmost redho.

Innalillahi wainna ilahiroji’un – From Allah We Came and Unto Him is Our Return.


.................... 9th August 1942 - 24th November 2011 ...............

May Allah grant my Mak, DATIN RAHMI JURAU, the highest place in the Jannah. Semoga Mak tenang di sana di samping orang-orang yang Beriman. Amiin.

**To those who still have their Maks, or Ayahs – ‘enjoy’ having them in your lives while you can coz when she/he’s gone, they’re REALLY GONE**

I'm 43

First off, I’d like to thank all my family, relatives and friends who sent me Birthday wishes and prayers via Facebook, emails, SMSes and calls. Thank you sooo much.... I really appreciate your thoughts and do’as :)

Yeap, I turned 43 three days ago, 15th August. And Alhamdulillah, I feel great about it. I feel truly blessed for being given the chance to continue my journey in life with my loved ones for the past years and many years to come, insyaallah. And I pray that the life of my loved ones and friends be filled with Good health, Happiness, Love, Success, Umur panjang, great Rezeki and showered with Berkat and Imaan. May all of us be blessed in all areas in life. Ameen...

OK, what did I do on my birthday?

Well, the Saturday started off early in the day with Dear Hubby and I doing our marketing at Pasar Tani Kelana Jaya. Then went to my office to get the birthday gifts I left in my office drawer for my maid Tini who happened to share the same birthday with me.... only she’s 20 years younger...hahaha... Rushed home to fetch the girls for their taekwondo class, left them with the Master, did some errands and had brunch at the ever-so-packed restaurant.

I saw something I haven’t eaten for years – pulut+kelapa-parut+ikan masin. Not my favorite though... but I suddenly had this vision of my Mak’s cooking and this was one of the menus she‘d usually do when requested by Ayah. I’m not a pulut eater, so I couldn’t finish it. While pushing the plate away, I suddenly went blurry eyed. Teringat Mak pulak ...huhuhu...

Went back to the complex to get the girls, got home, showered etc and left for Bukit Jalil National Squash Center to meet up with the Squash Queen– Nicol David! Hanna, Hasya and Haifa were so excited to see the World’s no1 (I'll put some pix in my next post).

Went to Amcorp Mall straight from Bukit Jalil to check out some ‘things’ for my birthday gifts. Didn’t materialize tho’, instead we ended up buying some DVDs and had an early dinner at Salero Negori.

Came home, bought 2 cakes (one for me and one for Tini the maid), showered etc and had the ‘cake cutting ceremony’ at 9pm.

I was dead tired when my head hit the pillow that night. But I couldn’t help smiling when I realized how great it was to be able to do all these. Syukur came to mind. Syukur Alhamdulillah for the opportunities given to me - to taste the sweetness or the bitterness in what life has to offer, with great companies to share them with.

(I think I didn’t imagine having a few more of those crow’s-feet when the clock struck 12 to mark the end of my special day, but I'm pretty sure I fell asleep that night wearing a smile).

Oh, here’s an excerpt from the 14-A4pages birthday ‘card’ given by my cheeky Haifa:
You are my Stars
You are my Heart
You are my Love
You are my Moon
You are my Flowers
You are my Butterflies
You are my Sun
You are my Dragonflies
You are my Diamond
You are my Camera --- aiik?
You are my Everything
(Ibu, masa Haifa punya birthday, please belikan icecream cake. Selepas tu, belikan Rabbit, Cat, Hamster, Parrot, Bird, Fish, Burung Pipit and Frog)

LOL!

Away From Home

Would you believe me when I say that after all these years (after working with the same company for more than 18 years, and married for nearly 18 years), I only left the comfort of my home (outstation) for less than the digits on both of my hands combined?

Whenever I was involved in a project, and when the time came for me to go see the customers, there would be a good soul in my project team who would gladly take my place. And I’d be more than happy to switch places. Although sometimes I thought that it would be nice to see some new faces and places, I felt that I’d be needed more at home, especially when the children were smaller and my hyperemesis gravidarum was at its peak.

Hmmhh.... no wonder I susah naik pangkat.. LOL!

Anyway, that’s why I’m a bit worried now. I’m gonna get myself occupied this coming weekend with the tasks of removing those leeches from my arms and legs and flying like a fox and building those rafts by the sea and counting the number of mosquito bites on my bare skin and wrestling a Burmese python and hunting those wild boars....

I know I exaggerated a 'lil there.... but ... yeap, I’m going for my company teambuilding this coming weekend. For 2 nights, 7-9 Aug. Urrgghh!

I know it’s not a big deal to some people who are so used to travelling, but it is to me. I’m now a confirmed IT nerd, who can’t leave the comfort of her desk/home for an adventure out there in a jungle so green and the sea so blue. I’m so ashamed of being a pessimist, but I can’t help feeling that this is soooo NOT ME now. As a teenager, I’ve climbed a few hills, went thru the jungle a few times and drank the cold sweet water from the streams, thanks to those camping trips I made when I was in MRSM.

