I was feeling out of sorts earlier today. Nothing I did seemed right. Even a simple SQL statement didn’t extract the correct data. And the network wasn’t functioning well - intermittent all morning. Crap. And when the network was slow, the users would start complaining. Your system’s slow. As if they didn’t know the reasons. It was the network, dammit, my system had nothing to do with it, ok!
Oopps.. sorry for my language... I guess I got carried away with this morning’s mood I was in. It all started last night when I got pretty mad at my Hanna, Hasya and Haifa. Sometimes they just don’t listen. I hate the yellings that I have to make every single day –
Wash your hands (after playing with the bugs and what nots in the garden)
Take your shower (before 7:30pm)
Play your piano (exam’s around the corner)
Go to Sleep (c'mon, I’ve got to wake you up at 5:45am tomorrow)
Stop fighting (it’s not music to my ear, ok!)
Why do I always have to do that? Why can’t I be like my Mak? All my 42 years, I can swear that Mak has never even once pinched me. Never raised her voice at me. Never smacked my behind. Never scolded me.
So why am I doing to my girls what Mak has never done to me? Why do I have this little patience in me?
Am I a bad mother? Is my way of teaching my children a wrong way? Do I lack parenting skills?
Then at lunch, while nursing my cephalalgia, I stumbled upon this website. Parentsbehavingbadly.com. Gosh...that’s EVIL. With a Capital E in bold. I just can’t imagine any parent could do that to their children. It’s unthinkable and totally crazy!
What happened there actually? Some wires in the 3lb got short-circuit?
Somewhere along the line, some of us forgot that our children are the gifts from God. Amanah Allah untuk setiap ibubapa. As parents, we have to nurture them to become good human beings. Nurturing will include not only by providing them with the basic needs such as food, lodging and education – unwavering love, TLC, huggings and kisses, etc etc should also be packaged together.
And I’m sure Ayah and I have done all that. So why was I so cranky last night (and this morning)?
Then it hit me.
There’s nothing wrong with my Hanna, Hasya and Haifa. And there’s nothing wrong with me either. That’s how growing children behave... that’s part of the growing up thingy. And how I felt was pretty much normal to some parents with this level of patience in them. So my Mak has a higher degree of patience, thus no screaming at her children from her. Unlike me. But it’s okay coz I know I’m a good Ibu to all my children. I’ve done my best in my children’s upbringings.
And I know that their growing up era will definitely be colorful ones. I just hope that I’ll be there for them all the time...
Hmmhh.. It was like yesterday when I felt them endearingly small in my arms...