To my beautiful friend, my confidante,
I know it’s hard for you to accept what’s happening in your life right now. The life you thought would be void of cruelty and madness. I know it’s even harder for you to wear that fake smile to show the world that you’re not hurting. I know it hurts, dear. It hurts so bad that even I can feel your pain.
If only we could go back to change things to the way we want them to happen. If only that could be done. Mistakes are made, I know, but it depends on how they happened. How severe those mistakes were. How ugly the actions were that you’d want to puke and cringe just thinking about them.. How dirty the mistakes were that they can’t be erased with anything....
Only taubat will be the answer. But the person who made those mistakes will have to give his all. But did he? Or will he? After all these years, and after all those so-called mistakes, will he change?
I know you’re a giver, dear. You’re the kind of person who’d give the shirt off her back. You believe that people can change for the better. You’re willing to take the risk. Thus you ignored everything around you. The others who love you. Those who care for you. Those who’re part of you in the whole episodes of your life.
Sigh. There are so many things I want to say to you. But I just don’t want to lose you.