But now? At 43? Alamaaak... lecehnya!

Since it’s compulsory to attend, I’ll have to go but I’ll be missing Hanna, Hasya and Haifa’s swimming competition in Cheras which will be held on the 8th and 9th of Aug. Kesiannya the girls.... I won’t be there to cheer for them and watch them compete.

Sigh.

And please... oh please don’t make it rain there in Lumut. I hate those pacat and lintah!

My Ramblings on Shoes

I love buying shoes, ever since I was a student back in the States. But my hectic lifestyle as a student (and worker – in the University’s Bookstore) would prevent me from wearing anything else other than my Nike or Reebok most of the time. So, I’d only resort to only window-shop whenever I went to the malls. I was used to having to swallow my saliva in a style that only Pepsi drinkers would know – when the gulping sound could be heard from miles away! And I’d be drooling at the same time, while my hands in my jeans pocket trying to count the greens that I had. That happened only when I saw a pair of something that really caught my eyes – yes – SHOES!

That was why I loved summers in California. I got to wear my sandals to the beach. Or went shopping in them. But since I never skipped taking summer classes during my 4 years there, I’d still have to wear my University sweaters, shorts, my worn Reebok and the JanSport backpack to school.

It was when I graduated and started working in a mall that I began my new hobby – buying shoes! Getting my first paycheck in the real world (the University Bookstore job as the Price Changer wasn’t really considered as one, ok?), saw me spending my dough on two pair of sandals! At that time I still couldn’t afford to buy branded shoes, so I practically adopted Payless ShoeSource as my buddy-store. Since I worked in a mall, every lunch I’d walk around and never missed trying a few shoes (and most of the time, buying) at the store. That was my era in high-heels/stilettos!

I still remember those leather sandals from Brazil. Loved them. They were so comfortable and durable.

You see, the major difference between those people selling shoes in the States and Malaysia is the way they treat their customers. There, those Uncle Sam’s people would ask you to sit down on the stool, hold your feet and put the shoes on for you. Tak geli pun. Unlike here (oklah, maybe not all).

Imagine this – you’re a mom with 4 small kids in tow and one crying baby in your arms asked for a pair of shoes for your no4. The salesperson would come and open up the box and shove the shoes to you. You’d then have to squat down (with the crying baby still) and tried several times to put the shoes on the no4 who’d be running here and there. And you’d then scream your lungs out for her to come and stand still so that you could make her put them on. The baby in your arms would cry even harder.

And guess what the salesperson would be doing all the while? Taking the dirt out of her fingernails or staring into nothing while playing with her hair, or simply trying to pop her oozing pimples, pretending she didn’t hear a thing! And when you ask for her help, she’d say that it’s the right size and it fits your no4 like a glove. Seeshhhhh...

Ok, you don't have to imagine being that mother. She was me!

My patience was tested again recently. Since I'm currently into wedges, I saw one pair of Clarks in the Curve a few weeks back and had been trying to get my hands on them... but to no avail.

** This is Siver Ash in tan leather**

I went to a few Clarks store but couldn’t get what I wanted – it was either the size wasn’t available or the color I liked was out of stock. So one day I went to the Clarks section in OU Jusco. The Clarks salesgirl (or probably the supervisor lah judging from her ‘kerek’ness) was standing next to some boxes writing something (or pretending to). I politely asked her :
“Excuse me dik, do you have the new wedges?” (I realized that there were no new shoes on the rack.. tak stock-up ke?)
“Apa ada kat situ saja kak”, she said to me without even glancing my way.
“Apa yang latest kat sini ye dik?”, I asked again.
“Apa yang ada kat situ saja kak”, came the reply.

Hisshhh... Hangin aku satu badan! Macam nak baling kasut saja kat muka dia! But I didn’t know why I just left. I should’ve said something bitter to her.. but I guess I wasn’t in the mood for a fight.

I think there’s a blessing in all that. Last week, while in Sunway Pyramid to catch Harry Potter’s latest movie with Dear Hubby, kids and maid, I found what I was looking for! To my surprise, the Clarks store in Sunway had so many varieties to choose from. And I managed to score this one:

** This is Speed Boat in tan leather**

So practical and comfy. Love this wedges!

**Now I remember what I've forgotten to do yesterday - to sort out the 6 pairs of shoes I have in my car!

Spending Quality Time

The 2-week school holiday’s finally over. The first week was spent in the hospital and at home since my Haifa and my Hanis were still under quarantine. We had visitors - my parents, my sister and BIL who came to send my nephew off to UIA. The second week was indeed quality time spent with the children and Dear Hubby. We had a great and relaxing 3D2N at Palace of the Golden Horses Hotel. They were in the swimming pool until they changed colors!

