Hanna & MRSM

I was cleaning my drawer last night when I saw 6 movie ticket stubs. We watched the movie last year at Sunway Pyramid and I still remember one incident while queuing up to get that tickets. I was waiting with my Hanna when she recognized this guy in the same queue.
She went “Ibu, itu Sam Bunkface!”
I asked her, “Are you sure?”
“Very sure lah Ibu!” came the answer.
So I went like “You really want to buy his CD, so why don’t I ask him?”
“Jangaaaan Ibu.... malu!”

Hahaha.. I was just bluffing and there Hanna was – trying to make herself invisible for having a daring mom like me! I saw her face reddened. My God, my 11+ yo daughter really thought I was gonna embarrass her!

Since Sam and his pretty girlfriend were like two feet away when the line went the corner, I sakat Hanna some more... I whispered “Let me take his picture with my phone. You definitely wanna post this in FB and Myspace”

“Jangaaaaaan IBUuuuuuu.. pleeeeeezz nooooo”, and she turned away.... Malu for sure.. so I said “Oklah”. But I did snap twice when they were waiting for their popcorns. I know Hanna would like to tayang to her two sisters – Hasya and Haifa later on.

Alahai... Teringat my Hanna... who is now away from me in a boarding school up north since end of March. Sigh. I miss you. Double sigh.

You see, when she took the UPSR exam last year, just to be ‘fair’ I told her that she’d only be applying for MRSM, and not other schools. So I didn’t get online to apply for SBP for her. When the UPSR results were out, I have to fulfill my promise, so with a heavy heart I filled out the MRSM form for her and send it to MARA (hoping that she wouldn’t get in!)

The MRSM results came out in February 2010 and she wasn’t selected. I was happy – Yay! I gotta keep my baby at home! Hanna was ok, since initially she didn’t give much thought about MRSM anyway. She was happy with her friends and the school that she went was just around the corner. Unlike some of my friends who appealed to MARA, we didn’t. I just told her, “It’s all fated that you didn’t get to go to MRSM. Remember Allah knows what’s best for you”.

It was a month later when Dear Hubby called me in the office telling me that somebody from MRSM called him and asked him to check MARA’s website regarding Hanna. I was surprised to see the online offer letter from MRSM and that she had to register at the MRSM in less than two weeks. She was included in the second intake for Form One students to be enrolled in one MRSM up north.

That was a tough decision to make. Should I let her go? How about the classes she’s been taking like swimming, taekwondo, piano, squash and the guitar lesson she’s just started? Would she be ok like me when I was 12+ ... finding my way in MRSM Kulim in 1979? Would she find great friends like I did? Would she learn the many tastes of life like I had?

My friends in FB gave their opinions... so did my parents and my siblings. There were pros and cons... but mostly pros. Most would say that it would be for her future. Her education. So that the path for her to go on will be there once she finishes high school. But I knew then that whatever it was, it would all be up to me to decide since Hanna herself couldn’t decide. The thing was, I’ve always told myself, ever since the kids were just babies.. that I would never let the children leave the house until they’re done with their SPM and further their studies elsewhere. Not in a million years would I send them to boarding schools!

It was a Yes and No decisions in the next 4 days... until one day, while on our way to Kluang to see my MIL, Dear Hubby and I discussed (again!) and he said something like “It’s kinda funny to me when you don’t want Hanna to go to MRSM and yet you were schooled there. You should know how great it was.”

Yes, I had been selfish. I wanted her with me.. just because. So what should I say to her now that she’s got the offer? What about “It’s all fated that you did get to go to MRSM. Remember Allah knows what’s best for you?”

So I decided to let her go. She’s now away from me in her MRSM. It’s tough you know, especially during birthdays when she wasn’t around to share the birthday cakes. Like going to the cinema to catch a good film. Or eating her favorite food and drinking her favorite drink. Or walking passed her favorite store in a mall. All would always come to “Hanna sure will love this”.

