Saturday, November 29, 2008

Giving in

It made me wonder why we have to give in to other people or digest whatever we actually dislike for the fear of being retaliated against.

It happened to me several times. The latest one was when Ayah, Hasya and I were watching Quantum of Solace at Cineleisure recently. Since it was a last minute decision, we just managed to get the front row seats for the 9pm show. Behind us were a group of young foreigners.

The movie was great, but we didn’t get to enjoy it. Why?

The youngsters made so much comments that I felt like gagging them with my shawl! They acted as if they were watching TV at home and made comments for every scene! And they didn’t even care to whisper. Isshhh!

They also pushed our seats with their feet. Ayah turned and warned one of the boys. When my seat was pushed, I did turn and asked the boy not to do it again. It stopped, but the racket continued. I told Ayah to just let go. We stayed till the end but the movie was already too stale to watch.

I didn’t want to find fault with the youngsters because I believed anything could happen. What if we pissed them off? The things that they might have done... I don’t want to go into that....

The other example is about the security people in my housing area. We paid RM30 to have them to patrol at night. They did their rounds... but these past few months we realized that the rounds became lesser. Ayah wanted to stop their service, but I disagreed. What if they wanted to teach us a lesson and did something to prove that we still need their services? It gave me the creeps just to think about it...

Take that RM30. The non-uniformed security people might say that’s the monthly payment for their services. But to me – that’s my Protection Money.

Maybe I was influenced by what I read in the newspapers. Maybe I worry too much. But I guess it’s ok to feel that way. Better safe than sorry.... And protecting our loved ones comes first.

Right?

20 comments:

Queen Of The House said...

You know, a lot of times I am like that, too, just to keep the peace. It gives me a scary feeling in my stomach (like you can feel your stomach twisting) when my husband confronts people just to stand up for what is right. I suppose it depends on what kind of person you are - assertive or compliant. I takut cari gaduh :P

Akmal said...

Keeping your head cool is challenging as well. I take this kind of situation, usually by giving these people a hush. Usually, they(we) will understand. You know, us youngsters. We misbehave because, let's face it, that's just who we are. But trust me, most of us still respect other people; and most of us still 'makan saman', and yes, we can use some advice.
What I can tell, most of us don't like being told to do this and that; and especially when the one talking is kinda giving command.
My 2 cents hehe :D

Dalam Dakapan Ibu said...

Dear QOTH,
There were times when I felt like fighting back but I'd quickly back-off for fear of any untoward incidents. I'd always terbayang-bayang anak-anak, so tak jadi nak fight back.
Sometimes when we were on the road, esp the highway, the other driver yg salah tapi 'telan' saja.. mana tau itu road-bully... nanti naya! Ikut hati, nak jugak give them the finger :P

Dalam Dakapan Ibu said...

Dear Akmal,
You're right. Youngsters are youngsters..I've been there. Kalau kena 'hush' macam tu, kita pulak yg malu sendiri...But these foreigners- mcm tak reti bahasa langsung. Ada org lain dah hush pun, tapi kulit tebal, tak makan saman. Both Ayah and I, bila kena tendang2 kerusi macam tu, we just couldn't take it... tu yg kena tegur tu.
The bottomline is, for fear of revenge etc, most people will give in like I did... banyak sangat cases yg sampai fatal, tu yg takut tu...

Uncle Lee said...

Hello Ibu...regret to read of your experiences,

When I was a teen with my friends in a cinema, we never made any noise. Instead...I let go a grass snake when the movie starts...

Movie lasted overtime. Only when growing older, instead of a snake, I brought a girl. We all grow up, ha ha. Lee.

yus said...

Ja,
i had experienced situations like yours too.Sekali tu masa kat bukit jambul complex penang,kereta I yg baru 2 minggu keluar kedai, penuh dgn dents and calar dgn cat merah kat bumper sebelah pasengger depan. obviously sebijik kancil merah yg park senget sebelah kereta I punya kerja la. I punya la furious,mengamuk sekejap tepi kereta tu, tendang2 geram tayar kereta kancil tu, can u imagine me doing that? :) Then tiba2 mai la dua org jejaka, tuju terus kat kereta kancil tu. I kata kat abgteh, ha..tu dia, confront depa cepat. You know what..abgteh tanya depa tu, punyalah lembut."excuse me..ni you langgar ke? " Mana la depa nak mengaku, "oh talak, kita park keleta dali pagi lagi, lu punya keleta balu mali, kita taktau..." putih je mata tengok depa reverse and pergi mcm tu je. Dalam kereta, I marah la jugak, "apasai you tak marah sikit tadi, habih la kereta mama, tu sapa nak bayar masuk workshop?" sambil nak keriyau la, mcm biasa...
Abgteh kata,"I tgk dalam kereta ada periuk belanga dan barang2 masak termasuk sudip,takut ada pisau atau golok pulak. Biag pi lah, takut jadi apa2 nanti, susah" That's the history of my 2 week old car in 2003. sedehhhh...sob sob..

wanshana said...

I feel the same way, too. Always when I'm faced with the same situation, I would just walk away especially when the kids are with me, (tapi menyumpah dalam hati bagai nak rak!) coz' we don't really know who we're dealing with.

Tapi, ada times while driving bila ada drivers yang teramatlah kurang ajar on the road - my finger naik jugak...(on top of my continuous honking and light flshing!!)

Waterlily said...