Me? I didn’t set even one toe into the pool! And I didn’t even read a single line from the books I brought with me. I’d usually read at least one book every time we stayed at the hotel. But this time, I was just being plain lazy. I took hundreds of photos of my children in the pool and around the hotel when we had our evening walks. Most of the time I stayed on the balconies of our four units, facing the pool and watched my loved ones creating havoc with their antics :)

The kids in the pool with the maids
Watching them enjoying themselves made my heart went soft. And my whole being was blanketed with unagitated state and calmness that was very hard to explain. The breeze that played over my face carried the sound of their contagious laughters, and I sat there feeling such joy from all of that. That was a reflection of a contented life. Alhamdulillah.


My Haifa and my Hasya feeding the fish

The spots on Hasya, Haifa and Hanis’s hands, feet and mouths from Coxsackie were all gone. We brought the girls to see Night at the Museum 2 and Zac Efron’s 17 Again. Watching 17 Again really made me feel so old, and I thought – would I go back to 1983 - when I was 17 - if I were given the chance to do that? Would I make any changes in the past?

Maybe I’d appreciate my family, friends and teachers more, strategize any paths to be taken, look positively at all angles in life and... be more open by letting go of any bottled-up feelings that I had with certain people I knew then. And of course I'd study HARDER! Who knows I’d be multi-millionaire ka....hahaha!


My Hasya and my Hanis


Anyway, later in the week, we did some gardening together. Dear Hubby and I went to Sungai Buloh to get some new plants. Penuhla jugak satu kereta.

The girls helped, of course, especially my Haifa who planted weeds (read: not marijuana!), instead of getting rid of them, LOL!

What? No Wedding?

Dear Hubby received a wedding invitation card around two weeks ago. It was on his desk when he came into the office. He brought the card home and it was sitting there in the mengkuang basket for like more than a week before he called me up at home last Friday to check on the Bride-and-Groom’s names. I just texted him their names to which he replied – check the groom’s parents, coz both the bride and groom r not in the office email profile. So when I checked the card, I realized the groom’s mother was someone we actually knew. So that settled it.

And I didn’t look at the card until the assumed wedding day itself, which was on the day after, Saturday the 23rd.

I had my usual Saturday breakfast (hailam coffee and kaya-butter bun)with my Hanis at the nearby restaurant while waiting for my Hanna, Hasya and Haifa to finish up their taekwondo class. It occurred to me then that I didn’t really read what was on the card. What if it was not today, I thought. But I just brushed it aside, and reminded myself to check it when I got home.

Coming back, I had to fetch Dear Hubby from the car workshop where he sent his car to get all his tires changed. And I totally forgot about the card. I had a quick shower and got ready with my kenduri attire. My Hanis wanted to tag along, so we brought her with us. We knew we had to be back before 4pm since the girls would be having their swimming lessons at 4:30pm.

Anyway, off we went. The wedding was in Batu Caves. I looked at the card for the map. Frankly, it wasn’t me at all that day. The usual me would read the card from top to bottom and left to right. But nope, not this time. The map mentioned a Makro Hypermarket on the left of the road, but what we saw was a Tesco. After 10 minutes, we realized something wasn’t quite right. So I called our friend, the groom's mother. It went something like this:

Me : Hi Ros*****, this is DDI.
Ros : Oh... hi DDI. How are you?
Me : Ros.. we couldn’t find your house. I think we’re lost.
Ros : (now sounded confused...) which DDI is this?
Me : Z***’s wife.
Ros : Z***? (now she got more confused) oooh... you’re coming to the wedding...
Me : u-huh
Ros : The wedding’s next monthla... sorry...
Me : (terkedu and started laughing) Oh is it? (laugh some more) BTW, there was no Makro on the way here...
Ros : Hahaha....I made a mistake.... It’s Tesco actually. Sorry DDI, I’m out at the moment or else you can come over.
Me : TQ (still laughing) Our mistake pun... bye!

My eyes darted back to the card. The wedding’s on 27th of June! More than a month to go!!

I felt like a fool for not noticing. Who in the first place mentioned that the wedding was on Saturday? Dear Hubby admitted -he did- but he said wedding cards are usually given like two weeks prior to the wedding, so he just assumed that it was that Saturday... and... errr... expected his Dear Wife to do what she always did – READ!

Aiyo!

The good thing that came out of this (other than listening to my Hanis's rendition of London Bridge is Falling Down and Old McDonald in the car) was we got to try the new DUKE highway that people were talking about. Pretty fast. Impressive.

And so we had our lunch at JM Bariani House in Subang Jaya instead. Macam nasik kenduri jugak, kan?