It’s been more than 3 months since, and I’m getting used to her not being around the house now. I can’t remember how many trips we’ve made up north to visit her or how many phone calls she made to me. She learns how to take care of her things now - washes her own clothes, gets up in the mornings on her own, tidies her own bed and locker, sweeps the floor, irons her clothes and manages her own time. These are all new to her since at home these are all done by the maid.

Everytime I see her, she looks more mature than my previous visit. But I guess she’s still pretty much smitten with Sam Bunkface..hahahaha...

** We love you Hanna! Take care of yourself, ok?

Missing my Flight

January’s gone... and now it’s already February. That first month of the year passed me by ever so quickly like a blink of an eye! I’ve been trying to write for quite some time but there were many things that got in the way...errr... a lame excuse huh?

January has been an easy month to begin with, with the kids starting schools, especially my Hanna who is now in a secondary school. I didn’t apply the SBP for her, but I did fill out the MRSM forms and sent them to MARA and ANSARA after her UPSR results was out. Hanna didn’t say anything to me regarding MRSM. We both thought the same thing – just wait and see.

When the result was out online on Feb 1st, I was somehow happy. Happy that she didn’t get accepted! How selfish of me was that? Being an ex-MRSM student myself, I know all the good things and all the benefits that MRSMs have to offer.. but... I just couldn’t shake this relief feeling off me. Well, I could sense that she felt the same way too.

Anyway, something happened to me on Saturday that affirmed “There’s Always a First Time for Everything” saying. I missed my flight home to Alor Setar! Dear Hubby and I were supposed to attend a cousin’s wedding in Kodiang, so the plan was to catch the earliest flight out, and the night flight in. I took my shower at 4:50am that morning and left home before 6am to catch the 7:15am flight. It’d usually take us around 30-35mins to reach LCCT but we were rather ignorant of these issues:
1) Parking at LCCT... uuurghhh.. If you’re not chauffeur-driven there, remember that it takes more than 5mins to find the parking space, get your bags out and lock your car.

2) Park to the nearest entrance to “Pelepasan”, and not “Ketibaan”, ok? When you're in a hurry, remember that every minute counts.

3) The check-in counters with flight destinations displayed are not meant for the above-forty people... like me. You either have to be sharp enough to scan which counter to go (when in a hurry), or use the binoculars while pulling your bag... and oh, remember not to trample on other passengers’ legs/bags while doing so.

So yeah, we couldn’t get on that flight. Although the plane was still there on the tarmac waiting for another 20mins before take-off, we were too late since the doors had been closed – according to the non-smiling PR guy who was supposed to be dealing with ‘public’ like us (I guess these people are trained to be void of emotions, or else they won’t last long in that profession).

And yeah, we didn’t take another flight out. I called up my cousin and apologized profusely for not being able to attend her son’s wedding. I also called my Mak, and was overcome by chagrin when Mak told me that she had cooked a sumptuous breakfast for us and was readying some special meal for us for lunch. Alahaaii.. frustnya.... Next time na Mak?

Whatever it is, I try to look at this episode positively. I believe that Dear Hubby and I were not meant to be on that plane that day. Maybe our seats were destined to be given to other poor souls on the waiting list who had more important things to do back in Alor Setar. Or perhaps I was supposed to attend to other matters that day which include :
1) Hanna’s sports day
2) Hanna’s Anugerah cemerlang UPSR
3) Hasya/Haifa school PIBG
4) Ghazal Party Queen play at Taman Budaya... (another charity event by Killerbatch...remember the Donni story? I’ll blog about this later)

So I'm good. Mesti ada hikmah dari setiap kejadian, right?