DDI

I'm one of those ppl yang kureng sabar dengan benda benda mcm tu. Especially bila kita dah bagi tau elok elok, dua tiga kali. Rasa nak sekeh je kepala sesapa tu lah! At times I let it go, and this happens when I;m tired. Or it could turn worse too - I menyinga kat situ jugak! hahahaha...

We are humans DDI, we have feelings. Tahap kesabaran seseorang tu je yang differentiate how we react to such provocations. On the other hand - mereka yang berbuat perkara 'tak manis' (ee..polite nye word i ni) tu yang ada 'putus wire' sikit..

Chill out DDI. If I was there, i boleh tolong taji mereka nih. Its ok, I jadik villain kejap..

jabishah said...

You did the right thing. I however always give in to my temper. Good thing that HB is most of the time around. He is more rational than I am. Driving for instance. I wld simply honk & even mouth the word STUPID or even BODOH. HB has warned me a lot... am changing, yes I am!

Salt N Turmeric said...

memanglah tersgt sakit hati kalau orang buat bising masa tengok movie. Kalau ikutkan hati, memang rasa nak tampar aje kan? next time Kak Ja keluar and inform the cinema ppl/mgt abt the ppl yg buat bising and let them take some action.

Dalam Dakapan Ibu said...

Hi U.Lee,
Whaaaattt??? Grass snake???? OMG!!!

Naughty, naughty Lee!

I'd have fainted if the snake were to slither...eee....

Any screamings???

Dalam Dakapan Ibu said...

Yus dear,
What a sabaaaar hubby you have there! I can imagine him talking to the guys like that... Teh..Teh...

Mesti asap keluar kiri kanan telinga you...hehehe..

Tapi fikir balik, takut jugak ada pedang samurai ka dalam kereta tu. Those guys mesti jenis samseng, kalau tak, mesti depa dah cabut lepas langgar kereta Yus tu...

Urut dada sajalaa...

Dalam Dakapan Ibu said...

Dear Shana...
Yeah, you're right. We don't know who we're dealing with. Takut kena yg kepala tengah high - tak pasal-pasal kita pulak yg kena...

Yesterday while driving to work, I did honk one of the cars tu. Mula2 dahla I gave her to cut masuk infront of me. Lepas tu bila sampai depan sket she took the right lane... I pulak kena move a bit to the right (w signal)sebab ada kereta stop kat tepi. Minah tu siap honk I lagi. Sampai kat depan, pompuan yg tak kenang budi tu terus menyelit masuk depan I. Bawak kereta mcm orang mabuk. Apa lagi I honk sampai 5-8 seconds kot. Padan muka dia termalu2 cabut..

Dalam Dakapan Ibu said...

Dear Waterlily,
Hahahaha... Taji, jangan tak taji...hahahaha!!

Tu lah kan, banyak sangat cases yg tak pasal2 kena bunuhla, samun la, just becoz si victim ni confront or 'jeling' sikit kat samseng tu.

Takut baca newspaper cerita2 macam ni..... hmmhhh...

Dalam Dakapan Ibu said...

Jabishah dear,
You're not alone there... driving ni yg betul2 sakit jiwa especially when dealing with 'drunk' drivers.

I remember when I was heavily pregnant (dah 8-9 months kot)with my Hanis. I was in the car with the signal on - at Carrefour SJ parking lot - waiting for a car to get out of its parking space. Elok saja that car keluar, came this car (w 2 guys) terus belok masuk!! I terkebil-kebil tengok. I moved the car, rolldown the window and maki2 those 2 guys. STupid, Asshole semua keluar. Yang geramnya mamat2 tu sengih2 saja.

Kalau ikut hati, macam nak pegi 'garik' their car.... Terus beristighfar...

Dalam Dakapan Ibu said...

Farina dear,
Kalau complaint, satgi those foreigners tunggu kitorang pulak... serba salah betul..

Kak Ja penah tengok cerita Alexander & gambar tu tak sharp, macam not in focus. We made the complaint, those ppl from the mgmt came, mengaku tak sharp tu... but they did nothing... Spoil betul! I think kat US tak mcm tu, kan?

Salt N Turmeric said...

Apa yg takde nya Kak Ja. Baru last week tengok Twilight, adalah 2 women ni bawak baby dlm stroller and the baby i think rimaslah duudk dlm gelap with all the noise fr the movies (diorang duduk kat front row) and started crying. Diorang cuma goyang2 the stroller but didn take the baby out. Nak jerit, we were sitting kat row atas and the other side. sakit hati sungguh.

Dalam Dakapan Ibu said...

Laaa Farina.. apasal lah those women bawak baby tengok wayang... Tunggu lah besar sikit... I think those who sat nearer to them mesti gerraam saja. Tak ada org tegur ke?

tireless mom said...

Dear DDI

The husbands can be very impatient but the wives will be scared to death if anything unwarranted happen in case of provocation. I had the same experience in the cinemas, not youngsters but small children. Kesian jugak at times cos the moms and dads nak watch movie and they may not have the privilege of having maids at home kan. Sabar je lah.Take care.

Dalam Dakapan Ibu said...

Dear tireless mom,
So far, I've never experienced small kids crying/wailing in cinemas... Kalau the movie is kids' movie, I pun naik gelak sama kuat dgn budak2 dlm panggung.. hehehe..

My 6th daughter-I dah bawak dia tengok wayang since she was 2+. what she'd do then - makan & makan.. sampai dia dah bored, then I'd breastfeed her until she slept.. hihihi...