The funny thing was - the couple with two kids on the next table started a conversation with Dear Hubby when I went to wash my hands. Since it was mentioned that we just came back from a kenduri, apparently Dear Hubby had to 'bohong sunat to save face’. He had to say that we tak puas makan at the wedding, rather than telling the nice couple that we were two meatheads who got the wedding date wrong! LOL!

My Lil Bro is 37 Today!

It was the year of 1972 when a 30yo mother gave birth to a cute baby boy. The boy was the fifth sibling in the family. The fourth sibling - Ja, a girl - was 6yo at the time. She just couldn’t understand why this baby was getting all the attentions from those well wishers who came to her house. The houseguests kept on increasing day by day and this made Ja rather jealous of the attentions that the newborn was getting. After all, she was the princess of the house for six whole years! This newborn was bringing chaos to her world, so she thought.

Now, at 43 yo, she could still remember the conversation that took place in her house at 108, Kampung Baru, Alor Setar.

Pak Ngah Ariffin (now Arwah) : Ja, suka dak dapat adik?
Ja : Dak
Pak Ngah Ariffin : Awat tak suka?
Ja : Tak suka lah. Pak Ngah nak, ambiklah.
Pak Ngah Ariffin : Pak Ngah ambiklah, ka Ja nak juai?
Ja : Satu ribu (or was it satu ratus?)
Pak Ngah : Oklah, Pak Ngah bayaq, nanti Pak Ngah ambik adik tu.
Ja : (somehow felt rather bad) Tak maulah Pak Ngah.
Pak Ngah : Awatnya?
Ja : (couldn’t answer.. and left. She could still remember the orang-orang tua laughing)

So a few days after that, she saw the baby sleeping on her mother’s bed. He was all alone, all cute and clean. She climbed the bed and looked at the baby closely. She was curious. So this was the baby who was stealing the limelight. He was kinda cute, she thought. What if I step on his face? Would he cry?

So Ja lifted up her foot slowly... and when it barely touched the baby’s nose, she stopped. Suddenly she realized that she actually liked this boy. She remembered Mak saying something like this boy was going to call her Kak Ja when he could speak. She quite liked the thought.

And she left the bed. The baby boy was left unharmed.

ADIK,
That was my two Dosa I made to you! Although I can’t remember a lot of things when we were younger, those two I remember crisp and clear. There you go - Confessions of a Sister!

I’m extremely glad that I didn’t step on your face Adik, or you won’t be having the mancung nose you have now..hahaha!

HAPPY 37th BIRTHDAY ‘LIL BRO! May you get the best in everything you do. May you be blessed with great health, abundance and happiness, lots of love and laughters and most of all, be blessed with a beautiful heart and imaan. May you and your beautiful family live life the best throughout the year, and many more years to come!


Adik on his 4th birthday in 1976.

Fishing Déjà vu

We were looking for this Sports/Hobby shop in Bandar Sunway on Monday to get Dear Hubby his thermo guard wetsuit for his 3x/wk swimming exercises. We found it after 20 minutes spent searching thru the fierce rain.

Once I stepped into the shop, I was overwhelmed by a sense of familiarity. I was thinking – these things are so familiar, but what are they called? I couldn’t recall the names of the long poles, the round-thing behind the glass, the red&white globes and those things hanging from the wall. I stood there in awe, watching these things that used to be my companions. It took me quite a while... when suddenly all these vocabularies came flooding in - sinkers, jigheads, hooks, rods, reels, lures, lines, flies, rigs, floats, baits, swivels, Shimano, Penn, Daiwa, fighting belts etc etc.

You see, I used to love fishing. It was when I was in my early twenties studying in the States and lived a few blocks away from the North Pacific Ocean. Yeap, I was deep into fishing. You can call me a hardcore fishing enthusiast or Smelly Mackerel if you like..hahaha... but really, I was like that once. Every week, or whenever there was a vacant in my schedule, I’d go fishing with my buddies. On the pier, took a boat to the barge, or went deep-sea fishing at dawn and at dusk.

The best part of it all was when you got a nibble. It didn’t matter if you got to catch the fish or not. The joy of getting a nibble was enough to boost the spirit. And if you were lucky, the satisfaction of reeling the fish in was unexplainable. I remember catching Mackerels, Seabass, Sand Sharks, Barracudas, Snappers, Gelama (I forgot what Gelama is called in English), Halibuts and Stingrays. But Yellowtails were the real fighters, so I never did win them.

Fishing taught me to be patient - learn how to think positively and wait for the good to come. When you got your rod rigged, held the rod in your hand and began the waiting process. To breathe in the seabeeze, enjoy the sound of small waves, watch the birds in the sky and put a good song in your head really gave you the placidity of mind. And everything else didn’t matter.

Life was that simple.