My Ramblings on Shoes

I love buying shoes, ever since I was a student back in the States. But my hectic lifestyle as a student (and worker – in the University’s Bookstore) would prevent me from wearing anything else other than my Nike or Reebok most of the time. So, I’d only resort to only window-shop whenever I went to the malls. I was used to having to swallow my saliva in a style that only Pepsi drinkers would know – when the gulping sound could be heard from miles away! And I’d be drooling at the same time, while my hands in my jeans pocket trying to count the greens that I had. That happened only when I saw a pair of something that really caught my eyes – yes – SHOES!

That was why I loved summers in California. I got to wear my sandals to the beach. Or went shopping in them. But since I never skipped taking summer classes during my 4 years there, I’d still have to wear my University sweaters, shorts, my worn Reebok and the JanSport backpack to school.

It was when I graduated and started working in a mall that I began my new hobby – buying shoes! Getting my first paycheck in the real world (the University Bookstore job as the Price Changer wasn’t really considered as one, ok?), saw me spending my dough on two pair of sandals! At that time I still couldn’t afford to buy branded shoes, so I practically adopted Payless ShoeSource as my buddy-store. Since I worked in a mall, every lunch I’d walk around and never missed trying a few shoes (and most of the time, buying) at the store. That was my era in high-heels/stilettos!

I still remember those leather sandals from Brazil. Loved them. They were so comfortable and durable.

You see, the major difference between those people selling shoes in the States and Malaysia is the way they treat their customers. There, those Uncle Sam’s people would ask you to sit down on the stool, hold your feet and put the shoes on for you. Tak geli pun. Unlike here (oklah, maybe not all).

Imagine this – you’re a mom with 4 small kids in tow and one crying baby in your arms asked for a pair of shoes for your no4. The salesperson would come and open up the box and shove the shoes to you. You’d then have to squat down (with the crying baby still) and tried several times to put the shoes on the no4 who’d be running here and there. And you’d then scream your lungs out for her to come and stand still so that you could make her put them on. The baby in your arms would cry even harder.

And guess what the salesperson would be doing all the while? Taking the dirt out of her fingernails or staring into nothing while playing with her hair, or simply trying to pop her oozing pimples, pretending she didn’t hear a thing! And when you ask for her help, she’d say that it’s the right size and it fits your no4 like a glove. Seeshhhhh...

Ok, you don't have to imagine being that mother. She was me!

My patience was tested again recently. Since I'm currently into wedges, I saw one pair of Clarks in the Curve a few weeks back and had been trying to get my hands on them... but to no avail.

** This is Siver Ash in tan leather**

I went to a few Clarks store but couldn’t get what I wanted – it was either the size wasn’t available or the color I liked was out of stock. So one day I went to the Clarks section in OU Jusco. The Clarks salesgirl (or probably the supervisor lah judging from her ‘kerek’ness) was standing next to some boxes writing something (or pretending to). I politely asked her :
“Excuse me dik, do you have the new wedges?” (I realized that there were no new shoes on the rack.. tak stock-up ke?)
“Apa ada kat situ saja kak”, she said to me without even glancing my way.
“Apa yang latest kat sini ye dik?”, I asked again.
“Apa yang ada kat situ saja kak”, came the reply.

Hisshhh... Hangin aku satu badan! Macam nak baling kasut saja kat muka dia! But I didn’t know why I just left. I should’ve said something bitter to her.. but I guess I wasn’t in the mood for a fight.

I think there’s a blessing in all that. Last week, while in Sunway Pyramid to catch Harry Potter’s latest movie with Dear Hubby, kids and maid, I found what I was looking for! To my surprise, the Clarks store in Sunway had so many varieties to choose from. And I managed to score this one:

** This is Speed Boat in tan leather**

So practical and comfy. Love this wedges!

**Now I remember what I've forgotten to do yesterday - to sort out the 6 pairs of shoes I have in my car!

Admit and Apologize

I wonder why it is so hard for some people to admit or apologize for their mistakes. I mean, if you were to borrow something from a person, it would be expected of you to return the item in the same condition when it was taken. Especially when the lender already told you of the do’s and don’ts in caring for that item. It’s your responsibility to follow the advice so that nothing bad would happen to the borrowed item.