It’s a fact that sometimes things that we once loved doing were forgotten along the journey of life we've taken. Things that we used to be passionate about and had become essential parts of the life we once lived. But when you stopped doing them altogether, you’d tend to forget about them in perfect total.

Anyway, now, I get my fish stock at the Pasar Tani. No more waiting for the nibblings and the undoing of the line tangles. Easy catch. Just show them the money and the fish sellers will gut and clean the fish for you. All you have to do when you get home is to re-clean them and cook them to your likings. Senang kan?

One thing for sure is - I don’t think I’ll ever fish again. I doubt if I still have the patience I once had. And I’m certain that my children’s screaming would definitely scare the poor fish away!

The 30th Anniversary Reunion

The date was 4th February 1979. That was the day I registered myself as a Form One student in MRSM Kulim. That was 30 years and 6 days ago. To commemorate the day, we’ve decided to do a Reunion - 30th Anniversary Reunion of the never-ending friendship of our 1979 batch - The Killerbatch. I’ve no idea how or why this name was given to us in the first place - us 177 altogether, with the ratio of 1girl:2boys.

The last time I’ve seen most of them was like 25 years ago. That was when we left high school for good after the 1983 SPM. Now after more than 20 years, I was going to meet them again.

When I reached TEP with Hanna (my chaperone!) – there they were ... the girls and boys. My God, I realized how much we’ve changed. And how much friendship was left unattended all these while. My voice suddenly became hoarse for I just couldn’t contain the joy and excitement I felt inside while hugging the girls I knew who now had become beautiful women, and saying hi to the boys who had now become great men.

Although all of us have changed – the wrinkles, the extra ‘tires’, the pot bellies, the receding hairlines, the gray hair and all – they remained as 17 year-olds in my eyes. These are the people I actually grew up with. These are the boys and girls that had given me my five years of learning, exploring, making friends, getting new experiences and satisfying those curiosities.

It was a wonderful feeling I had that night. It felt tremendously good to meet up with old friends and realized that the 30 years of friendship has been brought up to a higher level -

... That these boys and girls are now my Brothers and Sisters...

Tagged - 16 Random Facts about me

I've been tagged by Wan Shana since December 24. Been meaning to finish the 'assignment' but couldn't get to point #2 without being interrupted. So tonite, after kissing, hugging and I Love Yous, I tucked all 6 of my angels to bed. Dear Hubby will be in PD until Friday, and I know sleep won’t come easy when he’s not around. So here goes:

16 Random Facts about me: (This will definitely be a loooooong and boriiiing posting)

1) I like to read. I started reading very early. By 12, I’ve already read hundreds of comics, magazines and books. I guess this was due to my dad(AYAH) being a teacher/writer and his habit of buying all kinds of magazines, comics and books to read. My fav comic before I was 7 was Master Q – the Chinese comic. AYAH had a cupboard full of these... Then I got hooked to Kesah Sa-Ribu Satu Malam series... and these books were in Bahasa Melayu Lama. Imagine me reading Arakian, Cheritera etc when I was 11. I loved them... and the GOOD news was – I asked for them recently and AYAH gave me the whole collection! Treasure, treasure!

2) I had Hyperemesis Gravidarium during my pregnancies. My last two pregnancies were the worst. It was when I was pregnant with Haifa (2002) and Hanis (2005). I couldn’t see/hear/smell FOOD and abhor even listening to McD’s ads. It was so bad that I kept close to the bathroom door for easy vomitting. In 2002, I was admitted in SJMC for 2 weeks and was IVd with 60 bottles of glucose and what nots! Habis parut tangan aku!

3) But I looove being in pantang! The confinement period would mean lots of pampering. I adore the 44-days of Tungku, the 12 times of uruts and the tons of jamu! And the taking care of the babies... love it...

4) I believe that my special children – Haziq and Husna – are the biggest reasons for the strength we feel, the love we nurture, the rezeki we welcome and the laughter we share... Sometimes when I looked at the glass half empty, I’d think of their future – the What Ifs... But the positive side of mine would always steer me back to think of the roses instead of the thorns....

5) I was a US size 6 or 7 when I got married at 25. My shoes size was 5. Now at 42+ I think I’ll only fit into size 12 or 13 or 15. My shoe-size currently stands at 7. I don’t know when I’ll stop growing... poor me :(

6) I got my driving license when I was 32! I think it took me nearly 3 years to get my license since there were many disruptions along the way... such as pregnantlah, beranaklah, pergi umrah lah, pergi Haji lah etc etc. And finally in 1998 after my haji, I got the license! And that came with a Kancil – which I was forced to drive by Dear Hubby... takut wooo... but when I got the hang of it, mulalah panjaaaaang langkah ku ini..hihihi...

Laa... baru #7 ka?

7) What else.. hmmhh... ok, one thing about me, I soo love gardening! I love plants and trees, although nowadays I sort of neglect them. I love to have all kinds of plants in the garden that my Mak said that my previous house looked like a jungle. I had to part with my lovely plants at one time when we did the renovation with the old house. Gave away like 40 pots and plants to my neighbor. Sedey tau.... but later I got the new ones in no time! Now, with a bigger garden, I realized that I already have all the plants that I want. But why do I still make that journey to Sg Buluh?

8) I love local fruits – mango, mangosteen, rambutan, duku langsat, durian, dokong are my favs. And I planted these trees (except dokong) here at home. And I love cherries.. but I guess they are not local, right? And they are so darn expensive!

9) I don't watch horror movies! That means I’m a penakut. If watching a horror film would make me start imagining things, better not risk it lah, kan?

10) I take my supplements religiously. I used to take jamus when I was younger, but I started taking supplements when I was nearing 40.

11) I started my skincare regime when I was 33, when I started using SKII. Prior to this it was Oil of Olay cleanser, and that was all I used. When I was nearing 30, I tried using a Malaysian product, then Artistry for a year, Estee for a year before I got stuck to SKII. A loyal user ever since.

12) I love capturing moments on camera. Ever since I used AYAH’s manual Yashica when I was 13, I got hooked to it. I remember when I was in MRSM Kulim, I used to rent a camera at a camera shop..12 exposures would be doubled to 24, and 24 doubled to 48. So I got to take more pictures with minimal price to pay. My first camera was given to me by my big bro – Bemmie. But that camera was stolen when my house was broken into back in the States when I was still studying. Frust giler! My 2nd camera was Canon Prima Super 135, 3rd – CanonPower Shot A620 and my current one – Canon 450D. I took loads of pictures and my picture album cabinets are the solid proof of that...

Berapa lagi nih...

13) I don’t know how many ‘memberships’ that I have. Since I like buying things, and since I like getting discounts, I’d always become a member.. eg like a)bookstores – MPH, Popular, Big Bookshop, SPP etc b)Shops like Robinsons, Jusco, Metro, Aussino, Lovely Lace, etc etc c) All the varieties - Cosway, Amway, Avon, Gano, Era Edar, Nona Roguy, Elken, 4Life etc etc d) A ME time - Missy Nails, Reborn for massage, Fish Spa, microdermabrasion package and many many more... segan pulak nak cakap... I’d usually join to get the discounts la... or am I easily lured into something? Hmmhh... something to ponder...

14) I can’t wear flat shoes. Or I’d tend to walk funny. Weird, huh? Even during my pregnancies, I’d still have to walk in a 2-inch heels. All my shoes will be in their 2 1/2 to 3 inch range although at the moment now my weight is at its heaviest ever....takut pulak patah tumit kasut...huhu...

15) Apa lagi.. Oh, I like slow rock songs since I was in my teens. Nowadays I tend to listen to them only occasionally. Indon songs, and some 80s English songs are the ones being played in my car while driving to work. Mellow with age lah... but sometimes ada jugak Led Zeppelin or Deep Purple tu...hihihi...

16) Last, but never the least – (I’m pretty sure Dear Hubby doesn’t know this), actually it was love at first sight when I first met him. I don’t know how, but I somehow knew then that he was the one for me. Met him in February 1991, engaged in July 1991, and tied the knot in November 1991. It was an intensive getting-to-know relationship and that relationship gave me the most precious package – 6 beautiful babies wrapped with Love, tied with Understanding ribbons and served on a Caring platter....

So, I'm done. I guess I won't be tagging anyone for now.... Lenguh tangan typing ni.. so gotta hit the sack... ZZZzzzzzZZZ

Of Nuzul al-Quran and TV3

Today is the 18th of Ramadhan. Yesterday was Nuzul al-Quran Day which falls on every 17th day of Ramadhan. Nuzul al-Quran as we know is the day to commemorate the revelation of the Holy Quran for the first time to Prophet Muhammad, pbuh.

Talking about Nuzul al-Quran, I remember the time I was on the national TV, nearly making a fool of myself.

It was Ramadhan 2006 or 2007 (which I can’t really recall). It was a routine for us to get some kuihs for iftar at our favorite restaurants or at the nearby Bazaar Ramadhan. I was walking with Ayah and the girls when I was stopped by this pretty lady. I didn’t realize who she was at that time but when the microphone was out, and the video cameraman came into view, my first reaction was ALAMAK, habis aku!

That girl was a TV3 reporter and she started shooting off the questions at me. I was nervous, what with the camera and people surrounding us and all. I remember the Q&A went something like this:

There was an increase in sugar price recently, what do you do to cope with it?
Emmm... aaahh... Our sugar intake is not on the high side, so I think we’ll manage it.

Does your husband help you at home?
Emmm... aaahh... Of course he does. But since both of us are working, the daily chores are done by the maids.