If you spoilt the item, do admit your mistakes and apologize to the owner.. and at least make lah an attempt to compensate, although in most cases would be denied by the owner.

For example, say these:

“Sorry aaa... I tried to mend this thing but I couldn’t make it work. Please tell me how much this cost so that I could buy you a new one”

OR

“Sori. Could you please try to correct this? If you can’t, let me know so that I can pay you the amount you paid for that in the first place, or at least half the price”

OR

“I’m so sorry I did this. I must have spoilt it last nite when I was out collecting some cow dung in the paddy field which was so muddy after a heavy rain the evening before. But I’ll pay you back with the money I got from selling the cow dung”

Sorry, the last one was exaggerated unintentionally.

The lender would then say this, with only a tint of regret :
"I know you didn’t mean to spoil it. It’s OK. I’ll see what I can do. Thanx anyway”. (read : thanx for admitting, but hey, I don't want your money)

But since that person never said any of the three above, we’d have to get into that person's mind to get this out. Here’s the person's unspoken version:

"I know we don’t know each other well. In fact I think I’m only just one of the familiar faces you see around. But I still wanted to borrow this thing from you coz I liked what you have. I know you told me to take care of it coz it was quite fragile.

But I SWEAR to you, I didn’t spoil it. I did nothing at all, it just happened. I know that when I brought it home for one night, it was in a good condition but I SWEAR to you I didn’t know why it was spoilt. I tried to ‘unspoil’ it but I guess by doing that, it got worse. See, it's now totally spoilt, thanx to my effort.

Sorry lah you can never use it again. I suggest you find the solution to make it right, coz it was yours to begin with pun. Use your own money and don’t you dare asking me to compensate coz I didn’t spoil it!"

So who did it? Martha Stewart?

Some people just don’t have the common sense. A non-living thing don't spoil by itself, OK? C'mmon, we're not talking about an apple here. I know the thing cost less than a hundred, but where were your manners? Couldn't admit your mistake, could you?

My friends warned me not to layan that person anymore. But me being me, still do that. I just don’t know how to totally ignore a person. And you know what, that person never asked for the update on the spoilt thing. To him/her, it's water under the bridge.

Now I have to get me a new one. Or get it repaired.

Or perhaps I should just throw it away.

Sigh.

Counting Sheep

I colored all my sheep with all colors I had in mind and decided that pink was the best color a sheep could look good in. It reminded me of cotton candy with four legs... The fluffy pinks melted in your mouth... aaahh...pure heaven.....

Eh, what am I babbling about?

I counted sooo many sheep last night that I’m still seeing them in front of me as I’m typing this. My head is spinning, my eyelids heavy and my mouth yawning 60 times in a minute. Thanks to my mistake in taking the wrong supplements at night – I was wide awake last night until 4:00am!

Since I forgot to take my supplements for the first day of puasa, I kept reminding myself to do it right for the second day. Last night, in haste, instead of taking my Glucosamine+Chondroitin, I took Surbex Zinc - a high potency B complex – that according to Abbott is to help increase your energy levels and improves your stamina! There I was – in the darkness of my bedroom, counting sheep like there was no tomorrow!

But you know what, while counting and coloring sheep and reciting some surahs, I could hear the breathings of my loved ones in the room with me. How those sounds brought tears to my eyes... and how grateful I was that they were alive and healthy despite those ‘noisy’ sounds they made.

I was also grateful for my children still want to sleep with me. Only Haziq sleeps in his room... the five girls are all my sleepingmates!! They each have their own room but when it comes to sleeping at night, they like to sleep with us.

Whatever people may say, I believe that as long as your children want to sleep with you, let them be. Once they grow older, they’ll slumber out in their own rooms. I just want to cherish the time while we still have it.

What about the parent’s privacy? Well, there are empty rooms to count sheep in :)