Do you argue about whose kampong to Balik Kampong to for the Raya?
We’ve made a pact when we got married. Only one kampong per Raya. Alternate system. So no problemlah.

What is Nuzul Quran?
Whaaa...? Could you please repeat the Question again? (duh... )

What is Nuzul Quran?
Emmm... aaahh... Hari pertama turunnya Quranlah.

Ok Kak, TQ.

So clever of her to make people Terkedu. The first three questions were on personal/family life, but the 4th question macam ‘out of scope’ pulak. When people ‘terkedu’ and nervous, they tend to make a mistake or start babbling.

My Mak called me later to let me know she saw me on TV3 answering the sugar (question1) and the Balik Kampung (question3). But I couldn’t wait to know about the Nuzul al-Quran question.

Until a few days later, an office colleague came to me and said:
”Kak Ja, I saw you on TV ”
Was it on the Nuzul al-Quran? Did I Iook and sound like a fool?
“No, you looked ok apa, and you gave the correct answer. Raaamaaai betul bagi jawapan salah.”

I guess the reporter was the one who made it difficult by posing the ‘out-of-scope’ question after asking the first three. Or else people will know what to answer. I wouldn’t want to know how embarrass I’d be to my children if I answered it wrongly.... Issshh....

Counting Sheep

I colored all my sheep with all colors I had in mind and decided that pink was the best color a sheep could look good in. It reminded me of cotton candy with four legs... The fluffy pinks melted in your mouth... aaahh...pure heaven.....

Eh, what am I babbling about?

I counted sooo many sheep last night that I’m still seeing them in front of me as I’m typing this. My head is spinning, my eyelids heavy and my mouth yawning 60 times in a minute. Thanks to my mistake in taking the wrong supplements at night – I was wide awake last night until 4:00am!

Since I forgot to take my supplements for the first day of puasa, I kept reminding myself to do it right for the second day. Last night, in haste, instead of taking my Glucosamine+Chondroitin, I took Surbex Zinc - a high potency B complex – that according to Abbott is to help increase your energy levels and improves your stamina! There I was – in the darkness of my bedroom, counting sheep like there was no tomorrow!

But you know what, while counting and coloring sheep and reciting some surahs, I could hear the breathings of my loved ones in the room with me. How those sounds brought tears to my eyes... and how grateful I was that they were alive and healthy despite those ‘noisy’ sounds they made.

I was also grateful for my children still want to sleep with me. Only Haziq sleeps in his room... the five girls are all my sleepingmates!! They each have their own room but when it comes to sleeping at night, they like to sleep with us.

Whatever people may say, I believe that as long as your children want to sleep with you, let them be. Once they grow older, they’ll slumber out in their own rooms. I just want to cherish the time while we still have it.

What about the parent’s privacy? Well, there are empty rooms to count sheep in :)

Draw the Line

I know it's my blog. And it's supposed TO BE :

1) where I can write how & what I feel
2) my outlet to vent & let off steam
3) 'MY'-time - where I can have the "MY-time" all to myself
4) sort-of a journal where my children can read when they're older
5) my realm of infinity

This morning Ayah asked me to remove one of the entries I wrote earlier. He said - "Jangan cari pasal".

I guess he was right. That entry might hurt some feelings. And I don't want to lose some friendships just because I wrote what I wrote.

At this age, friends and relatives are very much important. The older you get, the more you treasure what you have. And it's important to multiply that rather than having the numbers slashed off ... just because.

Come to think of it, although this cyberworld offers borderless/limitless opportunity for me to write whatever I want to, it's actually up to me to sift thru the cans and cannots.

"The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away."
- Wilson Mizner

My 42nd Year

If I were to live in India, it’d be a Public Holiday today, and I’d be celebrating my 42nd Birthday with India’s Independence Day!

Yes, I’m 42 today. I was born at 12:15 midnight of 15th August 1966. My parents were living in Langkawi at that time, but my AYAH insisted that Mak should take the boat ride to cross the ocean and gave birth to me in Kodiang, Kedah where AYAH’s kampung was located.

I’d like to thank everybody who had called me and sent me Birthday Greetings via sms, and emails since last night. I feel truly blessed to be given this life which is full of wonderful people of families and friends from all walks of life.

My Hubby – I’m genuinely happy to have a terrific husband like you. TQ for the birthday gift :) though it’s not a surprise. I can’t wait to drive it this afternoon. Love you ..mmmuuuaahhh...!

My Children – My Angels- Haziq, Husna, Hanna, Hasya, Haifa and Hanis. I love you with all my heart! Ayah and all of you make me complete. My special children Haziq and Husna – remember Allah chose you to be special because you’re SPECIAL. Your Ayah, Ibu and sisters will always be there for both of you.

My Parents – AYAH and Mak – I’m truly blessed to have parents like you. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to live the life that I’ve always wanted. Thank you for being there for me all these 42 years!.

My Siblings – Bemmie, Benjie, Kak Anim and Adik – and my ipars – Kak Zue, Kak Dora, Abg Rosli and Juin – love y’all! Hope all of you will have a tremendous life. And I wouldn’t trade you with anything in the world!

My Relatives – My Tok, aunties, uncles, cousins, nephews, nieces, grand nephews, grand nieces, my mom in law, sis-in-laws, brother-in-laws – you are wonderful people!

My Friends – My Primary School friends who are a bunch of fantastic ladies, my MRSM friends who are ever so marvelous, my Uni friends whom I’ve mostly lost contact with, my Office friends who have seen me from a Fresh Graduate to a mom-of-six, my friends I acquired thru the blogging world, my neighbors, my family friends and everybody I’ve known – you guys are amazing!

Thank you for being you!

Happy Birthday to Me :)

Shoeless

I know there are some women drivers who do not wear their shoes while driving. I’m one of them :) I tried wearing them a few times, but felt rather clumsy and awkward. I guess my toes need to be 'naked' when touching the gas and brake pedals...(Hmmmhh... I wonder how I passed the driving test with my shoes on?)

Anyway, like soooo many other women drivers out there, I have several pairs of shoes in my car. Two pairs at the front passenger’s side and three in the car boot. I don’t know why I have them in my car especially when I like to wear only one pair in like 4-6 months before I switch to another.

Since I have my shoes ‘living’ in my car, every morning I’ll just have to get in the car without any shoes on, make sure that my sunglass and laptop are there - and drive off to work. It worked that way until one Thursday morning when I had to hitch a ride with Ayah.

I hopped into Ayah’s car and chattered away until we reached my office. Then only I realized... ALAMAAAAK... I didn’t have any shoes to wear!

Luckily, I remembered my colleague, Suzanne, who had many pairs of shoes in her car (see, I’m not the only one here!) I called her up - it was very nice of her to come down, opened her car boot and gave a pair to me. Phew.. lega!

And it was not nice to wear another person's shoes the whole day, right? Now.. ehemm... I had a valid reason to get a new pair of shoes. Got one Snowfly from OU JJ that afternoon itself...Yippee!

The moral of the story : Ladies, if you just need a reason to get a new pair of shoes - despite all the ones in your shoe cabinet or car boot - do what I didlah... tak lah rasa guilty sangat membazir....LOL!

Microdermabrasions

Once upon a time, there was a 36 years old woman who thought that she needed to prioritize things up in the pamper-yourself department. Freshly out of her confinement of her 5th child, she signed up for a package of 10+1 sessions of microdermabrasions at a dermatologist clinic in Subang Jaya. She had the micro sessions done, and stopped going there after the 6th session.

Six years later, the woman who is now 42, decided to give a call to the clinic. She managed to squeeze in to get an appointment for her micro. The beauty consultant, Joanna was surprised to see her. The expression on Joanna’s face when she first saw the woman was like -

“My God, it’s been so long, I thought this woman was dead”.

Anyway, the woman had her microdermabrasion done that day and made an appointment for her 8th session, scheduled three weeks after that. She was determined to finish off her remaining sessions. And be done with it. After all, she would be left with only 4 more sessions to go. Pejam-celik mesti habis punya...

Came Saturday July the 26th, she went for the appointment. The first thing Joanna did was to show the woman her log book. Apparently, Joanna did some checking and realized that the woman had signed up for another package of 20 sessions of microdermabrasions, during one of her sessions a few years back. And that too was already paid in full!

The woman was dumbfounded. How could she forgot about the second sign-up?

And yeap, that dumbfounded Pudding Head was ME!

As I’m typing this, I’m still mulling over the 23 microdermabrasions sessions that I have to go. Not that I don’t want to look pretty...(as if!) but I don’t know how I’m going to finish them off. What with the Non-Transferable written smugly on the clinic card, definitely can’t give them out as birthday gifts to my good friends. Looking at the history of facials I’ve done in the past, I had my facial done ONCE a year! If I were to keep the pace as it was, I’ll be 65 when I have my last session... if I lived that long!

We don’t want that to happen, do we? So I better cease this chatter and give Joanna a call....

My First Blogging Experience

Assalamu'alaikum and Good Afternoon to all...
Wow! Finally I have my own BLOG! I've been wanting to write my thoughts ever since I started blog-hopping... but I was such a coward to ever have one..heheh..

Well, today, out of the blues this courage came to me... hey, today's a good day - why don't you start one today? Well, why not... and that's how I gave birth to this amateur blog, today May 7th 2008.

So.. please bear with me, ok... I'm crawling but hoping to be able to be here everyday...

Glad to be here :)